


Yours Truly

by Buttercup12



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Boyfriends, Drama & Romance, High School, Love, M/M, Romance, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-02-07 12:59:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 51,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12841674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Buttercup12/pseuds/Buttercup12
Summary: Eddie Kaspbrak has it bad. He’s bullied for being a tiny, delicate, hypochondriac boy. He’s also bullied for being very, very, very gay. Long story short, his life isn’t the easiest.However, that’s all a piece of cake when compared to his gigantic, pathetic crush on Derry High’s most popular and oh so very straight Trashmouth, Richie Tozier.Richie has no idea he even exists.Right?Wrong.





	1. Walking on a Dream

**Author's Note:**

> Heeeeeey everyone! I’m returning with a brand new Reddie fic. Seriously can’t get enough of these two. They’re too cute. I REALLY hope you all enjoy this story. Let me know what you think in the comments. Enjoy!

“I just - I wish I could have a boyfriend, you know? I wish someone could kiss me like that.”

Eddie Kaspbrak turned his attention from putting books into his locker, to one of his closest friends, Beverly Marsh, who was leaning her back against the closed lockers next to his and staring woefully at a couple who were kissing and giggling with each other down the hall from them.

Eddie sighed softly and reached a hand out to rest it on Beverly’s shoulder.

”I know, Bev. You deserve one, you really do. You’ll find a great guy eventually.”

Beverly locked eyes with Eddie and softly smiled.

”Thanks, Eddie. You deserve to find one too,” she said, giving him a pointed look.

Eddie snorted.

”Here in Derry? Yeah, right. Get outta here,” he said with a chuckle.

Beverly sighed and rolled her eyes.

”So, fine. Maybe your Prince Charming isn’t here in Derry, but we’ve got one more year here and then we graduate. After that, we’re free to go wherever we wanna go. You’ll find the perfect guy far away from this shitty place.”

Eddie grinned.

It was true. 

They were finally seniors. Sure, Eddie wishes with everything he has inside him that he had a boyfriend, but just one more year to go, and then he can get the hell out of Derry. He can go to a place that actually accepts people like him, and he can find himself a great guy. Hopefully.

”Yeah,” he sighed. “I just wish I wasn’t so...lonely.”

Beverly gave him a sympathetic smile.

”I know, honey. You’ll always have me, though. Remember that.”

Eddie felt a rush of affection towards his friend.

”What did I do to deserve a friend like you?”

Beverly laughed.

”Yeah. You’re pretty lucky you have me.”

They laughed together for a few more seconds before a shrill and high pitched voice interrupted the two of them.

”Hi, baby! I missed you so much!”

Eddie and Beverly both turned their heads to see Derry’s most popular girl and head bitch, Heather Winstead, wrapping her arms around her boyfriend, Richie Tozier.

He was obviously the most popular boy in the school. Everyone loved him. He had a bit of a vulgar sense of humor, which he always tried to show off with his jokes, and though it annoyed some teachers, all the students thought he was hilarious. Surprisingly, Richie wasn’t a bad guy. He was actually pretty kind to just about everyone. Eddie had only seen him get upset a few times. Why he was dating Heather of all girls, no one knew. Maybe he enjoyed being a part of Derry’s power couple. 

Eddie stared longingly as he watched Richie wrap his arms around Heather’s waist and lift her in the air, spinning her around, causing Heather to begin giggling obnoxiously loud.

”Yeah, we’re seniors now, Eddie. Maybe it’s time to move on from this crush, don’t you think?”

Eddie snapped his eyes to Beverly, who was watching him with raised eyebrows and a smirk.

”Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled. “It’s not that easy.”

”Yeah, I know. But, at least start trying. You’re wasting your time with him,” she said.

He sighed softly and turned to watch Richie and Heather again. Heather now had her back against a row of lockers and Richie was in front of her, with one hand on a locker next to her face as he leaned in towards her. 

Eddie watched as Richie whispered something in her ear, causing her to giggle wildly and cup one of his cheeks with her hand. Her other hand snaked around his waist and pulled him in closer.

Richie grinned and as if he sensed someone watching him, he turned his head and made eye contact with Eddie. 

Eddie immediately snapped his eyes back to his locker, throwing the rest of his books in without caring if they were straight or not. He felt his breathing pick up a bit and he could only hope that Richie didn’t catch on to the fact that he had been staring at him for a while. 

He heard Beverly snicker next to him.

”Don’t worry, they’re gone now,” she said.

Eddie breathed a sigh of relief and stared down the hallway again to make sure she was telling the truth. The row of lockers where Heather and Richie were just occupying were now empty. 

He couldn’t help his extremely pathetic unrequited crush on Richie. I mean, the boy was absolutely perfect in Eddie’s eyes.

He was tall, with beautiful pale skin and high cheekbones. He had soft looking pink lips that Eddie wished he could press his own lips to. He had wild dark brown curly hair that Eddie wanted to run his fingers through. He used to wear a pair of thick rimmed glasses that took up almost his whole face, but he had since then switched to a pair of contacts. Eddie couldn’t help but notice the beautiful shade of chocolate brown his eyes were. 

Other than his gorgeous looks, Richie was funny and kind. Sure, he could be pretty blunt with his comments towards some people, but he meant well and he wasn’t a bully in the least bit. His girlfriend, on the other hand, was a major bitch. Eddie couldn’t count the amount of times he’d heard her make fun of other girls or laugh at other’s misfortunes. Eddie himself had his fair share of bad memories with Heather. She had called him a fag or a fairy more times than he could count. 

However, she never acted this way in front of Richie. She would pretend to be an angel in front of him. No one ever told Richie about her true colors, in fear of what she might do to them if they told. 

Eddie would gladly tell Richie all about how his girlfriend acts when he’s not around, but he can’t even get two words out of his mouth in front of him without turning into a stuttering mess. 

He knew Richie would never like him back, but he still couldn’t help but crush hard on him. He’s known Richie since they were in seventh grade but he’s never really spoken to him. They’ve only ever had a few encounters, but every one has been short and meaningless.

Richie probably didn’t even know he existed. Hardly anyone at that school did.

Eddie felt a wave of sadness wash over him, but he quickly reminded himself that in just one more school year, he’ll officially be out of Derry for good.

The bell rang, letting students know they had five minutes to get to class before they were tardy.

”Let’s get to class, shall we?”

Beverly nodded in response to his question, and smiled. She linked her arm with his and they walked together to their shared English class.

* * *

 

Later that day, after getting tripped by one of Heather’s jock friends, Eddie found himself on the ground in the hallway, desperately trying to gather all his belongings he dropped around him when he fell.

Laughter from the jocks echoed around Eddie as they high fived and left him on his own.

Eddie waited until he couldn’t hear their voices anymore, before he breathed a sigh of relief and continued picking up all his stuff.

He couldn’t help but be relieved that the jocks only tripped him, nothing more. Usually, they liked to shove him around or punch him in the stomach, or even cram him into a locker and laugh as he struggled to breathe and get out.

He heard the tardy bell ring, and he groaned as he realized he was late to his favorite class of the day.

Music class.

He wasn’t much of a musician, but he found music to be extremely interesting and amazing. Besides, he had music to thank for not completely breaking down into a sobbing mess on some particularly bad days.

He’s been self teaching himself the piano ever since he was five, and now at seventeen, he had to admit that he was pretty damn good at it. 

Lots of days when school ends and everyone goes home, he’ll stay after and go to the music room to use the piano for a while. He sometimes gets so lost in playing that he completely loses track of time and receives an earful from his mother when he finally gets home.

Eddie smiled softly as he thought of a new piece he just finished learning. 

“Is this yours?”

Eddie snapped his head up and almost toppled over as he took in the person who was standing above him, holding a pen out in front of him.

Eddie felt like he couldn’t breathe. It was Richie Tozier in all his glory. He looked so good.

The hand that wasn’t holding the pen was sitting comfortably in the pocket of his jeans and he had an easy grin on his face as he stared down at Eddie, who still hadn’t spoken once.

Finally, Eddie slowly nodded his head and reached out. Their fingers brushed as he grabbed the pen out of Richie’s hand. 

Richie put his now free hand into his empty jean pocket and grinned. Eddie stared in awe as he wondered how Richie was so effortlessly beautiful. 

“Thank you,” Eddie barely said above a whisper.

”You’re welcome. Eddie, right? Eddie Kaspbrak?”

Eddie’s eyes widened. Richie knew his name? What the fuck?

”Y-yes.”

Richie nodded and then held out a hand.

Eddie gulped as he stared at Richie’s long fingers for a few seconds. Finally, he tentatively slid one of his hands into Richie’s.

”I’m Richie Tozier,” he said as he shook Eddie’s hand. “Nice to properly meet you, even though we’ve been going to the same schools since we were in seventh grade,” he joked.

Eddie couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He thought Richie had no idea who he was. It turns out, Richie knew exactly who he was.

He tried to chuckle but it sounded more like a strangled whimper than an actual laugh.

”Uh, yeah. It’s nice to meet you as well.”

Richie’s grin somehow widened even more as they finally released hands. Eddie realized that his hand now had a tingling sensation.

”So, why are you on the ground?”

Eddie was about to open his mouth and say that he was tripped, but then he realized how lame and pathetic that would sound, so he quickly made something up. 

“I tripped and fell down,” he lied.

Richie winced.

”Ouch. Are you okay?”

Eddie melted at the question. Richie was actually making sure he was okay.

”Oh! Um. Yeah, yeah of course. It didn’t uh, hurt very much. Just. Well, I guess I’m just kind of clumsy,” he said, mentally facepalming himself for the blabbing.

Richie laughed and he leaned down to pick up the rest of Eddie’s belongings for him.

”I know what you mean. I trip and stumble all the time too. It doesn’t help that I’m practically a giraffe,” Richie joked.

Eddie felt himself let out an embarrassingly loud giggle. However, Richie simply joined in on the laughing.

”So, anyways. Are you coming to the party this weekend?”

Eddie froze up at the mere mention of a party. He had never been to one, and to be completely honest, he never wanted to go to one. They were loud, disgusting, and wild.

”Um. No.”

”What? Why not?”

”I-I. I don’t really go to parties. At all. Ever.”

Richie raised his eyebrows but not in a judging way. He seemed genuinely curious.

”Why not?” He asked.

Eddie shrugged. 

“Just not really my scene, I guess. Besides, I wasn’t invited to any party this weekend...so.”

Richie gave him a half smile.

”Well, I’m inviting you. It’s gonna be at Heather’s house. It won’t be a very big crowd, trust me. You should come.”

Eddie shook his head.

”Oh, I don’t think so. People at this school won’t really want to party with...someone like me.”

”There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. Besides, if anyone did have a problem, I’d have no issues with kicking them out,” Richie explained.

Eddie couldn’t believe he was here, talking to Richie, and getting invited to a party by Richie. His world certainly had a turn of events today.

”U-uh. Okay. I’ll come. Do you mind if I bring my friend, Beverly?”

”Of course I don’t mind. Bring whoever you want,” Richie said warmly. 

Eddie smiled, and flushed under Richie’s gaze.

”We’ll be there,” Eddie said softly.

Richie’s face lit up as he grinned and suddenly, he felt Richie’s hand in his own again and then he was being tugged up off the ground.

They were now only a couple inches apart from each other, and their hands were still clasped with one another’s. Eddie could see every part of Richie’s face this close up. It was like seeing him in high definition. And boy, did Richie look good in high definition.

Finally, Richie cleared his throat and let go of Eddie’s hand, backing up to give them some space between each other.

”I figured you might need a little help off the ground after taking a spill,” Richie said. “Well, I gotta get to class. Usually, I’d have no problem with skipping, but unfortunately, we have an exam I can’t miss in Government today. I’ll see you around, Eddie.”

Eddie could only nod as Richie gave him one more grin and then turned around, walking in the opposite direction.

Eddie stared at his retreating back until he was out of sight. Once he was gone, Eddie let out a long breath and smiled to himself. 

Suddenly, being super late to music didn’t matter so much to him anymore.

He quickly pulled out his phone and texted Beverly.

They needed an emergency shopping trip for the party this weekend. 

He thought of Richie’s smiling face. 

Maybe this party wouldn’t be so bad after all.


	2. Fantasy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!!! Oh my gosh, I am absolutely BLOWN AWAY by the amount of feedback I received. Thank you SO much for it, you have no idea how much that means. Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Saturday ended up coming way too soon for Eddie’s liking. 

He woke up around 9 AM with a text from Beverly, letting him know that they  _must_ be ready for the party that night.

Eddie spent most of the day lounging around the house, too nervous to actually enjoy his day off from school. Finally, when it was about 8 PM, Eddie laid back on his bed and closed his eyes, thinking.

Everyone at the party really wouldn’t talk to him. Sure, he would most likely  _know_ some of the people there, but he wasn’t actually close with any of them. And even if he had Beverly right by his side, Eddie was sure that even she would get bored with being stuck to him, and would eventually venture off herself to talk to others.

The thought made Eddie’s chest tighten. What if he was left alone with no one to talk to, and forced to watch Richie and Heather drunkenly make out or something? Eddie quickly shoved that thought out of his mind, completely disgusted by it.

He sighed and began contemplating whether or not he should just text Beverly and let her know he was going to sit this party out. However, just as that thought passed through his mind, there was a sharp knock on his door.

”Eddie! You have a friend. It’s that dirty Miss Marsh girl. I don’t like her, I don’t see the point in you talking to her. She’s going to infect you,” his mother sneered from the other side of his door.

He rolled his eyes.

”Mom, please stop. You know she’s my best friend. Will you please just let her up?”

He heard a loud huff and then stomping footsteps begin retreating back downstairs.

Moments later, his door opened and in came Beverly.

”Whats up, hot stuff?” She said with a smirk. “Why do you look so glum?”

”I don’t really want to go to this stupid party,” he grumbled. “Sure, Richie invited me, but it’s not like he or any of those other kids for that matter are going to talk to me. They act as if I don’t even exist.”

He heard a sigh and then felt a dip on the other side of his bed as Bev sat down next to him.

”Cheer up, Eddie. It’s just one party. I’m going to be there with you the whole time if you need. Although, there will be some cool kids there that I think we’ll get along with. Bill Denbrough? Stan Uris? Come on, you don’t mind them.”

”They seem cool and all, but they’ve never even addressed me before,” Eddie said quietly.

”Maybe it’s because you haven’t exactly made an effort yourself to talk to them either,” Beverly said in her usual motherly tone she used with him.

Eddie huffed and crossed his arms.

”Whatever,” he mumbled, upset that Beverly was right as usual.

”Come on, cheer up! Look at yourself, you look great! I refuse to let you chicken out. We both spent way too much money on these awesome outfits. Let’s go. Now,” Beverly said.

Eddie finally cracked an eye open, glancing at Beverly. His eyes widened when he really took in her appearance.

”Bev! You look....beautiful. You’re gorgeous!” He gushed.

Beverly smiled and blushed.

”Really? You think?”

Eddie quickly nodded, taken away by the sheer beauty he was seeing.

”Yeah. Definitely. You’re gonna blow everyone away at that party.”

Beverly smirked and shrugged her shoulders before standing up and gesturing Eddie to do the same.

Once they were both up, she led him by the shoulders to his floor length mirror so that he was staring at their reflection.

”Speak for yourself,” Beverly said.

Eddie stared at himself in the mirror. He had to admit, he was really liking the way he looked tonight. Beverly helped him pick out the perfect outfit and he even styled his hair, using a bit of product to really make his hair look a bit thicker and fuller. He smiled at himself.

”Well, you ready? Let’s go before I change my mind,” Eddie said with a grin.

Beverly gave a little cheer and they began leaving.

* * *

They had been at the party for about an hour by this point. Eddie was currently sitting on a couch in the corner of the room, sipping from a cup of water.

He wasn’t really enjoying himself too much. He tried to have fun when he and Beverly first arrived. He really did. He tried talking to the nice guys, like Bill, Stan, Mike, and Ben. While he was able to hold a conversation with them for a little bit, he couldn’t keep their attention much longer, because soon enough, all four boys were being pulled away by others, and Eddie was left on his own again.

To make matters worse, he hadn’t seen Richie anywhere. The only time he saw him was when he and Beverly first arrived. Riche had opened the door for them and enthusiastically greeted them, even laying on a hand on Eddie’s shoulder in the process. However, soon after, he disappeared and Eddie hasn’t seen him since. He hadn’t seen Heather either. Eddie didn’t even want to guess what that meant.

Beverly stayed with him like she promised, but just like Eddie figured, she was able to begin socializing with others easily. Eddie could tell she really wanted to dance, so he told her to go ahead and do so. 

Now, he was siting alone on the couch, watching as Beverly danced with Ben. Eddie knew she had a crush on Ben. He always noticed how her eyes would soften and her cheeks would redden whenever Ben passed them in the hallways. 

He couldn’t help but feel happy for her. He knew Ben would be great for her.

He turned to stare at the water that was sitting in his cup, when a voice suddenly interrupted.

”Water? You’re seriously drinking water at a party?”

Eddie snapped his eyes up and saw Gretta Keene standing above him with a sneer on her face.

”I-I don’t drink alcohol much,” he said softly but firmly. Hopefully she wouldn’t bother him tonight.

”Yeah,” she snorted. “Obviously.”

Eddie felt a hint of anger in his body, but he chose to simply ignore her.

”Here,” she suddenly blurted. “Drink this.”

Eddie moved his eyes back up, seeing a red cup being held right in front of his face.

”It’s vodka. But I snagged the fruity one for you. It suits you perfectly,” she said, making an obvious jab at his sexuality.

He rolled his eyes before eyeing the drink. He leaned forward slightly and sniffed it. However, he quickly shook his head and leaned back.

”N-no. It’s okay. I’m fine. I don’t want to get drunk. I’m a designated driver.”

Gretta groaned loudly.

“Shit, you’re worse than I thought, Kaspbrak. Do you seriously think you’re gonna get drunk off one cup that’s only halfway full? Just drink it,” she said, quickly losing her patience.

Eddie continued eyeing the drink for a few moments.

”You promise I won’t get drunk?” He asked softly, looking around at everyone around him, afraid that people were judging him.

He noticed Gretta’s eyes soften for a split second before they returned back to normal.

”Yeah. I promise, fairy.”

Eddie ignored the comment, before slowly reaching for the cup and lifting it to his mouth.

He took a sip, immediately feeling the harsh burn from the vodka. However, the fruitiness mixed in caused the burn to subside after a few seconds. It wasn’t good, but it also wasn’t terrible. He gagged slightly.

”Tastes good, doesn’t it?” Gretta asked, as she yanked the cup of water out of his hand and set it aside.

”Um. Sort of, I guess.”

She snorted again.

”Now, why don’t you go out there and dance?”

Eddie quickly shook his head at the suggestion.

”Oh, um, I don’t dance.”

Gretta rolled her eyes for what seemed like the millionth time.

”Who the fuck cares, princess? Look at those people dancing. They all look like idiots. But who cares? They’re at least having fun,” she said while glaring at him.

Eddie watched all the party goers on the dance floor. They did look ridiculous, drunkenly stumbling around and grinding on each other. But they really did look like they were having the time of their lives.

Beverly suddenly turned and made eye contact with him, enthusastically waving him over to come join she and Ben.

Eddie finally stood up from the couch and gulped the rest of his drink before giving the now empty cup back to Gretta.

”Um. Thanks...” 

Gretta huffed but didn’t look too mad.

”Whatever. Don’t start thinking we’re friends or something. Tell anyone about this, and you’re dead. Got it?”

Eddie nodded and gave her a small smile before walking to the dance floor cautiously.

He was afraid that some of the kids were gonna turn and look at him and immediately start laughing at him. But that didn’t happen. Everyone just kept dancing and enjoying themselves.

Gretta was right. Even though they looked silly, at least they were having fun. Even though Eddie hasn’t gotten to talk to Richie like he was hoping, he could still have some fun. 

So he let himself he pulled into Beverly’s arms. He let himself laugh and smile and twirl. He felt himself get lost in the music for a while, not caring about anything else in the world.

Suddenly, Eddie felt a hand on his shoulder.

He stopped dancing and turned around, momentarily forgetting how to breathe when he came face to face with none other than Richie.

”Richie,” he breathed.

”Eddie! I’m so glad you’re here. You look great!”

Eddie felt his entire face flush at the compliment. 

“T-thanks. You do too. Uh. Look great, I mean. You look great too.”

Richie smirked and winked at him.

”Yeah. I do, don’t I?” He teased.

Eddie was having trouble with remembering how to correctly breathe. Richie looked too good when he winks and smirks.

Shit, Eddie is whipped.

”Anyways, I just wanted to let you know that I’m - “

Richie was interrupted by an all too obnoxiously familiar high pitched voice.

”Spin the bottle! Let’s play spin the bottle everyone!”

There was a chorus of whoops and cheers from around the room and everyone began forming a circle on the floor.

Eddie froze up and began backing away slowly from the crowd. There’s no way he’s staying for that game.

Richie, who had his attention turned to the crowd, seemed to notice Eddie backing away, so he quickly followed, his eyebrows knitting together in concern.

”Hey, wait. Aren’t you playing, Eddie?”

Eddie tried to smile politely while shaking his head.

”Um, no. I think it’s time I head home.”

Beverly walked up to the two of them and seemed to sense Eddie’s discomfort.

”Hey, why don’t we just sit down and see how the game goes for a little? There are a lot of people here. The chances of the bottle landing on you are small. Besides, you don’t even have to play if you don’t want. They can’t force you,” she said comfortingly.

Richie nodded in agreement.

”Yeah, Eddie. I want you to stay a little longer. Trust me, you don’t have to play if you don’t want to. But at least sit down for a little while?”

Richie was actually looking at him with eyes full of hope. Eddie could’ve died a happy man in that moment.

”Okay.”

Beverly and Richie grinned at him and they sat down.

Eddie sat in between Beverly and Stan as Richie walked to another part of the circle and sat next to Heather, who kept whining for him.

Stan grinned at Eddie and patted his back. Eddie grinned weakly in return.

The game began and Eddie watched kids drunkenly kiss each other for a while. It really wasn’t entertaining at all. He didn’t understand what was supposed to be fun about the game. The only way the game would be fun if he spun the bottle and it lands on Richie.

However, he pushed that thought away when he saw Richie’s arm wrapped loosely around Heather’s shoulders. Heather was snuggled into his side.

The game continued on for a little while longer and then suddenly it was Beverly’s turn to spin the bottle. 

The bottle landed on none other than Ben. 

Eddie grinned as he saw both Beverly and Ben begin blushing. They leaned forwards and pecked each other on the lips. They pulled back, both sporting matching grins.

Beverly turned her head to look at Eddie.

”Your turn, Eddie.”

Eddie began freaking out. He had never even kissed anyone. He didn’t want his first kiss to be like this. However, he glanced around him and saw everyone staring at him expectantly. He heard a few snickers and whispers when he didn’t move.

He finally reached forward and spun the bottle. 

The bottle seemed to spin for ages. Eddie was afraid of who it would land on. Or who it wouldn’t land on. 

The few seconds the bottle was spinning felt like decades. Finally, Eddie noticed the bottle slowing to a stop. 

Right on Richie.

Eddie’s heart stopped. This can’t be happening. There’s no possible way it landed on him. There’s no fucking way.

However, Eddie heard the cheers around him and he saw Richie actually crawl to the center of the room, his eyes right on him.

“Get over here,” Richie said softly with a genuine smile.

Eddie felt his body move on his own accord. He didn’t even know what to do first in this kind of situation. Where did he put his hands? When did he close his eyes? However, he felt Richie put a hand on the back of his neck, and the other on his shoulder, applying a bit of pressure on it. 

Eddie put his hands on the same spots on Richie and in just a few seconds, Richie was suddenly leaning in the rest of the ways and pressing their lips together slowly.

Eddie went completely tense the second their lips touched. He was having a mental breakdown. What did he do now? The guy of his dreams was actually kissing him right now and he didn’t even know how to kiss. What the fuck? What the actual fuck is his life?

Eddie felt Richie move his lips, so he did his best to mirror the actions with his own lips, deepening the kiss. 

He felt Richie’s hand on the back of his neck, nestle into his hair and Eddie shivered. He ever so slightly brushed his fingers across Richie’s curls and couldn’t help but notice how soft they were. 

Richie pushed into the kiss a little more, and Eddie finally came to the conclusion that kissing Richie was now one of his favorite things. It felt amazing. It was warm, and safe and fuzzy. Eddie could kiss him forever.

However, Richie finally pulled back and ended their kiss. 

Everyone cheered for the two of them again and Richie grinned lazily at him before going back to his spot next to Heather.

Eddie quickly leaned back into his own spot and the game continued on like normal. No one paid any more mind to him or his kiss with Richie.

Eddie suddenly realized that he just had his first kiss. With Richie. But only because he had to spin a bottle and it landed on Richie. They kissed in front of a bunch of drunk teenagers for a game. Not because Richie actually wanted to kiss him. He was just following the rules of the game. 

The thought absolutely shattered Eddie’s heart and he felt his chest tighten.

He glanced up and was shocked to see Richie staring straight at him, his face full of concern.

Eddie realized that Richie must’ve been watching him ever since their kiss ended.

Eddie ignored his stare. He instead decided to focus on the game, not looking once more in Richie’s direction.

* * *

The party was finally ending.

Everyone had pretty much left or was completely passed out on the floor.

Eddie slowly stepped across the room, trying not to step on anyone or anything.

Once he was almost at the front door, a voice stopped him.

”You going home, Eddie?”

Eddie turned and saw a beautiful Richie right behind him, watching him with a small smile.

Eddie faltered for a second but quickly nodded.

”Yes. I just um, have you seen Beverly?”

He couldn’t leave without her, they came in her car.

Richie scanned the room before he seemed to remember something.

”Yeah, I think she passed out in the bathroom. I don’t think she’ll be driving home tonight,” Richie chuckled.

Eddie sighed.

”I guess I could call my mother to come get me,” he started but Richie cut him off.

”You can just stay here for the night. No need in making your mom come out this late. Come on, I don’t want you to have to worry about getting home tonight. Just stay the night on the couch and you can leave first thing when you wake up, if you’d like.”

Eddie pondered his option for a few seconds. Richie was right. His mom would be absolutely pissed if she had to come pick him up from a rowdy house party this late at night.

Eddie finally made up his mind.

”Yeah, okay. Thank you, Richie.”

Richie grinned and nodded.

”No problem, cutie.”

Eddie’s eyes widened at the comment. It had to be the alcohol talking. There’s no other way Richie would ever say that to him. 

Eddie quietly toed off his shoes and left them by the front door, before going back to the couch to lay down.

Richie stayed in the room, silent. Just watching him.

”So, first kiss tonight?”

Eddie automatically squeezed his eyes shut at the thought.

”Was it that obvious?”

Richie shook his head.

”No, of course not! You just seemed really nervous, that’s all. Trust me, I wouldn’t have been able to tell otherwise,” Richie said.

Eddie’s chest felt like it was going to explode. Richie was standing in front of him just casually discussing their kiss as if he was talking about the weather.

”Oh,” Eddie said, too nervous to say anything else.

”I’m sorry your first kiss had to be that way,” Richie suddenly said.

Eddie took a chance and looked right at him. He had his arms crossed and he looked a bit guilty.

”No! No, it’s fine, really. That’s okay. I don’t mind at all.”

Eddie would’ve smacked himself in the face if Richie wasn’t there. He sounded like an idiot.

Richie huffed out a laugh.

”If you’re sure.”

Silence fell over the two of them and it was quickly becoming awkward.

”Can I ask you something? And you have to swear to answer it completely honest.”

Eddie couldn’t believe Richie was still here talking to him. What kind of question did Richie want to ask him?

”Sure. What is it?” Eddie whispered.

Richie stared at him intently for a few seconds before finally speaking.

”If I offered you a second chance at a first kiss, would you take it?”

Eddie scrunched his eyebrows together.

”U-um, I’m a little confused. Who would I be kissing?”

”Me.”

Eddie inhaled sharply in shock. What? What was going on? 

Richie seemed to notice his uneasiness.

”Look. Everyone deserves to have a good first kiss. One that they actually enjoy, not one that’s in front of a bunch of drunk kids for a game. I’m just - I’m just saying that I could kiss you again. If you want. While it’s just the two of us. Just so it can be better for you.”

Eddie’s eyes had wideneded more and more during Richie’s speech and by this point, they were as big as saucers. 

“Why would you want to do that for me?” Eddie finally asked.

Richie shrugged.

”Because you deserve it,” he said simply.

Eddie let out a long breath.

”Um. I don’t really, uh. I don’t really know what to say.”

”You don’t have to say yes if you don’t want to,” Richie quickly explained. “I just.  I thought it’d be okay to ask though.”

Eddie couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

”But, what’s in this for you?”

”As long as I get to help you out, that’s all that matters,” Richie said warmly.

What did this night turn out to be? Eddie went from being alone and bored to slightly tipsy, kissing Richie, and now getting offered to be kissed again by him. 

However, he thought of how good it felt to kiss Richie. He still didn’t completely understand why Richie was offering to help him, but he decided it’d be best to stop questioning him about it. 

“O-okay.”

Richie’s eyes seemed to light up.

”Yeah? Are you sure? We really don’t have to if you don’t want -“

”I want to,” Eddie cut in, sounding way too needy and enthusiastic about all this.

Richie smiled and then walked towards Eddie until there were only a couple inches in between them.

”Okay,” Richie whispered, as he stared down at Eddie.

This time, there was no slow lean in, no anticipation. 

Richie suddenly moved forwards and captured Eddie’s lips with his in one second.

Eddie closed his eyes and tried to ignore the fact that the boy he was crazy about was currently kissing him not the first time, but the second time in one night.

Richie instinctively put his hands on Eddie’s shoulders and pulled him in slightly.

Eddie stumbled forwards and caught himself by putting his hands on Richie’s hips.

He wasn’t even sure if he should be touching Richie like this, so he began to move his hands elsewhere but suddenly, Richie pulled back from the kiss and stared down at Eddie.

His eyes were clouded over, Eddie noticed. Richie breathed in and out deeply for a few seconds before speaking.

”Lie down on the couch, Eddie.”

Eddie’s eyes widened for a second but he quickly followed. He laid on the couch, on his back, staring up at Richie, who was staring down at him before nodding quickly.

”Yeah. Yeah, just like that,” he said before he joined Eddie on the couch. He climbed on top of Eddie but held himself up with his hands on either side of Eddie’s face.

”Eddie,” he whispered softly before surging forwards and kissing Eddie. 

This time, he wasn’t holding back. He kissed Eddie fast and hard, and Eddie could only do his best to keep up with him.

Eddie gasped when he felt one of Richie’s huge hands cup the side of his face.

Richie’s tongue suddenly dipped into his mouth and Eddie let out an embarrassing whimper at the feeling. 

Richie detached his lips from Eddie’s but didn’t stop. He began kissing Eddie’s jaw, all the way down to his neck and back up.

Eddie’s hands immediately shot up to grip Richie’s curls, running his fingers through them gently.

He has dreamed of doing this so many times and now it was actually happening. Eddie was in pure bliss.

Richie kissed him again and this time, Eddie opened his mouth willingly and let their tongues explore each other’s mouths.

Eddie knew that Richie was drunk. Monday morning, they would be back to hardly speaking. Monday morning, Richie would be back in Heather’s arms and Eddie would be lonely again.

The thought devastated him, but he allowed himself to live in his fantasy for a while. He allowed him to kiss and be kissed by Richie for a while, not caring about the consequences or aftermath.

Richie’s hands ran down Eddie’s sides, stopping at his waist and squeezing. The feeling made Eddie lose all train of thought and he whined. He felt himself begin to harden.

Suddenly, Richie tore his lips from Eddie’s and jumped off of him. He took off down the hallways towards the bedrooms.

Eddie immediately sat up in shock and bewilderment. Oh my god. Richie probably felt his hard on and ran off. Eddie began freaking out. Richie was not going to come back and he definitely wouldn’t talk to Eddie anymore.

However, Richie suddenly emerged into the room again, looking a bit apologetic.

”I’m sorry. I thought I heard someone coming down the hall. I had to go check.”

Eddie shakily nodded his head.

Richie stared at him for a few moments, his pupils blown and his hair more wild than usual. His lips were red and swollen. Eddie was blown away by how attractive the boy was.

”Well, I guess I’ll let you uh, get some sleep. Goodnight, Eddie. If I don’t see you in the morning, I’ll see you Monday,” he said politely. 

Eddie nodded again. He couldn’t even form words right now.

Richie suddenly reached a hand forward and gently brushed Eddie’s cheek with the pads of his fingers. The action was so small but intimate. Eddie closed his eyes at the feeling.

”Beautiful,” Richie said, barely above a whisper.

The hand was suddenly gone and by the time Eddie opened his eyes again, Richie was gone too.

Eddie stared at the spot where Richie was just standing and gently cupped his own cheek, feeling it tingling. Richie was probably going to go curl up next to Heather, and kiss her and cuddle with her. All while Eddie stayed by himself on a hard couch.

Damn. Eddie was fucked.

He laid back down on the couch and closed his eyes, allowing himself to fall asleep into a night full of dreams about a boy with wild curls and a gorgeous smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you have it!! What did you guys think? Feel free to let me know! :) thanks! Next chapter coming very soon.


	3. You Don’t Know Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellloooo! I’ve got a brand new chapter for you all! I’ll be creating a playlist for this story too. It’ll have some pretty dope songs on it. Anyways, I really hope you enjoy this chapter! And again, thank you so so so much for the feedback. It seriously makes me so happy, knowing you all are enjoying this story. Happy reading! :)

It has been about a month since the party. A month since Eddie not only kissed, but  _made out_ with the boy he was head over heels for.

Eddie was hoping that when he returned to school after the party, Richie would profess his love to him in front of everyone and they could be boyfriends and live happily ever after.

But unfortunately, real life seemed to just smack Eddie in the face whenever something good began to happen to him. 

When he returned to school that Monday after the party, things were pretty much back to normal.

No one really remembered anything that happened at the party, since they had all been too drunk. Eddie was grateful for that. At least he didn’t have to worry about anyone giving him shit for kissing the most popular guy in the school during spin the bottle.

Howeber, one sad fact is that Eddie and Richie pretty much went back to normal too.

Sure, Richie remained himself around Eddie at all times, politely greeting him and smiling, but not once, did he ever mention the party or their kisses.

What could Eddie really expect though? Could he really expect Richie to just casually mention how they drunkenly made out, as if it was as simple as pie?

But it still hurt Eddie. It almost seemed as if Richie wanted nothing to do with the events of the party anymore. Like it was so easy for him to forget about it and move on and pretend as if nothing ever happened.

For Eddie, it was the complete opposite. He thought about it every single day. How he wishes he could just kiss and hold Richie whenever he wanted to. To make matters worse, he had to keep all of that to himself. He never told Beverly about what happened that night when everyone was passed out. It’s not that he didn’t trust her or anything, it’s just that this is something he doesn’t even know how to begin to explain.

Every day, Eddie had to watch Richie be the perfect boyfriend to Heather. He couldn’t stand seeing them together. Since the party, Richie didn’t care nearly as much about PDA as he did before. Sometimes, he would kiss Heather way too hard and long in front of everybody. Almost as if he was trying to prove a point. Like he was trying to prove how straight he was.

The thought made Eddie’s blood boil. Again, he wasn’t expecting Richie to just jump into his arms, but how could he just play with Eddie’s feelings like that and then act as if nothing happened between them?

Sometimes, Eddie would get random texts from Richie too. Somehow, Richie got his number from somebody and would sometimes text him.

At first, it made Eddie so happy to be getting texts from Richie. But very soon, he would get annoyed because Richie would send him texts like, ‘I don’t see you much anymore! We should hang soon!’ but then he would never make an actual effort to make plans. 

He would send friendly texts and then treat Eddie like he was nothing more than an acquaintance in person. It pissed Eddie off to no end.

He knew he needed to get over this. Richie would never like him back. He couldn’t keep letting himself feel so much for someone who probably doesn’t ever even think of him.

* * *

 Beverly and Eddie were nestled into a sofa at a nearby Starbucks. They were sipping their drinks and conversing about anything and everything.

”I’m serious. Cyndi Lauper is way better than Madonna. In every way. Better songs, better fashion, better personality. Trust me on this one, Eddie.”

Eddie snickered and shrugged.

”I don’t know. Vogue is a damn catchy song.”

Beverly rolled her eyes.

”Yeah, yeah,” she grumbled. “But Cyndi Lauper - “

The bell from the entrance dinged and Beverly and Eddie turned their heads to see Bill, Stan, Richie, and Heather walk in together.

Of fucking course.

Eddie couldn’t take his eyes off of Richie. He looked so damn good. The four of them walked up to the front counter and ordered one by one.

They moved to a table not too far from where Eddie and Beverly were seated. Eddie could hear them chatting and laughing with each other.

”Don’t pay any mind to him, Eddie.”

Eddie turned to see Beverly giving him a pointed look, knowing exactly what he was thinking. Damn, she was good.

Eddie nodded slowly but turned his head back to the four teens when he heard Heather’s shrill voice.

”Rich, you look so good today. So good, baby,” she said suggestively.

Eddie watched as Richie smiled, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Suddenly, Richie moved his eyes from Heather’s and somehow made direct eye contact with Eddie.

Eddie’s breath hitched. Richie’s eyes widened and he faltered for a second, completely thrown off. However, after a few moments, his jaw set and his eyes returned back to normal.

He suddenly grabbed Heather’s face and pulled her in for a kiss. Eddie’s heart dropped as he watched the two of them.

He felt both sadness and anger boil up inside of him. Richie literally just made eye contact with him and then proceeded to kiss his girlfriend right in front of him.

It was like he was smacking Eddie in the face. Like he was telling Eddie that he would never be gay like he is. 

Finally the two separated, and Eddie heard Richie murmur that he needed to use the restroom. He disappeared after a few seconds.

Eddie shook his head, breathing heavily. He was beyond angry now.

”I’ll be right back, Bev. I need to wash my hands.”

Beverly simply nodded while playing around on her phone. She wasn’t even paying attention to what just happened.

Eddie rushed to the restroom and shoved the door open. He found Richie leaning against a sink and rubbing his face with his hands. Richie immediately turned at the sound of Eddie barging in, quickly replacing his tired face with a small grin.

”Oh, hey Eddie. I didn’t know you were here.”

”Bullshit,” Eddie spat.

Richie flinched at his tone.

”What are you talking about?” Richie asked, feigning innoncence.

”You know exactly what I’m talking about Rich,” Eddie said, purposely using the nickname he just heard Heather say.

Richie wouldn’t drop the act. He simply eyed Eddie curiously, not wanting to give in and admit something was wrong. Finally, Eddie snapped.

”What the fuck is your problem? What is wrong with you?” Eddie shouted, glad no one else was in the restroom with them.

Richie narrowed his eyes.

”What do you mean, what is my problem?”

”Why have you been acting weird with me ever since the party? You text me, saying we should hang out, but never actually try making plans. You greet me in public at school but never actually have any type of conversation with me, even though you say we’re friends. You keep making out with Heather in front of me as if you’re trying to make a point! I get it. What happened at the party won’t happen again. You don’t have to keep reminding me by sucking face with Heather anytime I’m around. You’re straight, I’m gay, and that’s that. Do you think I’m obsessed with you or something? Or are you afraid that I’m going to infect you or something? Do you think I’m trying to make you gay too? Are you finally believeing the rumors everyone says about me? That I’m just some fag who’ll go for any guy and -“

”Enough!” Richie suddenly shouted, his face red with anger.

Eddie snapped his mouth shut, shocked by Richie’s sudden outburst.

”Just - just stop it! Stop it, Eddie.”

”Oh, now that you know I’m right, I’m suddenly the bad guy?” Eddie shouted back.

Richie groaned.

”I didn’t say that. Look, can we just. Can we not have this conversation right now? I’m not in the mood,” Richie said tiredly.

He must’ve been telling the truth. He looked exhausted. His eyes had deep bags under them and his skin seemed a lot more pale than usual. Eddie almost felt bad, but he was still too angry.

”No! We’re talking about this right now because I know that if we walk out of this bathroom and go our separate ways again, it will never be solved. So we’re doing this now. Just tell me what the fuck is wrong, Richie. What did I do? Just tell me what to say and I’ll say - “

”It’s not you, okay?” Richie said in a frustrated tone.

”What?”

”It’s not you,” Richie said quietly. “How I’ve been acting has nothing to do with you at all, I promise. You haven’t done anything wrong...it’s just that....Um. Well, it’s just that....look, I can’t do this right now,” Richie said before shoving past Eddie and exiting the restroom.

Eddie let him go.

Once again, he was left in the silence all on his own.

* * *

 “A gay bar? Are you kidding me, Bev?”

Beverly giggled.

”What? I think it’d be fun!” 

“You’re not even gay!”

”So? I can still dance and have fun.”

”Surrounded by a bunch of gay men?”

”What’s the harm in dancing with some gay men? At least I won’t have to worry about anyone being creepy with me,” she shrugged.

Eddie huffed.

”A gay bar. You actually think I’m going to a gay bar?”

”I don’t think. I know. We’re going tonight. I already got us fake ID’s.”

Eddie shook his head.

”Nope. No way, Bev. You’re not convincing me this time. No. Nope.”

* * *

 “I can’t believe you convinced me to come to a gay bar,” Eddie said as he and Beverly entered the bar that night.

Beverly grinned. 

“You know how good I am with persuading.”

Eddie chuckled and took in the sight around him. The first thing he noticed were all the men obviously. There were tons, but most of them looked a bit too old for Eddie, which immediately put him off.

”Come on, let’s go get a drink,” Beverly said.

They both walked to the bar and a middle aged woman with a name tag reading Rosie, smiled at the two.

”Welcome in. What can I get you two?” 

Eddie let Beverly take over. As she ordered, he slowly scanned the room and took in his surroundings. Most of the people in the bar were on the dance floor, suggestively dancing with each other. Eddie gulped nervously at the sight.

A glass was suddenly put in front of him.

”There you go, sexy,” Rosie said with a wink.

”Don’t worry. You’ll like this drink. It’ll help calm your nerves,” Beverly said.

He raised the glass to his lips and took a sip. He raises his eyebrows, shocked at how decent the drink actually was. Beverly was right. He could already feel his chest begin to loosen up a bit as he swallowed the drink down.

”You come here looking for a boyfriend?” Rosie asked.

Eddie shrugged his shoulders and blushed.

”I-I don’t really know. That would be nice and all, but I don’t really know if the type of guy I’m looking for would be here.”

Rosie hummed.

”Yeah, most of these men are too old for you. There is some young hot meat like yourself around here every now and then though. I’m sure you’ll see a few tonight if you keep your eyes open.”

Eddie gave her a small smile and nodded.

”I’ll do my best. Thanks, Rosie.”

”I will tell you this, honey. One of my regulars, Todd, hasn’t been able to take his eyes off of you since you entered this damn bar,” she said with a grin. 

She cocked her head to the side and Eddie looked in that direction. A man, who looked to be about in his early thirties grinned at Eddie and waved.

”See? Told you. He wants to buy you a drink. Don’t worry, he won’t do anything to you. He’s a sweet guy.”

Eddie gulped and nodded. Beverly nudged him with her shoulder and smirked.

”Well, look at you. Already getting yourself some drinks bought for you by other men. Go say hi.”

Eddie slowly nodded and made his way over to the other side of the bar where Todd was sitting.

”Hi,” Todd said, extending his hand. “I’m Todd.”

Eddie shook his hand slowly.

”Eddie.”

”Eddie. What brings your cute face around here?”

Eddie blushed slightly.

”My friend dragged me here. She thinks it will do me some good.”

Todd snorted.

”If you’re here to have some fun, then yes, it’ll do you some good. But if you’re here to find your Prince Charming, the chances are a lot slimmer.”

Eddie shook his head.

”No. I’m not looking for anything like that. I guess I’m just here to see what it’s like? H-how old are you if you don’t mind me asking?”

Todd grinned.

”Too old for you, cupcake. So you seen anyone cute yet? Other than me of course.”

Eddie laughed and shrugged.

”I haven’t really seen anyone around my age, unfortunately.”

Todd nodded in understandment.

”Yeah, there aren’t usually that many younger guys here. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t any at all. I see some come in on certain nights. Not sure if tonight is one of those nights though.”

Eddie nodded.

”Oh well. At least I’m taking my mind off of some...stuff while I’m here.”

”Uh oh. Trouble in gay paradise?”

Eddie stared down at his drink and oddly felt like he could completely trust Todd.

”There’s this straight guy who goes to my school. I’m completely head over heels for him and last month at a party, we kissed during spin the bottle,” Eddie began.

”Nice. Did you have sex afterwards?”

Eddie laughed again and shook his head.

”No. But when the party ended he said that he could kiss me a second time just so I could have a better first kiss. Then we basically made out for a while. Now he acts as if nothing happened and he keeps making out with his girlfriend right in front of me every chance he gets. I hate it,” Eddie finished.

”Ah,” Todd nodded. “Classic case of the closeted gay.”

Eddie choked on his drink.

”You think he’s gay?”

Todd gave him an ‘are you kidding me?’ look.

”Well, duh. He offered to kiss you so you could have a better first kiss experience? Honey, that’s bullshit and you know it. He was just looking for some excuse to get into your pants. But now that he realizes he’s totally into you, he’s trying to hide it by ignoring you and being way too in love with his girlfriend all of a sudden. He wants you, he just doesn’t want to admit it. If you want to wait for him to finally man up and come out of the closet, do it. It’ll mean a lot to him when he’s ready. However, your feelings matter too. Don’t feel like you have to keep waiting forever and ever. There are plenty of others out there who’d be more than happy to snatch you up.”

Eddie was speechless. What Todd was saying made complete sense, but Eddie couldn’t actually believe it. There’s no way Richie was actually into him. No way at all. 

Suddenly, Todd’s eyes lit up a bit.

”Eddie, look. A kid around your age just entered. He’s one of the ones who’s been coming around a bit more often lately. He’s cute. Just like you. Maybe you can get his number. Or his dick. Depending on whichever you’re particularly feeling like getting,” Todd said as he pointed behind Eddie.

Eddie turned his head and couldn’t see any young guy anywhere.

”What? Where? I don’t see anyone my age.”

Todd pointed again.

”There! Right there! With the black leather jacket on!”

Eddie finally saw a black leather jacket and - 

Oh. 

Fuck.

Richie fucking Tozier was walking to the dance floor, sporting an all black outfit. He looked hot as hell. But Eddie couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

Richie was here. In the same place as Eddie. At a fucking gay bar. Not only was he here, but he was also on the dance floor, in between two other men who were grinding up against him.

Eddie’s mouth dropped open. 

“Why do you look like that? Do you know him or something?” Todd asked.

”T-that’s. That’s the. The boy. The one who - “

Todd gasped.

”No way! He’s the closet case?” Todd asked in a shocked voice.

Eddie didn’t have the voice to answer so he simply mumbled, “It’s him.”

All the emotions Eddie has been feeling over the past months came rushing up and something in him snapped. He stood up and stared down Richie, who still had no idea Eddie was there.

Todd seemed to know exactly what he was going to do. He grabbed Eddie’s drink out of his hand and set it down.

”Go get em’, tiger,” he smirked.

Eddie nodded, determined.

He made his way to the dance floor, squeezing through lots of sweaty bodies before he finally reached Richie and the two men he was dancing with.

Richie was paying no mind to anything around him. He had his eyes squeezed shut as he danced.

Eddie easily slid in behind Richie, causing the man who was just there to turn away and begin dancing with someone else.

He gripped Richie’s hips in his hands and squeezed.

Richie’s head fell back and landed on his shoulder. He still had his eyes shut so he had no idea’s who’s shoulder his head was laying on.

Eddie leaned his face down and let his lips brush down Richie’s neck and back up. He had no idea where this new found confidence was coming from.

He heard Richie let out a breathy sound, causing Eddie’s eyes begin to cloud over with lust.

Finally, he spoke.

”Now, what would Heather think if she saw you here?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo what did y’all think? Let me knoooooow!!! New chapter coming soon! :)


	4. Nasty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooooo!! How are you guys doing? It's officially December! My Christmas break will be coming up very soon, meaning I'll be able to write way more and definitely get a lot more of this story out for you guys. Seriously, you all have no idea how much your love and feedback for this story means to me. I appreciate the comments and kudos more than you'll ever know, so thank you so much. Here's a brand new chapter for you all. I really hope you all enjoy it! Happy reading!

The music continued to play around them, but Eddie felt Richie go completely rigid in his arms in seconds. Richie grabbed Eddie's hands off his hips and whirled around, his eyes going comically wide when he finally saw who exactly caught him.

Time seemed to slow down as they stared the other down in the middle of the dance floor, everyone else continuing to dance and have fun all around them.

"Eddie," Richie said, his voice low and gravely. "W-what are you doing here?"

Eddie snorted.

"Well, in case you didn't notice. I'm gay," he said as he gestured to the rainbow flag hanging on one of the walls.

Richie stared at the flag for a few seconds, seeming to really take in exactly what that flag was representing.

"O-oh. Right."

Eddie quirked an eyebrow.

"I could be asking you the same question."

Eddie watched as Richie struggled to come up with what to say. However, suddenly, Richie's eyes travelled downwards, giving Eddie a complete once over. Once Richie's eyes made their way back up, they were foggy and dark, causing Eddie's entire body to flush.

"Look, I understand if you're all about being open to all sexualities, but I don't really know what your girlfriend would think if she found you here, grinding on other men in a gay bar," Eddie said flatly.

"I-I just -" Richie attempts to say, but can't quite get it out. He's biting his lip so hard, he could possibly even draw blood.

Eddie tries to focus on anything else other than his pink lips.

"Fuck," Richie swears, and squeezes his eyes shut.

"That's exactly what you'll be getting if you continue to dance this way with these men. They're staring at you like you're a piece of meat."

"I don't - I just-" Richie tries again. He is struggling far too much at coming up with an explanation.

Eddie sighs.

He can only come up with two reasonable explanations. One, Richie may just be here for a night of fun. For drinks, and dancing, and music. He might not even care that it's a gay bar. Two, Richie is here primarily because it's a gay bar, meaning he's questioning his own sexuality.

Eddie secretly hopes it's the latter.

He realizes that even though Richie has been a complete asshole the past month, they're still kind of friends, and Eddie doesn't want to make the boy suffer so much anymore.

"Do you want to go get a drink?" he asks the speechless boy.

"I - wait, what?" Richie asks dumbly.

"A drink," Eddie states. "You look like you're about to faint. Come on."

He reaches for Richie's hand and is sure to lace their fingers together to make sure he doesn't lose him in the crowd. His fingers are already tingling at the sensation of Richie's hand wrapped in his. He drags Richie through all the bodies quickly. Todd is still sitting at the bar when they arrive, but as soon he catches sight of Richie's expression, he winks at Eddie and heads off to the dance floor.

Rosie turns when she notices the two of them. She whistles low and long.

"Well, I'll be damned. Looks like luck was on your side tonight," she says with a smirk and a glimmer in her eyes.

"No," Eddie shakes his head. "He's just a uh...friend," he clarifies, hoping to spare Richie any embarrassment.

"Ah," Rosie says, though Eddie can tell she doesn't believe him at all. "Well, Todd bought you boys a round of drinks. Enjoy," she says as she slides two glasses in front of them.

"Thank you," Eddie says. He needs to leave a big tip for her before they leave.

Once she's gone and Richie and Eddie are alone, Eddie hops up onto one of the bar stools and gestures for Richie to do the same. As a new song begins to play over the speakers, Richie is sits right next to him and begins sipping his drink. They're both silent. Eddie isn't entirely sure how to start this conversation, so he focuses on his drink. He reaches for the cherry sitting in the glass, and pops it into his mouth. With a glance to Richie, he realizes that the boy has been watching his every move since they sat down. The thought stirs a burning heat low in his abdomen.

"You look - Or, um. I mean, - just - thank you," Richie stutters.

"It's the least I could do. I did just kind of pop up out of nowhere, I'm sorry I dragged you away from the dance floor. You looked like you were enjoying yourself," Eddie says, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

"Right. Yeah," Richie mumbles as he lowers his eyes and stares at his drink.

"....I mean, you were enjoying yourself, right?"

Richie sighed. "I don't - I just - God, I don't really know what you want me to say, Eddie," Richie says.

"Well, there's obviously some kind of story behind all this. But you seem really nervous so I won't ask you to talk about it if you don't want to. Besides, I was kind of an asshole to you the other day at Starbucks. I didn't mean to corner you like that. Well, I mean, I did. But I didn't know it was about - Unless, it's not about this. Either way, I'm really sorry for treating you like that."

"That's okay. I deserved a good bitching out for once," Richie says in a somber tone.

"No, you didn't."

"It's just - It's been a rough couple of weeks," Richie finally admits. "And yeah, it all has to do with this. Why I'm here."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Oh, okay."

Well, there went that. For a second, Eddie thought Richie might actually open up to him.

"Dance with me," Richie suddenly blurts.

"What?"

"Just- dance with me. I want to dance. I like to come here - and, and - I like to come here and dance and feel normal for a while, I guess."

"You feel normal when you're dancing with random men in a gay bar?" Eddie asks.

"I don't know. Maybe," Richie waves the question off. "But I don't want to dance with any of those men. I want to dance with you. So dance with me. Please?"

Richie actually looks desperate to forget himself for a while. There was no way Eddie could say no to him now unless he was actually stupid. So he stands up and finishes the rest of his drink in one go. He smiles at Richie encouragingly. Richie stands up and does the same with his drink. Richie smiles at Eddie gratefully. Eddie slides their fingers together again, and leads them to the dance floor.

A new song begins just as they finally reach the dance floor.

"Of fucking course," Richie groans, referring to the song choice.

"I quite like the song. A bit of a guilty pleasure," Eddie smiles.

Richie huffs out a laugh, and then suddenly, he runs his hands down Eddie's chest, beginning to twist his hips in time with the song.

Oh. Okay. The environment just switched between the two of them in seconds.

Richie grips Eddie's hips, his fingers digging into the flesh through his shirt. Eddie's head rolls back on his own accord, and his body seems to begin moving on its own. He allows Richie to guide their movements, to pull them flush together and begin moving the two of them to the beat of the song, thrusting and grinding.

It's so fucking hot in the bar. Eddie can feel the heat from Richie and all the dancing bodies around them radiating onto him.

And this song. Of course it's this song. A song all about being dirty, and sex, and bodies touching, and literally all the things Eddie has been dreaming about over the past month. Eddie feels completely drunk in a way that has nothing to do with the drinks he's been having over the course of the night. He knows that he'll never forget how Richie feels against him right now - all hot, and sweaty, and rhythmic. He'll never forget the way Richie's breath feels against his bared neck.

"Look at me," Richie suddenly demands. Eddie could almost faint at how deep and raspy Richie's voice was.

Eddie turns his head up and stares directly into Richie's eyes, completely blown away by the look on his face. Richie's eyes are huge, and dark, his pupils blown. His face is glistening with sweat, and his mouth is dropped open as he breathes heavily and deeply. As Eddie stares, the rest of the men in the bar seem to disappear and he can only focus on all things Richie. His arms, his eyes, his lips, his curls.

All of that suddenly comes to a halt when Richie twists him around, pressing his crotch firmly against Eddie's ass. Eddie gasps as he feels Richie's hands roam around his chest, while grinding hard into him.

And oh my god.

Richie is hard.

Jesus fucking christ. There's no way this could actually be real. Eddie had to have died and drifted off into heaven because there's absolutely no possible way this is really happening to him.

The song comes to an end. Eddie's heart drops. This is the end. He knows it. Richie is going to let go of him and break their moment. Then he'll walk out of the bar and forget anything between them ever happened again.

Except....he doesn't.

He clings on to Eddie, pressing completely against his back as he drags his lips up and down Eddie's neck.

"Please don't stop," Richie says against his neck.

So they don't stop. They dance through another song together. Eddie hasn't even heard this song before, but Richie's hips are more than willing to guide their movements together again. Eddie feels like he's on fire. He literally almost growls when Richie drags his fingers roughly down and back up Eddie's thigh. He had no idea Richie could move like this. He had no idea how raw Richie truly was on the dance floor. The thought made his insides engulf in flames.

They keep dancing even after that song ends. They dance through another, and another, and another. They dance until Eddie's mouth is completely dry and he can barely even breathe anymore.

But he never wants to stop. He doesn't want Richie to leave him, doesn't want Richie's hands to leave him. Not after this. They can't go back to normal after this. Eddie absolutely refuses it. Eddie's breath comes in short, stuttering gasps when Richie twists him around again, and presses his hard-on against his own through their too-tight jeans. He things he might pass out when Richie buries his sweaty face into the crook of his neck. They're both panting and desperate for a drink, but it doesn't matter because this matters between them. This moment matters, and will always matter.

"I-I need,"

"One more drink," Richie finishes for him.

Well, that's definitely not what Eddie was going to say, but it certainly works. This time, Richie grabs his hand and leads them back to the bar, not nearly as timid as he was a little under an hour ago. Rosie was already at the bar with two more drinks in front of her, wearing a shit eating grin. Eddie slides her forty dollars. They catch their breaths as they begin drinking.

The drink feels like heaven as it glides down Eddie's throat, and he can also feel Richie's knee lightly bumping against his.

"Well, you two certainly know how to put on quite the show."

Eddie turns his head to see Todd standing next to him, looking a lot more rumpled than he did before. His shirt was drenched with sweat, and his hair was wild, sticking up in all kinds of directions. He didn't smell like the cologne he was wearing earlier anymore either.

"Seems like you had a grand old time out there yourself," Eddie states with a smirk.

"Watching you two move the way you did out there is enough to get anyone going, gay or straight. Trust me," Todd says with a laugh, obviously unashamed of how forward he was being. "Looks like your night is turning out better than expected?"

"You could.....say that," Eddie says softly as his cuts his eyes towards Richie.

Fuck.

Richie looked utterly destroyed. Eddie gulped. He needed to stare at anything other than Richie. He really needed to cool off.

"Good," Todd says with a genuine smile. He lightly pats Eddie on the back. "Well, I'm off for the night. I have a feeling I'll be seeing you two around here again. Take care," he says before leaving the two boys on their own again.

Eddie admires Richie in peace. They continue drinking in silence. Eddie knows they need to talk about all of this, what all of this means. But he doesn't want to ruin their moment. He knows Richie will have to start this conversation. He wishes he could dance with Richie until he physically can't anymore, but he knows they need to talk.

"Let's go get some air," Richie says simply. He slides off the stool and waits patiently for Eddie to do the same.

"Okay."

* * *

 

It's extremely cold outside. Like, way too damn cold. Eddie and Richie head to the side of the building, where they're blocked by the harsh wind, but still able to be cooled off. Richie sinks to the ground with his back against the wall, his knees sliding up to his chest. He looks way more relaxed than Eddie was expecting, so he joins him, sitting right next to him. He waits for Richie to speak.

"This is the fifth time I've been here in the past two weeks," Richie says, eyes focused on the ground in front of them. He lets out a small chuckle. "It's weird. I'd never even heard of it. I had to search for gay bars in Derry on the internet."

"So you did know it was a gay bar?"

"Well, yeah," Richie answers. "That's kind of what I was aiming for."

"But, I - I just don't understand. You're dating Heather. You're happy with her. You're straight."

Richie shrugs. 

"I thought I was. I guess I was wrong," he says as if it's the most simple situation in the world.

"But...you've been dating her for two years!"

"And in those two years, I've never once felt for her what I felt for you when we kissed."

Eddie is stunned into silence. Is Richie talking about him specifically, or is he talking about boys in general? Either way, the news is good in Eddie's ears. However, he won't allow himself to jump to any conclusions. He can't let himself get too hopeful. He's been dreaming way too much lately. He has to let Richie continue to explain himself. He can't get caught up in any kind of trap again.

"Maybe I should start from the beginning," Richie says.

"I think that would be good," Eddie manages to reply in a weak voice.

Richie sighs and runs a hand through his wild curls.

"I've never had a girlfriend before Heather," Richie begins. "So when I had her in Math class sophomore year, and she just kind of threw herself at me, it was really weird for me at first. I wasn't used to that kind of attention. However, we started hanging out more. We went to the movies together, to the park, and she would even come to my house and listen to me play the guitar sometimes. It was....nice, I guess. She wasn't ever boring. We always had a good time when we were together. We actually have a lot in common when it comes to music, which is something that means a lot to me. Anyways, when she asked me to be her boyfriend, I figured it was kind of the next logical step in our relationship, so I said yes. I thought that's how it was supposed to go. You know? You meet someone, you begin getting along with them, you have things in common, why not date? I just thought the....other stuff would come later."

"So you weren't attracted to her from the start?" Eddie asks.

"I thought I was," Richie replies. "I thought she was really pretty when I first saw her. She is a beautiful girl, there's no denying that. But I guess I've never really been a fan of short skirts and tight tank tops and high heels. I once asked her why she never just wears jeans and tennis shoes and she said that she wouldn't feel feminine enough, which I thought was a bit ridiculous. We got into a fight about it, actually. She thought I was trying to control what she wore around people. But I apologized because I didn't want to seem like a controlling, or mean boyfriend, and pretty much, that was that. We were okay. But then one day, I saw you bend over to pick up a piece of paper off the floor that you had dropped and I almost lost my mind."

"Wait, w-what?" Eddie spluttered, unable to comprehend what he just heard.

"Okay, it's like this," Richie tries to explain. "For the longest time after I began dating her, I never let myself look at anybody else. I didn't really think that was polite, you know? I mean, I make crude jokes about people, but they're just jokes. I never actually mean them. Anyways, I never looked at anybody else because I told myself I didn't need to. Like, I have a girlfriend, why do I need to look at anyone else? I should only want to look at her. So I kind of just ignored everyone else and only paid attention to Heather. I was happy with her, so I only paid her any mind. But then - shit, but then you were wearing these tight ass pants one day and you bent down to pick up that paper. This is so embarrassing to admit, but I actually got hard from the sight. Right there in the middle of the fucking hallway. All because I was staring at your ass. But that was a while ago, probably during one of the first few weeks of this school year."

"Well, I do have a nice ass," Eddie tried to joke. He was trying to help Richie feel a little less humiliated, but he knew he wasn't of much help, because he was freaking out himself.

"You do, and that's exactly it. I kind of just....wrote it off. Even though I was totally turned on, I figured that an ass was an ass and that I would've had the same reaction if I saw Heather do the same thing. But then..I started noticing...other things about you."

"Oh god," Eddie groaned. "Do I even want to know what other things?"

"You've got really nice legs," Richie states. "Don't you know that? I always thought you knew that because you always wear such nice pants that compliment them."

"What? You think I'm strutting my stuff?" Eddie scoffs. "Yeah, right."

"That's what I always thought in my mind. And you've also..this is gonna sound weird, but you've got really great hands. And - and your lips, and your eyes are also amazing. You've got such big, brown eyes. They're gorgeous. And Jesus Christ, your hair. Your hair is a gift. Sometimes, I can't stop dreaming of running my hands through it. You're just - you're very pleasing to look at. And I mean that in a serious way."

"Wait. You started checking me out when you realized you weren't attracted to Heather in that way?" Eddie asks, confused.

"No. That's the thing. I didn't realize that my observations about you had anything to do with attraction. I just kind of figured that you were nice to look at. Just like Beverly is nice to look at, or Bill is nice to look at. Hell, even Gretta's kind of nice to look at. I just figured that if a person is pretty, there's no harm in looking at them. People are pretty. So I just....looked at you."

"I can't tell if I think that's creepy or not."

"I never meant to come off that way," Richie says, sounding apologetic. "I just couldn't help it. Still, I never thought there was anything really wrong with that. I just figured I was one of those straight guys who didn't have any problem with pointing out that other men were also attractive without wanting to fuck them."

"Wait, but what about when you and Heather have sex? I mean, that's gotta be at least a little awkward for you. Doesn't it make it more difficult to be intimate with her if you're not sexually attracted to her?"

Richie stared straight ahead for a few moments before finally answering.

"We've never had sex," he admits.

"......Oh."

"We've never gone past heavy making out and some groping every now and then. But that's another thing: she always touches me. And it was never life-changing either, just her rubbing me through my jeans. I've never put my hand between her legs though. Or under her shirt. I try to tell myself it's because I'm being a gentleman, but I know it's because I really don't want to touch her in that way. We tried to have sex once, though. But that's later in the story."

"Oh, okay. Well, carry on then. Sorry, I was just kind of confused."

"It's okay. So, anyways. I started looking at you and I started having.....pretty graphic dreams about you late at night. They were far from being clean too. It confused the hell out of me, because I never had those types of dreams about Heather and it was just weird, I guess. But I couldn't stop the dreams and I couldn't stop looking at you either. So, when I saw you in the hallway that one day and I helped you pick up your stuff, my motives on talking to you weren't exactly.....pure. I mean, it's not like I was going to try to get you alone and jump your bones, I just really wanted to....talk to you. Just so I could finally listen to you and look at you without it being weird."

"Wow. T-that's very nice, actually."

Eddie thinks he sees Richie's cheeks flush a bit, and he's pretty sure it has nothing to do with the cool wind. 

"Yeah," Richie says with a genuine grin. "And then you actually came to the fucking party."

"Wait, but I - I thought you invited me. I thought you wanted me to come?"

"Oh, I definitely did. I was gonna be ready to drag you there, I just didn't think you'd actually - and fuck, where did you find an outfit like that one you wore at that party? And - and your hair that night too. Also, were you wearing eyeliner? Because, fuck, you looked good in it. Like, it should be illegal to look that fucking good. I couldn't be around you without wanting to - fuck, without wanting to touch you and - god, everything. And then I saw you dancing with Beverly and I thought you looked so fucking cute, and then I stared at Heather, and, well, she just looked drunk."

"So, you were avoiding me at the party. I'll admit, I was pretty upset that you invited me and then I barely got to talk to you."

"I'm really sorry," Richie says and Eddie could tell that he meant it. "I wanted to spend the whole night with you. But, I just - I was drunk. I had already been drinking before you came, so I was afraid that if I was with you, I wouldn't have been able to keep my hands to myself. So I stayed on the other side of the room the whole time, until spin the bottle."

"Ah, yes."

"The kiss that definitely did not miss," Richie says. "You have to know this, Eddie. I didn't even know kissing could feel that good, you know? Like, I've kissed Heather plenty of times, and it was nice. It really was. Kissing in general is pretty great. But kissing you was outstanding. Kissing you was like I was having some kind of prayer answered from God."

"That's very profound," Eddie says softly, feeling warm and tingly inside. He has never in his life heard so many nice things about him in one conversation before.

"It was profound. It was like the sea parted, and you were standing there. Looking like you were made for me - just for me. So, when the party ended and we were alone, I couldn't fucking help myself. I really did want you to have a better first kiss, but mostly I just wanted to taste you again and see if I got that same feeling back."

"And did you?"

"Fuck yes," Richie whispered. "It was even better than the first kiss."

"Wow, that's -" 'really fucking amazing,' Eddie wants to say. "That definitely had to be confusing for you."

"It really was," Richie admits. "But it didn't really scare me like it would scare most guys. I had become used to the way I felt about you by that time. It just...wasn't that easy."

"Because of Heather."

"Because of her, and my parents, and because of the way those students at the school look at me like I'm some type of hero when I'm not. I'm just a misunderstood guy who doesn't know what he wants."

"But you know your friends wouldn't care. Bill, Stan, Mike, Ben. They wouldn't care."

"Yeah, but - I just, everyone expects so much out of me because I'm dating Heather Winstead of all people. Like I have to be this perfect king for her. It would totally throw my friends for a loop if I all of a sudden told them I wasn't even into chicks. Heather is also kind of queen bee around that stupid school."

"She wasn't before, though. She only started becoming popular when she started dating you. She was at the bottom of the food chain back then too, you know. Dating you is what made her popular. I'm sure she would understand."

"Not when I've been dating her for two whole years, though," Richie says, sounding frustrated. "She would think I was using her, like a beard or something. Like I was just using her to hide my real sexuality. I can't do that to her. I can't just break up with her and then start dating a guy all of a sudden. I'd get so much shit, and I just can't deal with that right now."

"I know," Eddie replies, placing his hand lightly on Richie's knee. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push. I'm not saying you should come out or anything, especially not while you're just starting to figure this all out by yourself."

"Yeah," Richie says quietly. "Thanks."

"You're welcome. Forget about that, though. You don't have to explain all of that to me if you're not ready. You still haven't told me why you've been coming to this bar, though."

"Right," Richie says as he leans his head back against the wall. "Can we sit in your car or something? It's fucking cold out here."

"Yeah, of course. Come on," Eddie says, grateful that he and Beverly came in his car tonight.

They both stand and push themselves away from the wall. As they walk, Richie's hand somehow finds its way into Eddie's. At first, Eddie's fingers tense but the gesture is so soft and sweet and Richie's palm is so smooth against his own, so he curls his fingers around Richie's and they continue walking in silence. Once they reach the car, Eddie is about to open the driver door, but he notices Richie climb into the back seat and gesture at him to do the same. So he simply walks around to the other side and climbs in the back right next to Richie.

Oh.

Well, okay.

Yeah, the back seat is definitely a lot nicer than the front.

Once they're settled into the warmth of the car, Richie scoots in closer to Eddie's side on the seat and places his hand on Eddie's denim-clad thigh, running random patterns on it. But then he falters, and snatches his hand up and away.

"Sorry," he apologizes quickly. "I just - I didn't know if that was too much, or - "

"It's okay," Eddie quickly replies, kindly. "I don't mind at all."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive," Eddie says, and he surprises himself when he grabs Richie's hand and guides it back to his own thigh. "You're okay."

It's really nice right now. Eddie decides that he likes this moment a lot. Sitting next to Richie in the back seat of his own car with Richie's hand running across his thigh. Most people don't like touching him, so it's nice to have the boy he's crazy about touching him so gently and kindly right now.

"I started coming here when Heather told me that we should start thinking about having sex," Richie suddenly explains.

"...I don't really follow," Eddie says, confused.

"She literally came up to me at school one day a few weeks ago and told me she was ready for it and that I should start thinking about it too."

"Really?" Eddie asks in shock.

"Yep. It freaked me out and we didn't bring it up again. But then a few days after that, she invited me over for dinner one night while her parents were out. She had candles and nice piano music - it was really nice and sweet. After dinner, she lit a fire and set up a bunch of blankets and pillows all over the floor and she said she wanted to go change, so I sat down and she went upstairs. I waited for....a long time."

"Were you nervous?"

"I was absolutely petrified," Richie admits. "Our relationship had never been about the physical stuff, despite what everyone at the school likes to think. I was pretty scared. Then she came down in this short night gown and it was pink and all frilly. Like, I'm sure it would've been better if she had just come down in a t-shirt and underwear, but that wasn't the case at all. She got on top of me and we started kissing and everything, and she started touching me and I could feel her tits on me but it just didn't feel right. Her perfume was all wrong and she was just too soft in some places, so I just - I panicked. That's what I did. I freaked out and said I wasn't ready for that yet. So then she started to cry and she kept asking me if it was something she did to me, but of course I told her it wasn't her fault at all. I just said I wasn't comfortable with moving so fast when all we had done in the past was kiss. I asked if we could wait a bit longer. She understood, I think. Or maybe she just wasn't ready either, I don't even know. But we ended up just watching movies all night and that was that."

"Oh....uh, wow..."

"I know. It was an utter disaster."

"I'm really sorry."

Richie shrugs.

"Nothing to apologize for. After that, though, I really started to consider the fact that I might be gay. I mean, after kissing you, I sort of suspected it, but I wasn't sure if I was actually gay or if it was just....you."

Eddie scrunched his eyebrows together.

"What do you mean?"

"To be completely honest, I wasn't sure if I was homosexual, or just....you-sexual. You're the only guy I had ever kissed, you know? So I wasn't sure if I was attracted to you because you were the one who made me realize I didn't like girls, or because it was you being you. And I really needed to find out, so I um - "

"Started looking around for gay bars," Eddie concludes for him, finally putting the puzzle piece together. "And you found this one."

"I came here for the first time a couple of weeks ago," Richie says. "It was definitely....something else. I had guys hitting on me left and right and I surprisingly didn't even feel weirded out by it. Mostly I just came to dance with them, and feel normal for once."

Eddie finds it funny that Richie was saying that, considering that was the exact same reason Eddie had decided to come here tonight with Beverly. To dance and have fun and feel....like he actually belonged somewhere for once.

"But you didn't let any of those men...you know," Eddie says awkwardly. "You didn't let them take you to the bathroom and, you know -"

"Oh, god no," Richie immediately responds, sounding terrified of that idea. "No, that never happened. I did let one guy kiss me, but nothing more than that."

"How old was he?" Eddie asks, incredulously, seriously hoping he wasn't talking about one of the many older men in the bar.

Richie began giggling, turning his face into Eddie's shoulder to muffle the sound. When he's done, he doesn't pull his head away. He simply turns his face, and allows his cheek to rest on Eddie's shoulder, his curls brushing Eddie's neck and chin.

"He was our age, don't worry," Richie explains. "He goes to a school nearby, but not in Derry. I think he was a bit of a more professional when it came to the gay bar scene. We danced for majority of the night, and when he leaned in to kiss me, I let him, because I needed to know."

"And what was the answer?" Eddie asks, hoping he doesn't sound to desperate for the answer he hopes to hear.

"Way better than kissing Heather, but still nowhere near kissing you."

Eddie can't help the grin that spreads across his entire face at this news. He can't help but turn his face and hide his smile in Richie's curls. He inhales deeply, closing his eyes when the scent of autumn, and just all around boy, fills his nose. He can't help but feel like this is all a dream so he tries not to feel so happy.

"I'm sorry if that freaks you out," Richie whispers.

"Oh my god," Eddie says, laughing loudly against the top of Richie's head. He rests his cheek there a few seconds later. "You have no idea how much that does not freak me out."

"Wait, really?"

"Richie," Eddie states. "I've had a huge crush on you since I first saw you. Like, a stupidly, huge crush on you. Hearing you tell me that you like kissing me more than anyone else does the complete opposite of freak me out."

Richie pulls away a few inches to stare into Eddie's eyes. His eyes are bright and wide, filled with hope and optimism. More optimism than Eddie has ever seen in a person.

"Are you being serious?"

"No, I like fucking with you," Eddie says sarcastically with a roll of his eyes. "Yes, I'm being serious. Shit, I must be really good at hiding it, or you're just blind."

Richie stares at him like he's an alien with two heads for a few seconds.

"I - I just - Oh, fuck it," Richie says before he's suddenly surging forward and pressing his lips hard against Eddie's. 

He wastes no time in shoving his tongue through Eddie's lips, running it all over the inside of his mouth. Eddie can only groan and hang on to Richie as much as he can. He kisses Richie back with a bruising force. Richie grips the side of Eddie's face hard, and he somehow deepens the kiss even more.

Eddie's having a hard time believing this is real. He can't completely think straight through the hazy cloud of lust in his brain. Eddie never gets the good things. He never gets the silver platter handed to him. He never gets the boy. But right now, he's got it all. Take that, Heather. But he can't keep thinking of these things right now, because Richie's biting and sucking at his bottom lip.

"I wanted to do this earlier," Richie breathes against his lips. "When we were dancing. I wanted to kiss you so hard. Until I couldn't see straight.

He slams his lips against Eddie's again before he has the chance to reply, kissing him with what seems like everything he has, and Eddie can do nothing but hold on to him. He grips Richie everywhere; his shoulders, his neck, his back, until Richie suddenly pushes him backwards, urging him down on his back.

"Is this okay?" Richie asks.

"Yes. God, yes. This is so okay," Eddie gasps, while his fingers get lost in Richie's hair.

"You are so fucking hot," Richie mumbles against Eddie's jaw where he begins pressing hot open-mouthed kisses against the skin.

Eddie whines, hips rocking up to meet Richie's all on their own. He can barely even control his own body right now. He's trembling and panting into the warm air of the car as if he just ran a marathon. He can't seem to stop his hands from exploring Richie's strong back. Eddie is harder than he was on the dance floor, and apparently Richie can feel it because he suddenly groans against Eddie's neck and thrusts down, their erections grinding together through their jeans.

"I never knew - shit, I never knew it could feel so good," Richie says as he continues to rock his hips down.

"Please, Richie. Please, don't stop," Eddie begs, already on the verge of coming completely apart in front of Richie. 

"Never, baby. Never, oh fuck," Richie replies, as his hips seem to work some kind of magic.

And Richie doesn't stop. He keeps moving, grinding, and dipping his tongue into Eddie's mouth as if he's trying to memorize the taste of him.

Eddie wrenches a leg up from where it's trapped between Richie's body and the back of the seat, wrapping it around Richie's back and digging the heel of his shoe into Richie's ass. 

Eddie knows the windows are completely fogged. He knows the car is rocking, and he knows that anyone who passes the car knows exactly what's going on inside of it. For some reason, that thought makes him even harder and he groans, long and low against Richie's lips.

"Fucking hell, the sounds you make, Eddie. I can't - "

"Come. I wanna see you come. Come with me, babe. Please."

"Shit. I, shit - " Richie exhales before he latches his lips back onto Eddie's like they're magnetic, and increases the speed of his hips.

Eddie is right on the edge of an orgasm, but tries to hold off from coming for a few more seconds, wanting to make this moment between them last as long as possible. He wants to remember the way Richie is ripping him apart from the inside out, because it's so damn good.

It's Richie who comes first. His hips stutter, but it's the way he moans Eddie's name one more time as loud as possible, that makes Eddie come only seconds after. Richie continues to ride out their orgasm for a few more seconds before finally slowing to a stop. Eddie feels like he's floating for a moment, but then Richie's body slumps on top of his, clearly exhausted. He pulls his lips away to rest his head on Eddie's shoulder. His breath is hot and quick near Eddie's ear.

"Fuck," Richie finally says. "I am so gay." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you all think? ;)))))))
> 
> By the way, the first song that Eddie and Richie danced to in the bar was Nasty by Pixie Lott. Hence the title of this chapter. :)


	5. Feels Like We Only Go Backwards

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! New chapter for you all because I love you all lots. Enjoy! Thanks for the feedback. I appreciate it greatly! :) happy reading!

They continued to lay there together, completely spent and exhausted.

Finally, Richie spoke.

"That was....amazing," he whispers.

Eddie grinned at the curly haired boy and felt nothing but adoration as Richie snuggled into him deeper with a content sigh.

"Yeah," Eddie whispers back. "Yeah, it really was."

Richie hums and closes his eyes, completely relaxing against Eddie's body.

"We should do this more often. Not just the mutual orgasm thing. I mean, actually hang out together. I like being with you, Eddie."

Eddie blushes at the comment. No one has ever told him that before.

"Uh...yeah," he finishes lamely.

Richie snorts.

"Well, that wasn't very enthusiastic," he teases.

Eddie sighs, staring down at the boy sadly. No matter how great their night together has been, he still couldn't help but acknowledge that annoying nagging feeling that kept shoving its way into his head.

"It's just.....well, your girlfriend. Heather won't - "

Richie sighs loudly, cutting him off.

"I know," he grumbles. "I know, Eddie. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize to me," Eddie reassures. "However, I think I need to remind you that what we just did was - "

"Super awesome?" Richie says with a lazy grin on his face.

"It was cheating," Eddie corrects him with a frown.

Richie's grin disappears and he slowly nods.

"Yeah, it is. I'm a terrible person," he suddenly says with a grimace.

"No, stop. Don't say that about yourself. You're not a terrible person. Look, you're just starting to figure all of this out by yourself. You can't help your feelings," Eddie says firmly.

"I-I just. I don't really know what to do about this. I'm not happy with Heather. But I can't just break up with her and let everyone know I'm gay. I wouldn't be able to make it through the rest of the school year if that happened. I would be eaten alive. All because hardly anyone in this stupid shit hole of a city can accept people like us," Richie says angrily.

_Us._

Eddie liked the sound of that.

"I know. I don't think you need to do any of that right now if you're not ready. Take your time. I'll always be here for you," Eddie says with a light blush.

Richie suddenly turns his head up to stare right into Eddie's eyes. He reaches a hand up to cup the side of his face, lightly brushing his thumb across Eddie's cheekbones.

"I know," Richie whispers as he continues to stare intently into Eddie's soul.

Eddie audibly gulps under his gaze. This moment felt so intimate. Too intimate for just two friends.

"I want us to be friends. Real friends," Richie suddenly blurts. "Like, we can hang out, right? Friends do that. We can get coffee or go see a movie, or even talk on the phone."

Eddie quickly smiles.

"Yeah! Of course we can hang out. As friends," he finishes. That last part makes Eddie's heart ache. He wishes they didn't have to be just friends. He wishes he could call Richie his boyfriend. But he can't. Not right now. Not while Richie is 'straight' and has a girlfriend, who he's been with for two years already. He'll just have to wait for Richie.

Richie's smile drops a hint, seeming to know what Eddie is thinking.

"I wish it didn't have to be like this," Richie says sadly.

"Me neither. But I'll wait for you," Eddie concludes.

Richie's face lights up.

"Really? You'd do that for me? Today must be my lucky day," he jokes.

Eddie chuckles.

"Yeah, I'd do that for you. I've waited for you for years. I think I can wait a little longer."

* * *

 Monday morning rolls around too quickly. Eddie is actually kind of nervous to return after everything that happened over the weekend.

He and Richie didn't really discuss how they'd act at school. Would they talk in the halls now? Would they sit with each other at lunch? Would they smile at each other more often now? Eddie wasn't really sure.

Guess he was about to find out.

* * *

 It was now the middle of the day and Eddie was pretty pissed off.

Richie was acting....the exact same as usual. But that's exactly what angered him.

Richie didn't change how he treated Eddie at all. He still politely greeted him in the hall, only to keep walking right past Eddie, even when the shorter boy stopped to try to start a conversation with him. He didn't even glance in Eddie's direction at lunch, even though Eddie was watching him like a hawk for most of the time. 

What the hell?

Eddie knew he couldn't be completely angry, because they hadn't discussed how things would work between them at school. But he was least expecting Richie to act at least a little bit different. After everything that happened. After everything they said to each other.

Eddie's heart felt like it was breaking all over again every time he had to see Richie and Heather kiss, or hug, or even just hold hands. He hated having to watch Richie smile at Heather, as if she was the most important person in the world to him.

All while Eddie was still ignored and all alone.

* * *

 It was now almost the last class of the day. Eddie had about five minutes before his last class, so he was quickly shoving some books into his locker, and pulling out a few new ones. It would only take him about thirty seconds to get to his class, but he liked to be early. One of the many things he took pride in.

As he continued shuffling his books around in his locker, he suddenly heard someone clearing their throat right next to him.

He snapped his eyes away from his books and comes face to face with Richie, who's staring at him with a sheepish grin.

"Hi, Eddie," he says as he awkwardly rubs the back of his neck.

Eddie can't help but melt at how cute the boy looks when he's shy. But he quickly reminds himself that he's supposed to be angry, so he quickly stands up straight and narrows his eyes slightly.

"Richie," is all he says in reply.

Richie stares at him for a few seconds, before sighing.

"Look, I know things between us aren't the easiest, but - "

"Babe!" 

Neither Richie or Eddie has a chance to react to the sudden call before Richie has an armful of Heather. She jumps into his arms and wraps her legs around his waist, while giggling loudly.

Eddie's stomach drops at the sight.

He quickly slams his locker shut, and is about to walk away, when he suddenly hears Richie speak.

"You know, Heather. Sometimes, you can just hug me instead of jumping into my arms."

Eddie freezes and he feels his own eyebrows shoot up.

Everyone in the hallway immediately silences at Richie's statement. Richie  _never_ denied his girlfriend in any way. This was new. And  _shocking._

Heather's mouth drops open and her eyes widen. She quickly unwinds her arms from around Richie and steps back. But then her eyes narrow and her face reddens.

"Fine," she hisses. "I'm so  _sorry_ for being excited to see my boyfriend. I mean, it's not like we didn't see each other all weekend. I'm terribly sorry for wanting to be close to you," she says.

Richie groans.

"I didn't say that," he weakly argues. "I just - I didn't mean it like that. Heather, please don't - "

"Jesus Christ. Grow a pair of balls, Tozier!" Greta Keane suddenly shouts from across the hallway.

Richie eyes her for a few seconds before rolling his eyes.

"Fuck off, Greta."

A few people made sounds of shock in the hallway. First, Richie is telling his own girlfriend to stop jumping into his arms, and now he's back talking Greta Keane of all people.

Greta suddenly stalks towards Richie silently, and everyone watches to see what she is about to do or say next.

However, she just smirks and shrugs her shoulders.

"That's better," she simply says before she continues walking down the hall, glaring at anyone who stares too long at her.

Richie sighs once she's gone, before turning back to Heather.

"I'm sorry," he says. "I didn't mean that I - "

"Whatever, Richie. Come find me when you're ready to  _see me_ ," she says with a voice full of venom. She storms off and everyone watches to see what Richie will do.

He groans loudly and mumbles only loud enough for Eddie to hear, "I can't handle this."

He gives Eddie one more apologetic glance before following Heather down the hall. Once he's gone, everyone slowly begins going about their own lives again. 

Eddie slowly shakes his head.

Heather is a nut case in his humble opinion.

But now he knows what Richie means when he says that it wouldn't be easy breaking up with her.

Heather has always been abrasive, even before she was with Richie and wasn't popular. She's always been ambitious and never stops at anything to get what she wants, not caring who she hurts in the process. But when she started dating Richie and climbed up the social ladder until she was on top, it's like this overcoming lust for power came over her, and Eddie knows that she wouldn't let that go without a fight.

He sighs. 

Why did he have to be caught in this mess?

Oh yeah.

Because Richie is everything and more to him.

* * *

 It's Wednesday night when Eddie's phone suddenly rings. He was busy studying for a Math exam in his bedroom so he blindly grabs the phone and answers, figuring it would be Beverly calling to talk.

"Hello?"

"Would you like to go get dinner with me?" Richie Tozier asks on the other line.

Eddie's eyes suddenly widen.

"Dinner?" 

Eddie hears slight crackling on the line, before Richie replies.

"Yeah. You wanna go get dinner? I'll pay."

Eddie sighs sadly.

"I just had dinner about half an hour ago," he says quietly.

"Oh. Well how about coffee then? Or a movie? Or we can just walk around for a bit? Whatever you want."

"Is everything okay?"

"I just really want to see you," Richie quietly admits. "We've barely spoken this past week."

Eddie frowns a bit at that statement. He's  _tried_ talking to him, but it's Richie who's been ignoring him still. However, he doesn't want to ruin the moment.

"Um. We can grab coffee at Starbucks?"

"Okay," Richie breathes. "I'll meet you there in....ten minutes?"

"I'll see you then," Eddie confirms.

* * *

 The second he's out of his car, he spots Richie hurriedly walking over to him.

Before he even has a chance to greet the boy, Richie is wrapping Eddie up into his arms and hugging him hard.

Eddie melts at the contact. He squeezes his eyes shut and slowly wraps his arms around's Richie's shoulders.

"Richie? Are you okay?"

"Eh. I'm alright," Richie answers as he buries his face into Eddie's neck.

They slowly unwrap themselves from the other a few moments later and walk inside the building side by side. Once they order their drinks and sit down, Eddie takes in Richie's appearance.

The curly haired boy looked  _exhausted._ And stressed. Eddie felt a wave of pity wash over him. He hated seeing Richie like this.

"What's been going on, Richie?"

Richie huffs.

"I'm just not very happy right now," he finally admits. "I'm just not happy with....you know, her."

Eddie nods sympathetically.

"I'm really sorry you're having to go through this," he replies.

He debates whether or not he should put his hand on top of Richie's in a comforting way. Would that be too much? However, he decides to go ahead and do so anyways, covering Richie's hand with his own, feeling happy when Richie doesn't pull away or even flinch.

"Don't worry about it," Richie says as he stares at their joined hands with a small grin. "Not your fault at all. This is all my mess."

"Remember what I told you, though. I'm always here. I'm your friend. Friends listen to each other when they're down."

Richie simply stares at him with wide eyes, face open and bright.

"I missed you," he says so quietly, Eddie can barely even hear it. However, he can tell that Richie means it. His eyes are shining with adoration for Eddie. And damn, if that doesn't make Eddie feel something inside of him.

"I missed you, too," he replies honestly. He has missed Richie. He hates that they can't act this way with each other in front of their classmates. But he knows why. They wouldn't make it out of high school in one piece if they actually dated.

"I wish I could watch you more often," Richie says before cringing. "Sorry, that sounded creepy. I meant to say, that I wish I could actually look at you like I can right now. At school, in front of everyone. But...."

"I know. We just can't right now," Eddie answers. "But if you want to look at me so bad, all you have to do is ask me. I have plenty of headshots. Beverly likes to practice her photography skills and I usually end up being the model."

Richie giggles loudly, and Eddie realizes that this is the first time all week he has seen Richie smile like this. His heart lurches when he realizes that _he's_ the one who's able to get this reaction out of him.

Suddenly, Richie's smile turns into a teasing smirk.

"So! Tell me about your week so far. I saw you watching me at lunch earlier today. Don't even try to say that you weren't. I don't blame you, though. I tend to have that effect on people."

Eddie relaxes back into his chair and laughs loudly.

And just like that, they're fine again.

They're okay.

* * *

 "You'll never believe it. She's going to be gone for a  _week._ A whole entire week," Richie says to him on Friday night over the phone. "I'm so excited for Thanksgiving break now."

Eddie was relaxing in his bedroom when he had received a call from Richie, who was in an extremely good mood now that he found out Heather was going to be out of town for the entire Thanksgiving break that was beginning in just a few days.

"Where is she going?"

"Her family is staying with some relatives a couple hours away from here. But they won't be returning until the Sunday before school starts back up again. I get the whole week to myself. Can you believe it?"

Eddie chuckles at the boy's enthusiasm.

"That's great, Richie. So, what are you going to do during the break? You have any big plans?"

"Yep," Richie immediately responds. "A whole lot of big plans involving my favorite friend, Eddie Spaghetti."

"Yuck. Don't call me that."

He hears Richie laugh loudly on the other one.

"Alright. Sorry about that, Eds."

Eddie turns into a puddle of goo at that nickname. However, he tries to play it cool.

"That either," he says, though it doesn't sound very convincing at all.

He hears Richie hum in a teasing way.

"Right. I'm sure you  _hate_ my nicknames for you," Richie teases.

Eddie flushes.

"Whatever," he grumbles. "Anyways, what are  _we_ going to be doing during Thanksgiving break?"

"Enjoying it," Richie says simply. 

And to be completely honest, Eddie wouldn't have wanted any other answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for this chapter being a little shorter than my others. Next chapter will be focusing on some Reddie Thanksgiving break. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Next one will be up very soon. Thaaaanks. You guys are awesome!


	6. Making Plans for Richie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! New chapter for you all! I hope you enjoy this chapter! I had fun writing this one! Happy reading! :)
> 
> Also, if anyone can draw well, please message me on here or just comment below and let me know because I have some really cool drawings in mind that could go really well with this story! Obviously, these drawings would include drawing Richie and Eddie, so if you think you can do that well, let me knooooow! :)

"It's day one of Thanksgiving break and the first thing you want to do is go to the  _grocery store_?" Eddie asks when he picks up his phone on Monday morning.

"Well, duh. It'll be fun. I need milk," Richie says simply on the other line.

"Richie. It's the grocery store. What in the world is fun about going to buy milk?"

"Lighten up, buddy. I'll come get you. Better get ready, I'll be there sooner than you think."

"You don't even know where I live," Eddie says into the line.

He hears a chuckle from Richie on the other line.

"Oh, Eds. You're doubting me, aren't you? Never doubt me. Bye."

Eddie opens his mouth to argue, but all he hears is the dead dial tone.

He huffs and pockets his phone.

There's no way Richie would convince him to believe that grocery store shopping would actually be  _fun._

However, that didn't stop him from rushing to his bedroom to get ready for the day, already feeling the familiar butterflies in his stomach at the thought of being close to Richie again.

* * *

 

Eddie and Richie were leaving the grocery store. Well, more like they were stumbling around, trying to hold on to each other as they laughed and laughed in the parking lot. 

"Richie. H-how did you manage to get us kicked out of a grocery store when we were only in there for less than ten minutes?" Eddie gasps as he wipes tears from his eyes.

Richie doubles over in laughter at Eddie's question, causing Eddie to break out into another fit of giggles. He feels like a silly child, but right now, he didn't even care, because  _Richie._

The shopping trip began normally, it really did. They walked in, with Eddie questioning why they needed a cart when all they were getting was one carton of milk. Richie simply grinned and ignored him, choosing to keep walking towards the back instead. Eddie had sighed and followed. 

Once they reached the back with all the frozen and refrigerated items, Richie had grabbed his milk, just like he said he would, and just like normal shoppers, they started walking back up to the front to check out. However, just when Eddie started thinking nothing out of the ordinary was going to happen, something out of the ordinary most definitely happened.

'Livin' on a Prayer' by Bon Jovi started to blare through the grocery store speakers, and Eddie had smiled at Richie's enthusiastic reaction to the song. Richie started singing along to the song and quickly walked to the hair accessories aisle, picking up a hairbrush to use as a microphone. Eddie did nothing but follow him and giggle at the boy's childish behavior.

However, Richie began getting more and more enthusiastic as the song went on, getting louder and louder, and even trying to dance with Eddie. They even began to gather a crowd. Eddie tried to calm Richie down, but it backfired, instead making Richie even more energetic. He eventually let go of Eddie, and actually  _climbed_ into their cart and stood up in it. He was literally  _performing_ the song to the crowd gathered around the two of them. He would sometimes hold the hairbrush out to the crowd, gesturing for them to sing with him, and they would enthusiastically respond, shouting the lyrics right back to him with huge grins on their faces. 

By the end of the song, they had a crowd of about thirty people gathered around his cart, and they were all cheering and whooping for Richie's performance. Eddie, who went from being slightly embarrassed and confused, was even laughing and cheering by the end of the song.

He grabbed Richie's hand and helped him down from the cart, and just when he was about to give Richie a quick hug, they both heard a very stern voice.

"You two! This is not the time and place for any type of....of concert!" The store manager yelled at the two boys.

"O-oh, I'm so sorry. We were just - uh, leaving! Come on, Richie. Let's go," Eddie tried to reason.

"Wait, wait, wait. Now, hold on. You didn't enjoy my impromptu performance? Are you crazy? That was Bon Jovi!" Richie grinned.

The woman, who's name tag read Martha, huffed and glared at Richie.

"I don't care who it was! I will not stand for any behavior like yours in my store! Get out! Go!"

Eddie quickly grabbed Richie and tried dragging him away from the scene, but Richie wasn't done yet.

"Ma'am, with all due respect, I do need my milk. If you'd kindly allow me to grab my milk, I'll go check out and get out of your hair. Promise," Richie said.

The woman sighed but finally nodded slowly.

Richie reached around her and grabbed the abandoned carton of milk, which he had set down on a random shelf at some point during his performance.

Once he grabbed the milk, Eddie sighed in relief, thankful that they were going to leave without any more hassles or issues.

However, just when Richie was about to turn and leave with Eddie, he had to go and say more.

He gently put a hand on Martha's shoulder, patting it a few times.

"You're a great manager, Martha. Maybe next time you can join me on a new track. I don't blame you for not being happy with this performance, you look more like a Springsteen type of girl anyways. But trust me, I can do a great 'Born in the USA.' Just say my name, and I'm here," Richie said with a gleam in his eyes.

Martha's eyes widened and her face got all red with anger.

"Get out of my store!"

Richie held up the carton of milk.

"But, Martha! My milk -"

"I don't care about the milk. Get out!"

Richie pursed his lips and nodded, finally turning and grabbing Eddie's arm. Eddie could see the playful and adventurous glint in Richie's eyes. 

"Okay. She told us to go, Eds. Let's go," Richie said. "Run," he whispered into Eddie's ear.

Before Eddie could even respond, Richie laced their fingers together, and next thing he knew, they were both sprinting out of the store.

"W-wait! You need to pay for that milk," Martha shouted from somewhere behind them.

But they just kept running, out of the store, finally slowing down when they got halfway through the parking lot.

And now here they are, laughing and giggling like madmen.

"Hey, technically, we left before she really kicked us out. And look! Free milk," Richie says as he holds his milk up proudly.

"All of that for one carton of milk, Richie? Seriously?" Eddie asks while still laughing.

"Of course! I take milk shopping very seriously. Wasn't that fun?" 

Eddie gives him a stern look.

"You mean, was watching you do some sort of karaoke performance of a 1980's hit, only to get us yelled at and kicked out of the store by the manager fun?"

Richie only nods excitedly in reply.

"...........Yeah, I guess that was pretty fun," Eddie finally says with a large smile.

A huge grin spreads across Richie's face and he fist pumps the air.

"Yes! See, I told you grocery shopping would be fun with me!"

Eddie shakes his head, but continues grinning.

"Whatever you say, Tozier."

* * *

 

"I'll get a Grande Mocha Frappuccino, and...," Richie trails off, turning to stare at Eddie who quickly pipes up and says his order. "A Tall Caramel Frappuccino, no whipped cream, please," he says.

The barista nods with a smile and punches in their order.

"A tall? That's it? Only a tall? So weak," Richie teases with a shake of his head.

He puts a hand on top of Eddie's to stop him from reaching for his pocket.

"I got it," Richie says as he pulls out a twenty and hands it to the barista.

"I can pay for myself, you know," Eddie says with a teasing smile. "Also, there's nothing wrong with a tall coffee. I don't like to have too much."

"I know you can pay for yourself, but what kind of friend would I be if I didn't pay for the both of us every now and then, huh?"

Eddie chuckles. 

"Fine. I'm paying for dinner tonight then."

Richie's eyebrows raise and he smirks.

"Oh? Does that mean you're asking me out for dinner? I'm flattered," Richie says in a girly voice.

Eddie blushes.

"N-no, I didn't mean it like that. I meant -"

"Yeah, sure. I believe you," Richie says with mock innocence before he turns around and walks away to find the two of them a table, leaving Eddie standing there alone with his mouth dropped open.

This boy was going to be the death of him.

* * *

 "So what are your plans for Thanksgiving?" Richie asks Eddie as they walk together through a park.

It's a beautiful day. It's a bit chilly, but the sun is out, so it balances out the cold air. 

"The usual. My mom is inviting over a bunch of her side of the family and we're having a big lunch with them. Nothing special," Eddie says glumly.

"You don't sound too excited about it," Richie says in reply, staring down at Eddie with concerned eyes.

They're walking right next to each other, but they both have their hands shoved deep into their own coat pockets. Eddie wishes he could just lace their fingers together and hold hands freely. With no judgmental glares and whispers.

"It gets pretty boring. I don't have any siblings or anything, and I don't have relatives that are my age either. They're all older. I sort of just sit there and answer any and all questions politely. I start to feel like a robot after awhile," Eddie admits.

Richie sighs.

"That sounds terrible. I'm sorry," he says quietly.

Eddie shrugs.

"It's just one day. I think I can handle it," he says with a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes.

He turns to Richie.

"What about you? What are your plans?"

Richie's face pales and he noticeably tenses up at the question.

Eddie's eyebrows scrunch together.

"Richie? Are you okay? Is everything alright? You don't have to answer that question if you don't want to. Forget I asked," he says quickly.

However, Richie quickly shakes his head.

"U-um. No, I'll say it. I'm....I'm not having any type of Thanksgiving lunch."

There's silence between them for a few moments, as Eddie tries to process what he just heard.

"What? What do you mean? Do you not celebrate the holiday?"

Richie shakes his head and he sighs.

"No, that's not it. What I mean is..I-I....well, I don't really have a relationship with my parents. Anymore, at least," he says as he shuts his eyes and stops walking.

Eddie quickly leads the two of them to a nearby bench and sits them down.

"Richie. Do you not have a good home life? Are your parents....abusive?"

Richie stares down at the ground, avoiding eye contact with Eddie.

"Physically, they aren't abusive. Verbally, they are. T-they're just....never there. And when they are...they make sure to let me know how disappointed they are in everything I do.  Nothing I do is good enough for either of them. My mom is just a crazy alcoholic who lays around the house all day and yells at me, and my dad is a dentist who's never there for either of us. He just throws money at me and calls it a day. It fucking....it sucks," Richie rants.

He covers his face with his hands and groans.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have started giving you all my baggage. God, l-let's just, let's just keep walking," he says as he begins getting up.

Eddie quickly grabs Richie's hands and pulls him back down.

"Richie. Wait, j-just talk to me. What's going on?"

Eddie couldn't believe his ears. He never thought he would've heard any of this coming from Richie. This is definitely a new.

"We haven't actually celebrated Thanksgiving in years. They decided it wasn't worth the effort anymore. They decided that sitting down and eating together like a normal family for one fucking day a year is too much," Richie spats angrily.

Eddie's heart breaks for the boy.

"Richie," he whispers. "I am so sorry."

"Usually, I don't have any issue with it because Heather always makes me eat with her family. But I guess....now that she's gone for the week, it just reminded me that I don't even really have a true family of my own," he says softly.

He looks so broken and tattered. Eddie wishes he could just hug him and make it all better for him. He deserves it. 

"Eat with me," Eddie suddenly blurts.

Richie's eyes shoot up and stare right into Eddie's.

"W-what?" Richie asks.

"Eat with my family. On Thanksgiving day. Come to my house and eat with me," Eddie says firmly.

He didn't even realize what he was saying, but now that it was out there between the two of them, he knew he meant every word of it.

"Eddie. I can't do that. I-I don't want to be a-"

"Don't finish that sentence. I know what you were going to say. You were going to say you don't want to be a bother. But guess what, genius? You're not a bother at all. You're never a bother. So on Thursday, you're coming to my house at noon and you're eating with us. Okay?"

They stare at each other for a few moments as Eddie patiently waits for an answer from Richie.

"Okay," Richie whispers.

Eddie smiles triumphantly.

"Good," he says simply.

They sit on the bench for a while longer, neither of them talking, just staring at their surroundings. 

All they really need is each other's company.

* * *

 "You accidentally sent your Spanish teacher an 'I love you' text?" Richie asks as he roars with laughter.

"Yes. I had just gotten a new cell phone and I had no idea how to use it. All of my contacts were synced onto it from my old phone, but I had no idea how to text or call or anything. Anyways, Beverly had sent me a new text and somehow, when I tried to respond to her, I accidentally pulled my Spanish teacher's number up and texted her instead," Eddie explains as he wipes tears from his eyes due to his laughter.

The two boys are sat across from each other at a little Italian restaurant. Eddie doesn't even remember how they got onto the topic of their most embarrassing memories, but here they were, sharing all the times they were the most humiliated and ashamed in their lives.

"What did she say?"

"She never texted me back. I didn't even realize that I had texted her instead of Beverly, so over the next few hours after I sent that text, I kept sending more. The next day at school, she pulled me aside and asked me if I was trying to play some sort of sick joke on her," Eddie laughs.

Richie's face is bright and open as he laughs. He bangs his hands on the table a few times, and Eddie knows the loud sound is starting to get them some glares from other customers, but he can't even bring himself to care right now. Not when Richie is this  _happy._

"Oh god. That is embarrassing. Did something like that ever happen to you again?"

"Nope," Eddie replies after he takes a sip of his tea. "As soon as I was done talking to Mrs. Campos, I sprinted out of her room to go find Beverly and explain the situation. Beverly had to spend the next hour or so showing me how to use the new phone."

Richie nods and leans forward, resting his chin in one of his hands. Eddie is blown away by the absolute beauty of the boy across from him.

"That's an awesome story. You know I can't ever let you live that one down, right?"

Eddie rolls his eyes but cracks a smile.

"Wouldn't expect anything less from you," he says endearingly.

The two stare at each other and smile, completely content with where they are right now.

However, the waitress suddenly interrupts the two boys, setting their plates of food down in front of them.

"Can I get you two anything else?" She asks nicely.

Both boys shake their heads, but don't take their eyes off of each other for a second.

* * *

 "Okay, I've got one last stop for us to make today," Richie says as they get back into his car after dinner. It was nearing 10 PM.

"Yeah? And where might that be?"

"You'll see."

* * *

 "Come on. This is the perfect time to do this. No one is ever out here at this time," Richie whispers as he reaches into the backseat and grabs a black bag, before stepping out of the car.

Eddie is confused. They're pulled up in front of some restaurant that had closed down a few months prior. Eddie has no idea what they could possibly be doing here. However, instead of questioning Richie any further, he steps out and follows.

"Richie. What are we doing here?"

Richie jogs ahead and stops when they reach the side of the building. They were now staring at a brick wall. It used to be just white, but ever since the restaurant closed down, people started using the wall for graffiti. Eddie has never been a big fan of that type of thing, but standing here now and taking in all the art on the wall....even he has to admit that it is absolutely beautiful.

He stops staring when he hears Richie drop the bag he was carrying and then start digging inside of it. He pulls out a few spray paint bottles of various colors.

"Are you crazy? If we get caught doing this, we could get arrested!"

Richie chuckles.

"Didn't I tell you to never doubt me? Trust me, no one is ever out here at this time. I promise," Richie says quietly. "Now, are you just gonna stand there or are you going to make art with me?"

Eddie looks to his left, to his right, and behind him a few times, scanning the area to make sure there's no one else with them. When his eyes finally make their way back to Richie, he sees one spray paint bottle being held out to him. 

He finally grabs it and walks slowly towards the wall.

He hears Richie cheer in delight, and he watches as the taller boy quickly walks forwards as well, already eyeing the wall with excitement.

Eddie can't take his eyes off the boy, even if he tries to. He watches as Richie quickly begins spraying the wall, with absolute focus and concentration on his work.

A few moments go by before Richie speaks.

"I know I'm pretty. But I think you might want to at least spray something because I'm already halfway done," Richie says smugly.

Eddie huffs in embarrassment when he realizes he's been caught staring. He shakes his head and stares at the wall in front of him. He has no idea what to spray. He's never done this before.

"Don't think about it. Just spray," Eddie hears Richie say quietly.

Eddie nods, mostly to himself. 

_Don't think about it. Just spray._

So he follows the curly haired boy's advice.

He starts to spray. He doesn't have any goal in mind or any direction he wants to take, he just sprays. 

He sprays for what feels like forever, coming up with some weird and twisted creation. The air around the two of the start to smell strongly of paint, but they're enjoying themselves too much to care.

Finally, Eddie finishes.

He steps back and looks at his masterpiece.

It's mostly a huge circle, but it's got all kinds of swirls and dots and  _life._ Eddie smiles in satisfaction. 

"Looks good, Kaspbrak. Really good," Richie approves.

Eddie then takes the time to look at Richie's art.

His breath is taken away.

He's staring at a.... _beach_.

It looks so  _real._

The sand, the ocean, the sky, the sun. Everything. Eddie feels like he's in that location  _right now._

"I-it's beautiful," Eddie whispers.

"This is for you. Think of this beach as your safe haven, as your home away from home. The home where everything is... _right._ Where you're free to be yourself, and no one has a problem with it. This is you, Eddie."

Eddie feels an overwhelming sense of emotion rush through him. He exhales shakily.

"This isn't me, Richie. This is  _us."_

He doesn't feel afraid when he says that. He doesn't think of any consequences that may come.

Richie's smile and single nod is all he needs to know that everything right now is  _okay._

They'll be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you guys think? Please let me know how you're liking the direction this story is taking! New chapter coming very soon!
> 
> Thank youuuuu! :)


	7. Our House

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! New chapter for you all! I really hope you guys enjoy it! This will be the last chapter of their thanksgiving break together. Once they return to school, unfortunately things can't be all happiness and rainbows forever. But trust me, they'll still have their happy ending. I promised that, didn't I?
> 
> Enjoy! :)

"Hey, Mom? Is it okay if I have a friend over on Thanksgiving day?"

Eddie watches as his mother automatically freezes, and takes her eyes off the TV. 

"A friend?" She asks as if the word is foreign to her. "Who's this friend? Is it that Marsh girl? I told you I don't think she's a good influence on y-"

"No, mom," Eddie interrupts. "Not Beverly. This is someone else."

His mother sighs.

"And who might this one be, Eddie? I sure hope it's not someone who's just as bad as she is."

Eddie sighs. Sometimes, he really couldn't stand his mother.

"His name is Richie. He doesn't have a good family life, and he's really upset that he won't be able to have a thanksgiving lunch with his own parents, so I invited him to eat with us. It's the least we can do," Eddie says, trying his best to make sure his mother knows just how bad Richie has it.

His mother is silent for a few moments.

"Why have I never met this friend? If he's such a good friend, why have I never met him?"

Eddie just barely holds himself back from rolling his eyes.

"Because, mom. We just recently started becoming good friends," he lies. 

Well, that's not a total lie. But he does leave out the part about him actually knowing Richie for  _years._

His mother rocks in her chair quietly for a few more minutes, as she seems to contemplate.

"Fine," she finally says. "He can come. But he better not be expecting anything more than lunch. I'm already having to cook for so many," she complains.

But Eddie ignores it. He wraps his arms around her and gives her a quick hug.

"Thank you, mom. He'll really appreciate it. We're doing a very nice thing."

His mother nods her head once.

"Go to bed, Eddie. It's late."

Eddie nods, and walks quickly up the stairs before closing his bedroom door behind him.

He immediately rushes to his phone and dial's Richie number.

He hears the dull ring tone for a few minutes, before Richie finally picks up.

" _Good evening, Eds. To what do I owe the honor?"_

Eddie rolls his eyes.

_"My mother said you can eat with us tomorrow. Be at my house at 11 AM and don't be late!"_

_"A-are you sure, Eddie? I mean, you really don't have to-"_

_"Richie! What did I say about you doing that? Stop it. You're coming over and that's that."_

It's quiet for a few seconds and Eddie starts to wonder if Richie hung up.

" _You're such an amazing person, Eddie. I'm so glad I have you in my life."_

Eddie flushes.

_"Yeah, yeah. You're welcome, I guess."_

Richie laughs loudly and Eddie joins in. Moments like these are Eddie's favorite.

_"What are you doing right now?"_

_"Getting a little nosy are we Eds? I'm not really doing anything right now. Playing around on my guitar."_

_"I've never heard you play. Why haven't I heard you play?"_

_"I'm not very good. I just like to play for fun mostly."_

_"I'm sure you're very good. I want to hear you."_

Eddie smiles when he earns a chuckle from Richie.

_"One of these days, Eds. Maybe one of these days."_

_"Promise?"_

_"Swear on my life."_

* * *

 

"Okay, my mom is in the kitchen right now cooking food. I'm not sure if she's going to want to talk right now, but if she does, be on your best behavior."

"That's the only behavior I know of," Richie shrugs innocently.

Eddie glares at him but can't help the corners of his mouth twitch up in a grin.

"Come on, Tozier," he says.

The two boys walk into Eddie's house, and Eddie gestures for Richie to stay behind him.

"Uh, mom? This is Richie. The friend I was telling you about," Eddie says cautiously.

"Hi, Mrs. Kaspbrak. Thank you for having me over. It really means a lot," Richie says earnestly.

Eddie watches as his mother stops cutting some lettuce, and slowly turns around to eye the two boys.

"Eddie," she says, completely ignoring Richie. "Why don't you show....your friend around the house? I'm very busy," she says.

Eddie lets out a breath he didn't even realize he was holding.

"Okay, mom. Thank you," he says before grabbing Richie's hand and pulling him down the hall.

"Well....that was...uh, weird," Richie says awkwardly.

Eddie grins.

"Are you kidding? That was my mom actually being decent for once," he says with a laugh.

"Wow. She's something else, isn't she?"

"You don't even wanna know," Eddie chuckles.

It's silent for a few seconds as Richie looks all around the living room. It's not very nice or anything, it's very plain.

"So," Richie finally says. "Does this mean I get to finally see your room?"

Eddie's breath hitches and his heart stops for a second. Oh shit. He didn't even think about that. 

"U-um, well. I uh, I'm not really-"

Richie cuts him off with a sudden loud laugh.

"Eddie, calm down. I'm not going to attack you or something. You don't have to show me your room if you don't want to," Richie says through giggles.

Eddie huffs and shakes his head.

"No, come on. I'll show you," he says firmly.

He begins walking upstairs and hears Richie quickly follow closely.

Once upstairs, he walks down the small hallway and stops at the door on his left. His hand hovers over the doorknob for a few seconds.

Richie patiently waits behind him.

Finally, he grabs the doorknob and turns it, pushing his door open.

He awkwardly walks into his room, and avoids looking in Richie's direction while the taller boy slowly makes his way all around the bedroom.

He's proud of his room. He keeps it clean and organized, all while giving it a taste of  _himself._ He's got a few posters on the wall of some of his favorite bands and tv show casts, and he's got shelves of comics and books. He's also got a huge shelf of Vinyl in the corner.

His cheeks redden as Richie walks over to his desk where he sits to get ready every morning. He doesn't want Richie to find him too  _girly_ for having bottles of moisturizers and lotions and creams. He just likes to stay... _clean._ However, he watches as Richie's smile lifts as he inspects all the different bottles.

Finally, Richie finishes and turns to look right into Eddie's eyes again.

"You know, you can tell a lot about a person just from looking at their room. You're beautiful," Richie says simply.

Eddie falters, his eyes widening and his mouth dropping open. He coughs and rubs the back of his neck, staring down at the floor.

"T-thanks," he says quietly.

Suddenly, he feels a hand on his chin, pushing up until he stares right into Richie's eyes.

"I'm sorry no one ever tells you how beautiful you are," Richie says so quietly. 

Eddie feels like he's sinking under Richie's intense gaze. 

"Because you are," Richie continues. "You're the most beautiful person I've ever laid my eyes on."

Eddie is quiet, breathing long and deep. He feels tears rush to his eyes. No one has ever said that to him. He's never felt beautiful. He's always felt exactly like what people call him.....a  _freak._

But here is Richie, cradling him like he's some kind of prized possession, telling him that he's  _beautiful._ And for once in his life, Eddie believes it.

"R-Richie," he breathes.

Before he even realizes what he's doing, he's surging forward and pressing his lips against Richie's.

Richie doesn't even flinch, he simply wraps his arms around Eddie's waist and pulls him in closer.

Feeling Richie's arms on him, feeling Richie's lips pressing hard against his, seems to wake Eddie up from some kind of coma.

He finds himself lacing his fingers into Richie's curls and yanking hard, making Richie let out a long and low groan.

They deepen the kiss, tongues finding each other's as hands grab at each other, trying to get as close as possible.

Eddie separates their lips with a loud smack, only to moan loudly when Richie immediately presses his lips to Eddie's neck and starts sucking on the warm skin.

"R-Rich, I-"

"Eddie! I need your help!"

Eddie immediately jumps back as if he's been shocked, and takes a few deep breaths.

"C-coming, mom!"

It's quiet as the two boys stare at each other. Eddie feels a twitch in his pants when he takes in Richie's swollen lips and tousled hair.

"Eddie, I-"

"I'm gonna go help my mom. Just uh, just stay here," Eddie says quietly.

Richie slowly nods and then lowers his eyes to the ground. Eddie takes a step forward and lightly runs the back of his hand down Richie's cheek. Richie closes his eyes and leans into the touch. 

Eddie finally takes his hand away and then leaves the room, shutting the door behind him.

As soon as he's by himself, he covers his face with a hand and exhales.

Well,  _fuck._

* * *

 

"Thank you for coming, everyone," Sonia Kaspbrak announces to the huge group of people sitting around the table.

Eddie plasters on a smile, already ready for all the annoying questions that he answers every single year.

Eddie turns his head to stare at Richie, who's sitting to his left. The curly haired boy looks nervous. Eddie smiles.

"You okay?" He whispers.

Richie turns his head, and when he sees Eddie's reassuring face, he visibly relaxes and grins back.

"Yeah. I'm good," he responds.

Eddie nods and grins.

"Eddie, I can't help but notice you have some company here this year?" A woman asks.

His Aunt Mary. Someone who's just as nosy and judgmental as his mother, if not more somehow.

Eddie nods.

"This is my friend, Richie. We go to the same school," he answers in his fake polite voice.

Mary nods.

"And why is he....here?" She asks.

Eddie feels anger already boiling in the pit of his stomach. He can't stand that he's got family members who can't even speak to people directly, if they feel they're not superior enough or something.

"He's here because..." Eddie trails off and turns to look at Richie. He doesn't want to speak for the taller boy.

Richie gives him an encouraging smile and turns to stare back at Mary himself.

"I'm here because my parents didn't want to have lunch with me, and Eddie here was nice enough to invite me over to have lunch with him," Richie says, all while keeping a grin plastered on his face.

Mary eyes him for a few seconds and then nods.

"You don't have a  _girlfriend_ who would let you eat with her family?"

Eddie opens his mouth to immediately interject, but Richie beats him to it.

"She's actually out of town for the week," Richie says. 

Mary seems to relax when Richie mentions a girlfriend in his life, much to Eddie's dismay.

"Oh, good," Mary says happily. "Good to hear you've got yourself a great young girl. Don't want to hear about you being one of... _those,"_ she says with her nose upturned.

Eddie sees Richie's smile twitch downwards.

"I'm sorry. What do you mean 'one of those'?"

Eddie closes his eyes, and wishes with everything he has that Richie didn't just ask that question. He already knows this is going in a bad direction.

"I think you know what I'm talking about," she says with a laugh. "One of those fags," she says simply.

Eddie's heart sinks at the word. He feels at a loss of breath. Not only because of what Mary said, but because everyone in the family didn't even bat an eye at the disgusting word.

There's silence, and Eddie can't even look at Richie right now. He can't even breathe. Not when he feels like he's just been slapped in the face.

"So what if I was?" Richie suddenly says.

Eddie's eyes shoot open and he turns towards Richie, who's still got that damn grin on his face. But Eddie can easily see the hardness in his eyes, the tense lines around his lips.

Mary laughs again, finding the idea of Richie possibly being gay  _hilarious._

"Well then I would feel very bad for you, young man. You'll be in my prayers," she says mockingly.

There's a murmur of giggles from around the table, even from Eddie's mother. He's never felt this angry in his entire life. He's got a family full of hateful assholes, and he was stupid enough to bring Richie here and allow them to talk down on him like this.

"There's nothing wrong with being gay," Richie responds. His smile is gone now and he's actually glaring. "Everyone is the same, no matter who they love," he says.

This time, Mary's eyes harden as she finally stares at Richie for the first time.

"Man was made for woman, sweetheart," she says.

"And who said that? Some random old dude in the  _bible?"_

Mary gasps.

"How dare you speak to me like that? Who do you think you are?"

"I don't  _think_ I'm anyone. I  _know_ that I'm a happy young man who doesn't have to live in some fantasy land where I'm afraid of anyone being different. Being gay is okay, and the fact that you're sitting there mocking the possibility that I might like other boys shows me who's the  _real_ bitch here," Richie says.

There's silence from all around the kitchen. You could cut the tension with a knife.

"Eddie," Sonia suddenly says quietly. "I think it's time for your friend to get the hell out of here," she says with venom.

Eddie turns to look at Richie again, who's staring down at his plate, his eyes void of any emotion.

He suddenly stands up, allowing his chair to screech against the floor.

"Richie's right. There's nothing wrong with being gay. You all are disgusting, and I'm ashamed to call you my family."

He grabs Richie's hand and pulls him up and out of the kitchen before anyone has a chance to reply.

He yanks Richie out the front door, slamming it behind them.

He grabs Richie and wraps him up in his arms, hugging him tightly.

"I-I'm so sorry, Eddie. I ruined your Thanksgiving. I didn't mean to-"

"Shh. Richie, you didn't do  _anything_ wrong. I'm sorry for bringing you here. My family is full of pricks, you shouldn't have been in that environment."

Richie shakes his head.

"You were being a good friend. It's not your fault that you've got a messed up family," Richie says with a small chuckle.

It's silent for a few moments as they simply hug each other.

"Wanna go for a walk or something?" Eddie asks.

Richie nods.

"Yes, of course. Let's go," he says, and they begin walking slowly down the street, away from the place that Eddie is sad to call his home.

"Shit. I called that lady a bitch. Geez, I didn't mean to say that. I was just so  _angry-"_

"I would've said the same thing. She was being a bitch. You didn't do anything wrong," Eddie clarifies.

Richie sighs but seems to accept his answer.

"Thanks, Eddie. You're the best," Richie says.

Eddie chuckles.

"Don't mention it," he replies. "Fuck, I'm hungry."

Richie lets out a loud laugh.

"Something tells me your family wouldn't be too happy at the idea of me coming back in to grab a plate," he jokes.

They giggle together, stepping closer to the other.

"I know most restaurants are closed, but there's this little pizza place that literally never closes all year. Wanna go there?"

"I thought you'd never ask, Eds."

* * *

 

"So, was your mother pretty angry when you finally got back home?"

"Yep. Yelled at me for hours. But I'm finally in my room," Eddie says into the phone as he lays on his bed, staring at his ceiling.

"Good. Make sure you let her know how much I love her next time you talk to her."

Eddie laughs.

"Will do. I'm sure she'll be happy to hear from you."

Richie giggles on the other line.

"Well, Thanksgiving break is coming to an end soon. I just wanna say, it's been one of my favorites, Eds. All thanks to you."

Eddie grins and he feels his cheeks redden.

"It has been pretty legendary," he agrees.

"You got that damn right."

Eddie feels his heart sink at the thought of the break ending, and the two of them having to return to school in just a few days. School. Where Heather will be, and where all those hateful students will be.

"Richie, no matter what happens when we return to school. Just know that I'm always here for you. As your friend."

He can hear a few deep breaths coming from Richie's end.

"I know, Eddie. Thank you."

"Hey, what are friends for?"

"Yeah," Richie says. "Just wish we didn't have to be friends, you know?"

And Eddie has never absolutely fucking agreed with something more.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? Let me know! :)
> 
> Also, I really hope I didn't offend anyone with the argument between Richie and Eddie's Aunt Mary. I want you all to know that I personally have nothing against homosexuality, and my writing of a character who IS homophobic does not reflect on my own beliefs at all. I really hope no one is upset with that scene at all. I deeply apologize if anyone is. My intentions were not meant to be harmful at all.


	8. To Build A Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I've finally got a brand new chapter for you all! I hope everyone had some very happy holidays. I'm so excited to finally be writing more of this story for you all again. Things got pretty hectic for me for a little bit, but I've finally got a few weeks to write, write, write. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Happy reading! :)

Monday morning comes around, and Eddie is already dreading his return back to school. It's not that he hates school or anything...well, he kind of does, but he mainly doesn't want to go back because  _Richie._

He has no idea what school will be like now. All he knows is that he had a fantastic break, all thanks to the taller boy, and now, they both have to go back to pretending they are nothing more than mere acquaintances. Just two students who  _sometimes_ talk,  _sometimes_ greet each other in the hall,  _sometimes_ share a polite smile to the other.

All because the student body at Derry High would flip a table if they caught Eddie and Richie being any closer than they  _should_ be. Of course, Richie could be as close as he wanted to be with any other guy, but because Eddie is the Derry High  _gay kid,_ that suddenly means that any other boy he talks to will become gay too. Eddie cringes just at the thought of that. He really can't stand the thought process of those students at that school.

He feels his phone buzz just as he finishes his bowl of cereal. His mother, sitting in the living room and watching TV as usual, pays no mind to him. She's still ignoring him for the whole 'Richie and Aunt Mary debacle'. Eddie couldn't care less, though. What Richie did was brave, and it's something that Eddie has always dreamed of doing, but never had the guts to. But now, he feels like he  _can_ stand up for himself. He's never felt like this before. All his life, he's let people walk all over him. He's always let himself hide in the shadows, in fear of what others might say if he tries to shine. However, ever since he watched Richie stand up for the two of them to his Aunt Mary, he feels invincible. 

He sees a new text from Beverly. Eddie suddenly realizes how much he misses her. She had been on a week long trip with her family in Vermont, and Eddie hardly got any time to text or call her over the break. He can't believe she still has no idea about his situation with Richie. He knows he needs to spill everything soon. He just doesn't know how.

_Missed you, cutie. Excited to see you at school. <3_

Eddie grins and sends a quick reply, before pocketing his phone and heading to the front door with his backpack on. However, just as he's about to open the door, his mother's voice stops him.

"Eddie. You be back at this house, as soon as school ends. Don't think that because you're done with the break, that means your punishment is over. You will return as soon as the school day ends, and you will do your homework and your chores," she says coldly.

Eddie's heart drops at the news. He was hoping to hang out with Beverly after school. He sighs as he realizes he'll have to cancel with her.

"Yes, mother."

"And, Eddie?"

Eddie takes a moment before answering, already weary of what she has to say next.

"Yeah?"

"I better not see you with that dirty boy ever again. He's such a terrible influence on you. The good Lord knows that you're much better off without him," she says with such venom.

Eddie's blood boils. He whirls around.

"No, he's not. He's my friend. Who cares if you don't agree with homosexuality?" He snaps.

His mother freezes, and lifts the remote to mute the television. She slowly turns in her chair to face Eddie. Her eyes are cold and empty.

"Now, I know I raised you better than this, Eddie. I will not allow my son to be influenced by whatever.... _lifestyle_ he chooses to live," she says with a wave of her hand.

Eddie huffs.

"Being gay isn't a lifestyle! What's so wrong about it to you? There's  _nothing_ wrong with it!"

"Yes, there is," Sonia suddenly shouts. "I can't believe what I'm hearing. What has gotten into you? You sound just like that dirty boy sounded. You sound just as rude and disrespectful as that - that disgusting boy-"

" _Richie._ He has a  _fucking_ name. It's Richie!" Eddie shouts.

Sonia's jaw drops and she suddenly stands up and storms over to Eddie, towering over him and pointing a chubby finger in his face.

"Do not ever talk to me like that again, young man! I will ground you. You know what? You  _are_ grounded! For a whole month, you won't-"

"You can't ground me," Eddie yells. "I'm not a child anymore! You can't smother anymore like this. I can live my own goddamn life however I choose to and you won't stop me. I'll love whoever I want to fucking love. And guess what, mom? I'm  _gay!_ I'm a  _'fag'_ as you so nicely put it! How does that make you feel? How does having a gay son make you feel?" He taunts.

Sonia is fuming. Her eyes are huge and wild, and her mouth is opening and closing, as if she's trying to speak, but can't come up with anything. Eddie wants to laugh at the sight.

"You are  _not_ gay, Eddie. You're letting that boy get to your head. You will like  _girls._ Just like I raised you to," she warns.

Eddie laughs and shakes his head.

"You don't get it, do you? I'm gay. I like boys. I like  _Richie._ And I'm not gonna stop liking him. Whether you like it or not," he says.

He suddenly turns around, and yanks the front door open, stepping out and slamming it behind him.

He's half expecting his mother to open the door and come out after him, but she doesn't. This relieves and worries Eddie at the same time. Who knows what she's going to do when he returns home from school. No, he can't allow himself to be afraid. He won't be afraid of her anymore. He won't let her make him think that he's disgusting and wrong just because he likes other boys. 

He sighs to himself and just then, a car comes speeding down the road, screeching to a halt right in front of him. 

Eddie breathes a sigh of relief at the sight of Beverly, who somehow always knows just when to come to his rescue.

"Hop in, hot stuff!"

Eddie chuckles and he feels his chest begin to lighten again.

"Bev, I have never been so fucking happy to see you before."

* * *

 

First period just ended and Eddie's at his locker, switching out his books for his next class which begins in just a few minutes.

He didn't see Richie at all before school started, which he's actually kind of thankful for. He's not ready to face the taller boy with Heather yet.

However, just as he's getting ready to head to his Government class, he stops at the sound of some loud voices coming from some of the jocks down the hall.

"Tozier. Welcome back, my man!"

Eddie braces himself and finally turns to see Richie high-fiving a bunch of the jocks at the end of the hallway. Eddie's not sure if Richie has seen him yet, but he smiles nonetheless. Richie somehow has that effect on him at all times. No matter what, Eddie will always smile when he sees that boy. Heather is nowhere to be seen, which Eddie is internally grateful for. 

The jocks finally leave Richie on his own, and Eddie suddenly realizes that Richie is walking in his direction, though he's looking straight ahead. Eddie figures he still hasn't seen him yet. He  _is_ pretty tiny after all.

Eddie's heart rate speeds up. Should he greet Richie? Should he reach out and hug him? Should he even talk at all? So many thoughts are racing through Eddie's head, but he quickly realizes that he shouldn't be so afraid anymore.

This is  _Richie._

The boy who cares about Eddie, who stood up for him in front of his family, who made Eddie's Thanksgiving break  _exciting_ for once in his life. The boy who called him  _beautiful._

As Richie gets closer, Eddie shuts his locker and completely turns towards the curly haired boy, fully preparing to greet him with a possible hug if Richie would be comfortable with it.

"Hey, Richie-"

Eddie is cut off by the sound of that shrill voice he absolutely grew to  _loathe._

"Baby! Ugh, I missed you so much!"

Eddie quickly turns to see Heather literally  _running_ down the hall, jumping into Richie's arms and wrapping her legs around his waist. Richie easily catches her and spins her around a few times. Eddie's heart drops when he sees Richie  _smile_ at the girl.

"Hey, babe. I missed you, too! The break was lonely without you," Richie replies as he sets her back on the ground.

Eddie feels so out of place in the moment, and he feels like a total creep. He turns to face his locker again, making sure he doesn't look like a weirdo who's just watching the couple embrace and talk.

He can now  _hear_ the sound of them kissing, the exaggerated smack of their lips parting. He squeezes his eyes shut and slowly opens his locker again, pretending to look around for something else inside.

"Come on. Let's get to class," Eddie hears Heather say loudly.

Eddie turns back towards the couple just in time to see the two grin at each other and link fingers, before walking down the hall together. Eddie lets out a soft breath when they're not in sight anymore.

He shuts his locker and walks in the opposite direction the couple went, suddenly not feeling excited for any more of his classes.

Eddie's heart suddenly shatters when he realizes one very interesting detail.

Richie hadn't even glanced in his direction  _once._

Eddie knows that they're right back to square one.

* * *

 

"Eddie? Earth to Eddie! Eddie! Stop staring at him, it's getting weird!"

Eddie is snapped out of his daze by Beverly, who smacked him on the arm. He cradles it gently.

"Ow, that hurt. What the fuck was that for?"

Beverly pretends to think for a few seconds.

"Hmm, I don't know. Maybe because I've been trying to talk to you since lunch  _started_ but you've been too busy staring at Tozier as per usual. I'm trying to tell you funny stories about my trip to Vermont," she whines.

Eddie suddenly feels a stab of guilt. He turns to fully face Beverly.

Richie is the last person he should be wanting to drool over right now, anyways. Currently, the curly haired boy is sitting at a table across the cafeteria from them, with his arm wrapped around Heather. Heather is leaning into his side and the two are both laughing at something one of the jocks who sit with them said. Eddie shakes his head and focuses on his best friend.

"Shit, I'm sorry. I'll stop staring," he promises. "Now, tell me. Start from the beginning," he smiles.

Beverly grins knowingly but nods.

"Okay. So, we went to visit my cousins, right? Anyways, on the first day, my-"

"Uh, hi Beverly."

Beverly stops talking and both she and Eddie quickly turn to the source of the voice.

Ben Hanscom stands above them, holding his lunch tray while grinning sheepishly at the two of them.

Eddie's mouth drops open and Beverly drops her fork in surprise.

"B-Ben," Beverly stutters. "Um, hi! How can I uh...help you?"

Eddie smirks to himself. Beverly is too cute when she's nervous.

However, he's shocked to notice that Ben looks just as nervous, and even  _shy._

"I uh, well. I had a great time with you at that party you two were at and I just, um. Well, I just wanted to talk to you again. Would you mind if I maybe sat with the two of you today?"

Eddie wants to squeal in delight  _for_ Beverly. The gesture is so kind. Eddie feels his heart melt at how sincere Ben looks right now.

Beverly makes a surprised noise, but quickly nods.

"Y-yes, of course. Please, take a seat," she says as she gestures at the table.

Ben nods and sits before grinning shyly again, but this time his eyes dart back and forth between Beverly and Eddie.

"Um, I thought I could bring my friends over here too. You know, Bill, Stan, and Mike? If you guys don't mind, of course," Ben says.

Though Eddie feels a little nervous at the idea of  _four_ new people joining he and Beverly for lunch, he knows that not a single one of them are mean so he relaxes a bit and nods.

"That's fine with me," he says to Ben with a smile. Ben's face lights up in return, and then he turns to wait for an answer from Beverly.

"Of course that's fine with me too," she answers.

Ben grins widely and then turns away from the two, giving a 'come here' gesture to Bill, Stan, and Mike, who all just left the lunch line.

The three boys walk over with easy grins on their faces, and sit down across from Eddie and Beverly.

"Hey guys," Beverly says nervously.

Bill, Stan and Mike each give her a big grin and a polite greeting, before they turn to face Eddie.

"Um, hi. It's nice to have your company," Eddie says.

He wants to punch himself in the face. He's being so awkward. Why is he always so  _weird?_

However, the boys don't seem to notice. Or if they do, they simply ignore it and greet him back just as politely.

"We've been meaning to ask you guys if we could sit with you for a while now, but Ben over here was just too shy," Stan says teasingly.

Ben's face turns a bright shade of red and he elbows Stan in the ribs.

"Stan likes to joke around all the time. He's such a joker," Ben says with a nervous laugh.

Beverly laughs and leans forward a bit, a sign that Eddie has grown to realize she's comfortable with a person.

"Well, I'm really happy you all are sitting with us now. We had a great time talking to you all at the party. I'm glad that wasn't the only time we were going to speak to you," Beverly says earnestly.

Bill quickly shakes his head.

"O-oh no, of c-course not. We all think you both are r-really awesome."

Eddie's shocked, to say the least.

Four of the most well liked boys in the whole school were sitting right across from him and actually complimenting him. He's not complaining though. Beverly was right. They  _are_ great guys. Eddie could see himself being close friends with them, if it weren't for all the social ladder shit the school put together over the years.

"Hey, Eddie. I saw you were taking AP Government. I think we have the same teacher," Stan suddenly says.

Eddie's eyes quickly snap up to meet his, and he's relieved to see that Stan actually seems genuinely interested in talking to him.

"Oh! Uh, Mr. Burns?"

Stan nods with a smile.

"Yeah, I have him fourth period," Stan explains. "How do you like the class? It's  _so_ interesting, right?"

Eddie nods back enthusiastically. He really does enjoy that class a lot.

"Yeah, definitely! I love the lectures we have. Mr. Burns is a great teacher," he replies excitedly.

Stan smiles and just like that, the two quickly begin a conversation on their favorite topics the class has gone over so far.

Beverly and Ben are having an easy conversation together as well, and Bill and Mike switch between talking to each other and joining in on the conversation with Eddie and Stan.

Eddie suddenly realizes that  _this_ is what it's like to have  _friends._

He's always had Beverly, but he knew that even she wishes they had more friends to hang out with. 

Now, here they are. Actually making new friends together. The thought makes Eddie feel light and giddy.

"Okay, okay, enough of all this nerd talk," Mike suddenly cuts in during Stan and Eddie's conversation, causing everyone to giggle. "Eddie, I have a serious question. Do you moisturize your face?"

Eddie's face flushes, and he freezes. Oh no. Here come the teases and jabs.

"If you do, can you  _please_ tell me what you use? I mean, look at my face! It's so dry. Your skin looks so much better than mine," he whines.

The whole table bursts out in laughter, including Eddie. He was  _not_ expecting to hear that coming from Mike Hanlon of all people.

"Y-yeah, I'd like t-to know your secrets, t-too," Bill says with a lighthearted smile.

Stan nods in agreement.

"Yeah, Eddie. Tell them your special ways. He's even better at it than I am," Beverly says, her eyes twinkling.

Eddie giggles. They all look so interested, especially Mike.

"Well, first I start by-"

Eddie cuts himself off when he suddenly turns his head and makes direct eye contact with Richie from across the cafeteria.

Richie is still sitting with his arm wrapped around Heather, but he's not even paying attention to her. He's staring right at Eddie.

Eddie can't take his eyes off of the boy. He's never seen Richie look like this.

The taller boy's eyes are empty, but they somehow seem like they're glaring as well. Eddie feels himself shrink. Why is Richie looking at him like that?

Suddenly, Richie turns to say something in Heather's ear, and then he stands up and quickly leaves the cafeteria. Eddie watches him the whole time.

"Um, Eddie? You okay?"

Eddie is suddenly forced back to reality when he feels a tap on his wrist from Mike. They seem oblivious to what just happened. So does Beverly, who is sneaking glances at Ben as many times as she could.

"S-sorry, I lost my train of thought," he says lamely. "Anyways, moisturizing routine! Are you sure you really want to hear about my moisturizing routine?" He says jokingly.

All four boys fervently nod in response, their eyes wide with excitement.

"Mike's right. We all suck at that kind of stuff, and our skin is starting to pay the price," Ben says as he rubs absently at his own cheek.

Beverly giggles at the sight.

Eddie chuckles and then nods.

"Well, for starters, I will say that it takes a lot of time and dedication," Eddie begins.

* * *

 

Eddie returns home from his after-school hang out with Beverly around 7 PM. He knows he will have to face more consequences from his mother for not coming home right after school ended like she said, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

Though the day wasn't the  _best,_ because  _Richie,_ he at least made some new friends. And now he even had four new phone numbers in his cell phone.

However, the second he walks in the door, he notices the house is quiet.  _Too_ quiet.

He walks into the living room, and is immediately put off when he sees that no lights or the television are on.

His mother is gone, he presumes. 

He walks into the kitchen, and his suspicions are confirmed. He sees a note attached to the refrigerator by a magnet.

_Eddie, I'm spending the rest of the day with my sister. We will be discussing your recent behavior, and we'll decide what the appropriate punishment should be for you. I'll be back tomorrow. Leftovers are in the fridge. Don't even think about having anyone over, because trust me, I'll find out. I love you._

Eddie snorts at the 'I love you' that she wrote at the end. What a perfect note to come home to.

He sighs and opens the fridge, pulling out some grilled chicken and a salad.

He sits down at the dinner table by himself and digs in.

Very soon into his feast, his phone starts to buzz.

Eddie's heart stops when he sees who's name is on the Caller ID.

_Richie._

Eddie takes a deep breath. He can do this. This phone call will be okay. He can handle himself. 

He quickly holds the phone up to his hear and answers.

"Hello?"

" _Hey."_

"Hi."

" _What are you doing?"_

"I'm uh, eating dinner."

" _Oh_."

Eddie shuts his eyes and rubs a hand over his face a few times. This is quickly becoming awkward.

"Richie, are you okay?"

" _I'm fine."_

"Okay...well, I can tell that you're not really fine. So are you gonna tell me what's really going on?"

It's silent for a few moments.

" _You seemed like you were having fun at lunch today."_

Eddie can tell that Richie's voice has a slight hint of anger laced in, which shocks him.

"Um. Yeah, it was nice."

It's silent again.

"Richie. What the hell is wrong with you?"

Eddie begins to feel anger boiling in his stomach. Richie has absolutely no room to be angry with him. He  _can't_ be mad. He has no reason to be. Right?

When Richie still doesn't answer, Eddie huffs.

"Richie! Answer me. Are you-are you mad at me?"

Eddie hears a chuckle on the other end of the line.

" _What makes you think that?"_

Richie's voice holds no lightheartedness or teasing like it always does.

"Um, well you're barely talking to me. And don't think I didn't see you glaring at me at lunch today. What's going on?"

_"Nothing. Just forget it."_

"No, I'm not gonna forget it. You need to tell me what's going on, so I can help, Richie!"

_"Nice to see you've made all your new friends."_

Eddie's eyes widen.

"So, it is about that! Why are you mad at me for making some friends? You have absolutely no room to be mad. Did you forget how you ignored me this morning? Well, I haven't forgotten!"

Richie sighs loudly.

" _Look, you know that I can't-"_

"Don't say it, Richie. There's nothing wrong with being friends at school."

" _We are friends!"_

"Really? So friends just happen to ignore each other in the hall? Friends just greet each other and keep walking like they barely know each other? I don't think that's what a friendship is, Richie!"

This time, Richie groans.

" _You think I like having to act like that, Eddie? You think I like having to pretend? Well, I don't. I hate it. I can't stand it. All I want to do is hold your hand in public, but I just can't do that! And now you're off making all your new friends, and I'm just...."_

Richie trails off. Eddie starts to feel sympathetic towards him, but he quickly reminds himself that he's not in the wrong here, Richie is.

"Look, I get that. You know I do. But I'm tired of tiptoeing around with you. It's like walking on eggshells. I have no idea how to act around you at school, because each day brings something new. I just - I'll wait for you. I will. But I'm tired of not even being able to be your  _friend_ just because you're too scared of what people will think."

_"Eddie, you know what they'll do to me. They'll tear me apart-"_

"So let them! They're the stupid ones, not you! You should be allowed to be friends with whoever you want to. It's not their business. I understand that you're not ready to come out of the closet, and I'm not saying you should come out, but I am saying that being my friend shouldn't be such a difficult task for you-"

_"I can't be your friend!"_

Both boys are full on shouting by this point.

"Why _not_?"

_"How can I be your friend when all I can think about is kissing you?"_

Eddie shuts up at that comment.

Richie lets out a quiet sigh after a few moments of silence.

" _Eddie, I can't stand this situation. I fucking hate it. But this is how it has to be. We just.....we can't be friends at that school. No one will allow it."_

Eddie feels a rush of disappointment flood through his body, and he can feel his chest tighten.

"They won't allow it, Richie? Do you even hear yourself right now?" Eddie says quietly, beginning to feel numb.

" _Eddie-"_

Eddie hangs up the phone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? I know, I know. Super angsty at the end. But remember, their situation just wouldn't be realistic if everything was perfect and happy for them. However, the angst will not be lasting much longer, but right now it is very much needed. Happy times between the two will be coming soon :)
> 
> anyways, i'd LOVE some feedback on this chapter. I adore reading comments from you all. They make me so happy and they make me feel so inspired to continue. Let me know what you thought! New chapter coming soon! Thanks! :)


	9. Wild

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I finally have a new chapter for you all. I apologize for not getting these out that quick. I'll try to get these out much quicker from now on. Anyway, I really hope you all enjoy this chapter! Any and all feedback is welcomed. Thanks. Happy reading! :)

"The Winter musical is coming up. Any of you guys trying out?"

There's a murmur of snickers and scoffs from around the lunch table.

"Yeah, right," Stan mumbles as he pulls his sandwich and chips out of his lunch box. "I can't act to save my life."

"Well, there are other things the theater department needs help with," Ben says. "I'm thinking of signing up to join the backstage crew. You know, help with lights, props, audio. That sort of thing."

"H-hey, that a-actually s-sounds kind of f-fun," Bill suddenly perks up. "M-maybe we c-could all do it to-together."

Ben's face immediately lights up. 

"Yeah! I heard that they need a  _lot_ of help this year. I mean, they are doing  _Grease,_ after all. They've gotta have a lot to do, backstage wise, right?"

Everyone nods.

"Well, I guess that sounds okay. I'm in if the rest of you all are," Mike says, scanning Beverly, Eddie, and Stan.

Beverly shrugs.

"Sure. It gives me something to do. Plus, I've always wanted to try working stage lights," she says with a grin in Ben's direction.

Ben's face morphs into that of a child receiving their favorite toy on Christmas Day.

Mike turns to Eddie.

Truth is, Eddie would love to help out. He has spent way too much time pining over Richie the past few weeks. Ever since their huge argument over the phone, they've hardly spoken. They've given each other just a few greetings, if you even want to call them 'greetings.' Eddie can't lie, he misses Richie like crazy. But he just can't talk to him when Richie refuses their friendship at school. Eddie will not be some hidden toy. He could definitely use something to keep him distracted and occupied over the next few months.

"Yeah, that sounds great. I'd love to help out," Eddie says happily.

Finally, they all wait for an answer from Stan.

Stan huffs and finally grumbles out an, "I guess."

Eddie doesn't miss the way Bill lightly squeezes Stan's arm as the two boys stare at each other for a few moments, their cheeks flushing. He needs to ask Beverly about that later.

"Great! It's settled. Thank you, guys. It's gonna be fun. We can sign up after school," Ben says while excitedly waving his hands around.

Eddie smiles to himself. This  _will_ be fun.

He ignores a pair of eyes that are currently staring him down from across the cafeteria.

Looks like he and his friends were going to become a group of techies for a while.

* * *

 

"Hey, uh. Mrs. Strauss? My friends and I are here to sign up for your backstage crew for the uh...winter musical?"

The eccentric theater teacher, Mrs. Strauss, turns her head to the group of students standing at her doorway. Her face brightens.

"Oh! Oh, great! Yes, please come in! I have a sign up sheet right here," she says while beckoning them in. 

She slides a piece of paper that only has two names written down on it so far.

The group shuffles their way into Mrs. Strauss's tiny office, feeling like a huddle of penguins. 

Ben steps forward to sign his name first, and then the rest of them sign one by one.

"You all have no idea how much I've been needing more people to sign up for my backstage crew. We need lots of help. You all will be helping us out in so many ways," she gushes.

Everyone smiles in return and nods.

Mrs. Strauss stares at the paper for a few seconds, before she suddenly perks up even more.

"Kaspbrak. Which one of you is Eddie Kaspbrak?"

Eddie freezes, as all of his friends turn to stare at him. He slowly raises his hand.

"I am, ma'am," he says quietly.

"You play the piano very well, don't you?"

Eddie shrugs shyly. 

"Um, I guess so. I mean, I'm not really one to judge, so -"

"Oh, pish posh. Your music teacher tells me how great of a player you are all the time," she says with a large grin.

Eddie's eyebrows raise. Teachers actually talk about him? What the fuck?

"R-really?"

"Well, sure! Anyway, I have a bit of a favor to ask you. You see, my usual piano player got into a pretty bad skiing accident a few days ago, so we don't have a piano player set for Grease right now. Would you like to sub in?"

Eddie's brain immediately starts shouting, " _No, no, no."_

"Um, with all due respect, I don't really think I'm the right student who should -"

"Eddie is a  _fantastic_ player. He should definitely be the piano player for the musical," Beverly cuts in.

"Yeah, I agree," Ben says.

Ben hasn't even heard him play before.

Eddie snaps his eyes to the two of them and glares. Beverly shrugs and smirks. The rest of his friends simply stare at him hopefully.

He sighs, before turning back to Mrs. Strauss who is still waiting for an answer.

"Okay. I'll do it," he says.

"Oh, marvelous!" She replies as she claps her hands in excitement. "I already have all the music made too. Let me go print out some copies for you," she says before leaving the room.

Eddie huffs.

"Way to go, Beverly!" He hisses.

Stan and Ben begin to chuckle and Bill and Mike simply grin happily.

"Yeah, you should be thanking me. Now everyone at the school is going to be able to see how talented you truly are," she smiles.

"Yeah, whatever," Eddie grumbles as he silently sulks all by himself.

* * *

 

"Auditions for the musical start in two days," Beverly says as she lounges on Eddie's bed.

"Yeah? So?" He replies from his spot at his desk. 

He's been going through all the music Mrs. Strauss gave him, marking certain parts and circling certain notes, just so he can really get a feel for what he will be playing.

"You didn't hear?" Beverly questions.

Finally, Eddie takes his eyes off the music and turns to Beverly.

"Hear what?" He replies impatiently.

" _Richie_ and  _Heather_ are trying out for Danny and Sandy."

Eddie's heart stops for a moment. Shit. No. This can't be happening. If Richie gets that damn role, that means he and Eddie will be involved in the same musical. Meaning Eddie will have to be  _near_ Richie for the next few months. Not only that. But he'll have to watch him parade around with some chick who will be playing Sandy. He doesn't need that in his life right now.

"Well, I hope he doesn't get the part," Eddie simply says.

Beverly laughs loudly.

"Eddie. Where's the support? Come on, this is your crush we're talking about here, remember? I thought you'd  _love_ to see him wearing a nice leather jacket with his hair nice and gelled," Beverly teases.

Eddie sighs.

"No thanks. Besides, imagine Heather playing Sandy? We would never hear the end of it from her," Eddie says.

Beverly groans.

"Ugh. You're right. That would be a disaster."

* * *

 

"The cast list came up this morning. Did you all see?" Mike asks everyone at the lunch table.

There's a nod of the head from everyone.

Eddie didn't even want to think about it.

He saw who got which parts this morning when he passed the theater department. And just like he knew would happen, the two people who he dreaded possibly getting those leading roles, _got_ _the leading roles. Of course._

_Richie Tozier - Danny Zuko_

_Heather Winstead - Sandy Olsson_

* * *

"Places! Places, everyone. Hurry up! Let's run it again!" Mrs. Strauss shouts loudly in the auditorium.

Everyone scatters to their respective spots on stage, and Eddie quickly re-adjusts his music to begin playing again.

"Come  _on,_ students! Our opening night is this Friday! We don't have time for these careless mistakes anymore!"

Eddie sighs to himself.

Their opening night is in just a few days. He's tired.  _Exhausted,_ actually. The past two months have absolutely drained him. His hands are cramped from the constant playing every single day, and his head feels like it's going to explode any second. However, what hurts most is his  _heart._ Because for the past few months, he's had to watch Richie and Heather parade around as such a happy couple. Right. In. Front. Of. Him. 

Eddie and Richie sometimes spoke. However, it mostly consisted of Richie trying to make small talk with Eddie during rehearsal breaks, and Eddie not replying much. If their situation was different, Eddie would talk to Richie nonstop. However, he knew that the only reason Richie would talk to him during rehearsals is because he could make it seem like he was just talking to Eddie about the musical. No one thought it was weird when they spoke at rehearsals, but as soon as they were in the school hallways, they suddenly couldn't talk anymore. He hates that Richie only talks to him in an environment where he feels like he won't be judged for it. 

However, Eddie can't deny Richie's raw  _talent._ The boy is a perfect Danny Zuko. He could sing, dance, and act damn well. Eddie never knew Richie had all of that in him. No one did. They were all just as impressed as Eddie. Heather, on the other hand, was a whole other story. While she could act and dance decently, her singing was just not on par with Richie's at all. She could barely keep up with him. She struggles often with their harmonies too.

"Look, if we can get one more good run of this song without any mistakes, I'll let you all go home early today. How's that sound?"

There's a chorus of cheers from around the auditorium. Mrs. Strauss nods.

"Good. Come on, think of poor Mr. Kaspbrak. He's the only one here who has been able to go over and over again without messing up once. I'm sure he's very tired of waiting for you all to catch up. You should be thanking him," she announces.

Eddie freezes as all eyes in the auditorium stare at him.

He coughs and reaches his hands forward to move his music around a little more, even though it's already placed perfectly. He glances up and makes eye contact with Richie, who's smiling softly down at him.

"Yeah, I agree. Eddie seems to be the only one who really knows his shit," Richie announces out loud to everyone. He gives Eddie a big grin.

There's a round of chuckles and giggles from everyone and they all turn to give Eddie a grateful smile.

Eddie's shocked. Richie actually acknowledged Eddie in front of everybody. That's a first.

He makes the mistake of glancing at the person standing right next to Richie. Heather is staring down at him with her eyes narrowed, silently judging him. Eddie gulps and stares at his music instead.

Mrs. Strauss stands in front of everyone and gestures wildly with her arms.

"Alright. From the top!" 

* * *

 

As they finish their last group number, there's a thunderous applause and loud cheering from the crowd. Everyone immediately stands to their feet, giving the cast of Derry High's Grease a standing ovation.

Eddie's couldn't help but feel a swell of pride in his chest. He's proud of himself for all the hard work he's put in, and he's proud of his friends for the amazing stage work they're doing. He's even proud of the entire acting cast, including Richie. Countless hours of rehearsals certainly paid off. Even Eddie's mother, who is still pretty upset with him, is currently standing up and cheering.

After everyone takes a handful of bows, the curtains finally close and everyone begins chatting and hugging each other before cleaning everything up.

Eddie walks to the piano and begins gathering all of his music. He feels a tap on his shoulder, so he turns around to come face to face with Richie.

"Eddie! You were amazing out there!" Richie says loudly before giving Eddie a quick hug.

Eddie suddenly realizes just how much he misses the curly haired boy.

He grins back at Richie because he's just _that happy_ right now.

"You were too, Richie. Seriously, you were aweso-"

"Richie! Come greet my parents. They want to see you," Heather suddenly shouts as she slides up and grabs Richie's arm, pulling him away from Eddie.

Eddie just barely manages to catch the apologetic look on Richie's face before he's dragged off.

Eddie sighs, but he's quickly brought back to a good mood when all of his friends run up to him and hug him one by one. 

"Eddie! You did such a great job!" Stan gushes.

"Thanks! So did you guys," he says as he gestures at the group of his friends. "All of the technical things look spectacular," he says honestly.

"One performance down, two more to go," Beverly says with a large smile.

She and Ben are holding hands. They began an official relationship a few weeks ago. Eddie couldn't be happier for the two of them. They make a fantastic couple.

"There's an after party that everyone is going to," Mike says. "Are you guys going?"

Bill and Stan nod. So do Beverly and Ben. Mike turns to Eddie.

"Oh, I don't think so," Eddie says. "You know parties aren't really my thing," he says quietly.

Beverly wraps an arm around him.

"Come on, Eddie. We'll all be there with you. It'll be fun!" 

"Yeah," Bill nods. "We won't leave y-your side."

Mike, Ben, and Stan nod in agreement.

Eddie thinks about it for a few moments and finally nods.

"Okay. Fine, I'll go. But I might show up a little late. I need to run a few things on the piano before I leave," he says.

His friends nod and smile.

"Okay, well just let us know when you get there and we'll meet up with you," Ben says kindly.

Eddie nods with a grin.

"Will do."

* * *

 

The auditorium is quiet now. 

Eddie had dragged the piano to one of the practice rooms backstage to play for a little bit, and he's just finished up.

As he exits the room, he's startled to see someone on the stage running over a few dance moves. He's shocked to see that the person is Richie. All by himself.

Eddie watches him practice for a few minutes, before he begins to feel like a creep.

He's not sure what he should do. Should he talk to Richie? That would probably be the smart choice.

"You were amazing tonight, Richie," he says.

Richie whirls around so quick he almost falls down. He holds a hand up to his chest.

"Holy shit, you scared the fuck out of me. I didn't know anyone else was still here," Richie says while breathing deeply.

"I stayed after to practice some piano stuff. There were a couple of times I messed up a little bit tonight."

Richie shakes his head.

"You were perfect," he says as he stares intently at Eddie.

He walks towards Eddie slowly.

Eddie gulps and also takes a few steps forward. It's like his body is moving on its own accord.

Once they're a few inches apart, Eddie speaks again.

"Why aren't you at the after party?" He whispers.

Richie shrugs.

"I needed to practice a little bit too. I messed up a couple times tonight," he responds.

Eddie can't believe how good Richie looks right now. He's still in his stage costume. His hair is wild and his stage makeup is running ever so slightly from his sweat. Eddie can't stop staring.

"I don't believe that," Eddie says. "You are such an amazing Danny Zuko, I am absolutely blown away by how talented you are."

Richie's eyes light up at the compliment and he stares at Eddie in awe.

"You really think so?" He asks shyly.

Eddie quickly nods.

"Of course. Why would I lie? Doesn't Heather tell you the same thing?"

Richie stares down at the ground and shrugs his shoulders.

"Not really. She usually tells me that I need to just practice more."

Eddie almost snorts, because  _really,_ it's definitely Heather who needs to be the one practicing.

"Well, I don't think you need any more practice. I've seen how hard you've been working the past few months. It's paying off. The audience loved you tonight."

Richie grins widely and takes another step forward, crowding up into Eddie's space.

"Thank you, Eddie."

The tone in his voice shocks Eddie. He sounds so  _serious_ and  _passionate._

"Eddie," Richie suddenly whispers. He reaches a hand up and cups Eddie's cheek, his thumb lightly running against Eddie's bottom lip.

"Y-yes?" Eddie quietly answers. He can barely breathe, let alone speak.

"Eddie. I miss you so fucking much. I-I just, I want. I want-"

And Richie says no more because he's suddenly surging forward and crashing his lips against Eddie's.

Eddie sighs into the kiss and immediately responds, moving his lips with Richie's perfectly. Richie wraps his arms around Eddie's waist, and Eddie tangles his fingers into Richie's curls.

They kiss passionately, and  _hard._ Their tongues battle for dominance, as their bodies press closer and closer. 

"R-Richie," Eddie breathes when their lips separate.

Richie presses their foreheads together as they both fight to catch their breaths.

"I'm sorry, Eddie. I'm so fucking sorry. Please, please, please forgive me. I miss you so much. Give me another chance. Please," Richie pants.

He sounds close to tears, which makes Eddie's heart ache for the boy.

"Richie. It's okay. It's gonna be okay. I'm here, sweetheart. I'm here," he responds as he wraps his arms tight around Richie, holding him.

Richie presses their lips together again, but this time, their kisses are long and sensual and slow. Eddie turns his head to deepen the kiss, causing Richie to groan deeply.

 

"Come to the after party with me," Richie whispers against Eddie's lips.

Eddie nods, as they continue to kiss each other over and over again.

"Okay," he replies.

They smile at each other and link their fingers together.

Neither of them notice a pair of eyes watching them from the entrance of the auditorium. Neither of them hear the sound of the door closing once that person leaves.

They're too caught up in each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you guys think? Let me knoooow :)
> 
> I really hope you guys are still enjoying this story! I really appreciate all the comments and kudos.
> 
> Also, keep in mind that this chapter took place over the span of two months (from early December to late January). So this means that Eddie and Richie did not speak much at all, and they both spent that time developing on their own. Their conversation after the play was pretty much their first real conversation in a while, and obviously because Richie was almost crying while apologizing to Eddie, this shows that he truly misses him (meaning he'll be having some MAJOR character development coming very soon!). And Eddie OF COURSE misses him too. Just wanted to clarify a couple things. :)


	10. On Melancholy Hill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally back with a brand new chapter for you guys! I hope you enjoy it. Never forget, if you have any questions about the story, you can always comment down below and I will clarify things the best I can. Anyway, happy reading! :)
> 
> Btw, thank you soooo much for those of you who are sticking by my side through this story. I really appreciate everyone who has been reading and leaving comments on almost every chapter. It keeps me so inspired and I love to make you all happy. Thank you so much!

The next few weeks, Eddie notices something. Something  _weird._ Something  _off._

Richie is acting differently. However, this time, it's not only Eddie he's acting weird around, it's around  _everyone._

He's a lot more quiet and reserved and he doesn't linger around in the hallways with Heather and all their friends like he usually does. Heather seems to notice it too, always looking around for her boyfriend in the halls.

"-and we haven't even gone on a date in weeks," Eddie overhears Heather saying to Richie one day in the hallway. "You didn't even sit with us at lunch yesterday. I don't know what the hell is going on with you," she says harshly with her nose upturned.

Yeah, Eddie also noticed that he stopped sitting with Heather and all her followers. 

"I just need a little bit of peace and quiet," Richie sighs. 

"You're avoiding me. Avoiding everyone," she states angrily.

"I'm just  _tired,_ okay? I'm not avoiding anybody," he replies in a frustrated tone.

Eddie stares across the halls at Richie, the few times he sees him at least. The taller boy hardly makes eye contact with him, or anyone for that matter. The rare times he does make eye contact with Eddie, he simply gives him a soft smile before disappearing down the hall. Eddie wonders what's going on in that boy's head, wonders what's making him behave so strangely.   

Today, for example, he's watching as Richie slides up to his own locker by himself and begins switching his books out, not turning to smile or greet anyone that passes him. Eddie's eyebrows scrunch together, debating with himself whether or not he should try going up and talking to him. However, the thought leaves his mind as soon as a hand roughly pushes him into the set of lockers, causing him to drop all the books he was holding and fall on the floor. He hears laughter and when he glances up, he sees Henry Bowers and his gang standing over him, giving each other high fives. Eddie feels slightly disoriented. He shuts his eyes and shakes his head slowly, and when he opens them up, Richie is there too.

And he looks  _furious._

"Eds," he says, his eyes running over Eddie's face, checking for any injuries. "Are you okay?"

"What?" Eddie says in reply, too stunned at the fact that Richie's hands are currently on his shoulders, despite the fact that a large group of students are now forming around the two of them.

"Bowers!" Richie shouts when he sees the boys sauntering down the hallway, still laughing.

Henry, along with his gang and a few jocks, turn around at the sound of Richie's shout. Henry smiles.

"What's up, Tozier?"

"Apologize," Richie demands, and most people would laugh at the fact that Richie is trying to demand something out of Henry, but he looks  _so_ serious, that no one makes a sound.

"What?" Henry exclaims, completely baffled. 

"I said,  _apologize."_

"For  _what?_ "

"For shoving Eddie," Richie replies, before his face darkens. "But mostly just for being an asshole."

There's a silence in the hallway. A dead, dark silence. Even Eddie is struck, completely silent as he stares up at Richie in shock. From the corner of his eye, he notices Heather covering her mouth with her hand.

"What's your fucking problem, dude?" Henry asks.

"My problem has to do with you and your fucking attitude,  _dude,"_ Richie mocks.

And it seems like Richie is truly set off. Whatever has been going on with him the past few weeks seems to come to a head, like some sort of extreme fury is bubbling and boiling and for some reason, Henry shoving Eddie is what finally set him off.

"Eddie's never done anything to you, yet you continue to treat him like shit. Well, you know what? I'm  _sick of it,_ " Richie snaps. "So apologize. Now."

"I'm not going to apologize to a fucking fairy," Henry scoffs. "You're fucked if you're actually defending him, man."

"He is a  _human being_ , and if you don't stop this shit right now, I'll break your fucking nose."

Henry laughs loudly.

"Do you even hear yourself right now? He's  _nothing._ He's a  _nobody._ " 

"Eddie is my - " Richie cuts himself off for a quick second before continuing. "He's my  _friend_. I'm a student at this school and so is he, so this stops now. We're all fucking equal."

Henry's eyes darken, and he slowly steps forward, until he's only a couple inches apart from Richie. He's not as tall as Richie, but he's definitely a lot stronger and much more built. Eddie's heart pounds like a frightened rabbit as he watches the two boys eye each other threateningly. More and more students crowd around to watch what will happen next.

"I think you should check yourself, Tozier," Henry warns lowly. 

"And I think you should shut the fuck up and apologize to Eddie for being such a dick."

What happens next happens way too fast. Henry launches a single punch to Richie's jaw in a split second, and Richie clearly doesn't see it coming. The punch causes him to stumble back, though he doesn't fall down. There's a collective gasp from the crowd of students. When Richie regains his balance, he spits on the ground and everyone can clearly see that he spit blood. 

Richie throws himself at Henry, knocking him to the floor before he begins pounding at the boy's face, throwing punch after punch. Henry fights back just as viciously, but only a few seconds later, there's a few teachers grabbing both boys off the ground and hauling them to the principal's office. 

Once the boys are out of sight, the hall dissolves into whispers and rushing clatters of feet as all the students begin walking to their next class.

Eddie remains on the floor, staring at the spot where Richie was just standing.

"Eddie!" Beverly rushes through the crowd and is on the floor next to Eddie in seconds, followed by Ben and the rest of his friends. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I -" Eddie says. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"That was-"

"I know," Eddie cuts her off. "Let's just - let's go to class."

Beverly gives him a single nod and helps him up off the floor. Eddie ignores his friends' concerned glances, too busy trying to analyze Richie's recent behavior.

Something is definitely  _wrong._

* * *

 

Later, when Eddie doesn't see Richie at all in the halls, he finally heads to the nurse's office. He skips his last class of the day to see the taller boy. Once he slips in, he finds Richie propped up on one of the beds behind a curtain, staring blankly at a wall with his arms crossed. At first, he doesn't even seem to notice he's got a visitor. 

"Hey," Eddie says softly, shuffling on his feet awkwardly.

At the sound of Eddie's voice, Richie turns and his eyes seem to refocus. A small, but tight smile appears on his face.

"Hey," he answers.

"I didn't see you at lunch today," Eddie says. "I was worried that you might've gotten expelled or something."

"Nah. Henry got a three day suspension for punching me. I didn't since I didn't throw any punches. But his punch made my teeth cut into my lip pretty hard and I guess I'm getting a pretty bad bruise so the principal sent me here instead."

Eddie nods, not really sure what else to say right now. Richie actually stood up for him today. In front of  _everyone._ He took a punch on Eddie's behalf. He even insulted Henry Bowers of all people in front of the whole student body. 

"Thank you," Eddie whispers. "For what you did this morning."

"I should've said something sooner."

"Don't say that. What you did was brave."

"Maybe," Richie shrugs. "I had to try something."

"Well, thanks, anyway," Eddie says again.

They both fall quiet and Richie's eyes lower to his own lap as he laces his fingers together, avoiding Eddie's eyes. He appears to close in on himself.

"I know this probably isn't the best time to ask.." Eddie begins nervously. "But......are you okay? Not with the - the fight, or whatever, but just....in general. It seems like you've been really distant. I just...want to make sure you're okay."

Richie gives a deep sigh. He lets his arms drop to his side and he leans his head back against the wall, and it seems like all the tension in his body has melted at the movement. When he looks at Eddie again, there seems to be an extreme pain in his eyes that's so intense. Eddie's heart beat picks up at the look. He now notices the purpling circles under Richie's eyes, hinting that the curly haired boy must be  _exhausted._

He looks miserable, sitting there with a cut lip and a bruised jaw, with what seems like the judgement of the world on his shoulders.

"I'm sorry," Richie says quietly. "You're right, I have been distant. But I can't talk about it. Not here, at least. Later."

"Um....coffee shop after school today?" Eddie asks, attempting to be discreet. 

"Sounds good," Richie replies, before he closes his eyes again and leans his head back. 

Eddie stands from his spot at the edge of the bed, not at all ready to leave Richie alone when he looks so awful. But maybe the nurse will let him sleep for a little bit. He clearly needs the rest. He slips out of the little room and heads back down the main hallway, biting his lip to keep the tears from rushing up. 

He has a dreadful feeling that what Richie is going to tell him won't be good at  _all._

* * *

"So," Eddie says later that day as he and Richie sit across from each other at the coffee shop. "What's going on?"

Richie swallows, Eddie can see the bob of the boy's Adam's apple in his throat. His hesitation to the question worries Eddie.

"I lost it today," Richie begins. "And I'm really sorry you had to see that. I didn't mean to let myself get so out of control but when that stupid kid pushed you and nobody said a damn thing...I sort of just..."

"Snapped?" Eddie offers.

"Yeah," Richie sighs. He rubs his hand along the back of his neck. "Things have been really complicated and confusing for me lately. I tried to take some time to myself to figure it all out, but I guess it didn't really work. I never meant to ignore you completely. You were the one I wanted to talk to the most, actually.

"I understand," Eddie assures. "But you have been ignoring Heather, too."

"And she's so  _mad_ because of it," Richie groans. "With how much she goes on about personal space, you'd think she would really understand when to give another person the same respect. Turns out when I'm the one that needs the personal space, I'm just a terrible boyfriend who hates his girlfriend."

"Yeah," Eddie nods. "I can see that."

He feels so bad for Richie. Heather treats him so terribly.

"She's been on my back for days," Richie says. "She keeps saying I'm ignoring her and that I don't really love her if I'm not ready to drop everything and have a movie marathon the second she wants to. God, I almost said it the other day, you know. I almost said I didn't love her anymore. I could've ended things right then and there but I didn't. I didn't and I feel fucking terrible and stupid about it. Why didn't I end it?"

"Wait..is that...a rhetorical question?" Eddie asks, truly confused.

"I don't even know," Richie admits. "Do you have an answer?"

"Well, I think it's because she's become a habit in your life," Eddie says slowly. "You've been with her for a long time now, and you might be scared to think about suddenly ending it."

"But I don't  _enjoy_ anything about the relationship anymore. I hate it. It's tearing me up inside, Eds. Pretending is too hard."

Eddie can feel the worry in his chest. This conversation can go one of two ways: Richie can end things with Eddie and put a distance between them until he's ready to come out... _if_ he's ready to ever come out, or he can end things with Heather and continue to see Eddie in secret until he finds the courage to tell his friends about his sexuality. Neither option sounds that great at this point because he doesn't want Richie to have to pretend at all anymore. But it isn't his call to make. All he can do is be supportive, with open arms.

"I-I know you're pushing yourself to make this all okay," Eddie says, voice filled with concern. "But just seeing you like this....it breaks my heart."

"I'm sorry," Richie whispers, his eyes lowering to his hands.

"You don't have to be sorry. It's just killing me to see you this unhappy," Eddie continues. "I see how miserable you are, Richie. I can see your pain."

"I don't want to be miserable anymore."

"Don't torture yourself like this," Eddie says.

"But I don't know what to do anymore," Richie says. "I'm too much of a coward to end things with her."

"You're not a coward," Eddie immediately argues. "Look, I know you. I'm not saying you should come out tomorrow or something...but maybe soon. Maybe soon the moment will arise."

"But I can't even break up with my girlfriend for the sheer fact that I'm not into her anymore. How am I supposed to tell the whole world that I'm gay?"

"You don't have to tell the world. The whole world doesn't matter. Just those close to you. But I think if you ended things with her first, it might not be so bad."

"She would never let it end that easily," Richie reminds. "You know she won't. That's been our problem from the very start."

"But she obviously knows that something is wrong now," Eddie says. "You've been distant and quiet and you can just tell her that your feelings for her have changed and you don't want to be together anymore. It takes two people to make a relationship, not just one. You have a say in this, too. And no one will know the truth. They'll just think that Heather is crazy and you just couldn't stand her anymore."

Richie exhales heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose. He opens his mouth to say something, but closes it at the last second. This peeks Eddie's curiosity. 

"What?" What is it?" Eddie asks.

"There's something else," Richie says.

Eddie feels his stomach drop.

"Someone else knows," Richie says. "Someone else knows about us. That's why I - why I started acting so off and pulling away from everyone. It was just too weird to be around her after she told me she knew about the two of us."

"Who? Eddie demands. "Who knows?"

"Gretta."

Eddie's face pales. 

"Oh, shit."

* * *

**_Three Weeks Earlier_ **

"Hey, giraffe."

Richie Tozier spins around to see Gretta Keene approaching him as he unlocks his car in the school parking lot. Her expression is almost unreadable. The short skirt she wears flits around her in the wind, and she pulls her coat tighter around her body. It's weird because Richie used to try to jerk off to the image of Heather in a skirt that short, but every time, his vision of her would end with Eddie instead. Richie almost grins as he think of Eddie. Sweet, gorgeous, perfect Eddie. Maybe later they can grab some ice cream together. Yeah, that sounds like a great evening. But he stops himself from fully grinning, to save himself from getting a weird reaction out of Gretta.

"Hey, Gretta," Richie greets. "Did you need a ride home or something?"

She shakes her head.

"We're going for coffee," she says as she gestures behind her. A couple of jocks and cheerleaders are standing there waiting. Richie grimaces. No thanks.

"Uh..that sounds nice and all, but I sort of have some things to do."

"What? Like Kaspbrak?"

Richie drops the textbook he'd been cradling in his arms. He freezes, feeling like he's just been kicked in the ribs. A satisfied grin creeps onto Gretta's face. She winks, before putting a finger up to her lips to shush him.

"So," she says. "Coffee?"

Richie immediately shakes his head.

"I'll tell you what. How about you and I go get that coffee by ourselves? I'll ditch the rest of them," she says.

Richie gives her a worried expression.

"I didn't tell them anything," she reassures. "Look, I'll even pay for your coffee. Now, let's go."

* * *

 

Richie has never been as nervous as he is right now. He taps his fingers against his cup as he impatiently waits for Gretta to return from the bathroom. He briefly considers leaving the shop to save himself from their conversation, but then he finally sees her emerging from the restroom in a different outfit.

"You changed," Richie says.

He hates that he tends to point out the obvious when he's nervous. It's one of the smaller things about himself that he finds extremely annoying. He wouldn't share that fact with anyone, though. Except Eddie, of course. Eddie knows everything about him.

Damn, he needs to find a way to stop thinking about that beautiful boy so much.

"I have somewhere to be once we're done here," she shrugs. "Wanted to be in a more comfortable outfit," she says.

"That's cool," Richie stammers. "Uh, I like your shoes. Very nice color. Were they on sale or did you -"

"We're not here to talk about me, Tozier."

"Listen," Richie says. "I don't know why you think -"

"Cut the bullshit, Richie," she interrupts. "I  _know."_

"About what?"

"That you're  _gay_ ," she replies plainly.

"W-what? I'm not-"

"And I know about you and Eddie."

At first, Richie just stares at her, wondering how on earth she could've found out. He and Eddie were doing an extremely good job at staying private. However, he soon realizes that he's being way too obvious with his reactions so he tries to play it off with a shake of the head and a chuckle.

"You're crazy," he says. "There is nothing going on between me and Eddie."

"Your nose is growing longer when you say that, Pinocchio." 

"We're just friends," he clarifies. "We go for coffee and we sometimes study together. That's it."

"Really? Because I've never seen you two together here before. And I'm here  _a lot._ "

"We - we go somewhere else."

"Because you don't want anyone seeing you two together."

"Yeah. No! No, that's not what I meant. Look, you know how people are around Eddie. If they saw us together, they'd think exactly what you're thinking right now. That we're  _dating._ But we're just friends, and we want to be friends without anyone judging us."

"So, when your tongue slips into his mouth during your study sessions, that's not gay at all?"

"We're not  _together_ like that."

"Jesus, this is pathetic," Gretta groans. She leans forward. "I know, Richie. You two have been fooling around, probably for some time now and I think there are definitely feelings involved. I've seen the way you two stare at each other in the hall. You look at each other with bedroom eyes, but I can tell that you both are trying to keep it undercover."

"Would you just stop?" Richie hisses. 

"Not until you admit it."

"I'm not admitting anything, so just stop. Please stop."

"I have to wonder if Heather knows," Gretta continues. She leans back in her chair, looking completely relaxed and peaceful. "Honestly, she totally seems like the kind of girl who would agree to be your beard as long as she gets to watch you make out with Eddie. I'm sure it gets her real excited. And speaking of making out, I happen to remember a real steamy kiss you shared with Eddie at Heather's party. Is that when it all started? You get your first taste of boy tongue and you were sold? Once you go gay, there's no other way?"

"If you keep talking, I swear to God, I will punch you in the boob."

"Then I'll cut your dick off," Gretta replies with a loud laugh. 

"Fuck," Richie growls. "What do you want from me?"

"When did I ever say I wanted anything from you?"

"It's obvious that this is some type of blackmail. So what is it? Do you want money or something?"

"Trust me, Tozier. I don't want anything from you."

"Then why are you even talking to me right now?"

Gretta's eyes cut away from his for a second, and she looks around the make sure no one else is listening. She sucks in a breath, then nods and leans forward.

"Because I think I am, too."

Richie stares at her blankly.

"...Wait what? You're....you're sleeping with Eddie too?"

" _What?_ No, you little - ugh, I'm  _gay."_

She falls silent after that, eyes locked on his, not even blinking in case she might miss Richie's reaction. 

Richie has to admit, he's a bit caught off guard at the confession. Last time he checked, she was hooking up with guys left and right. The longer he thinks about it, though, it starts to make more sense. Gretta definitely seems like the type of person to lash out at others when she feels insecure. He thinks that for Gretta, sleeping with guys means she gets the title, "Slut" or "Whore." Maybe she's okay with that. Maybe she thinks it's better than being called a dyke. He cringes at the language.

"Why are you telling me this?" He asks softly.

"Because you need to be careful," she says. "I'm all about being all you can be, but I know what it feels like to want to come out but not be able to in fear of the backlash you'd receive."

"You - do you think anyone else knows about me? About me and Eddie?"

"I think others may start to find out if you don't stop being so fucking obvious. I mean, seriously dude. Eddie bent down to pick up a piece of paper the other day and you _openly_ stared at his ass even though Heather was standing right next to you."

Richie flinches.

"Was I that obvious?"

"It was like your eyes and his ass were magnetic. You couldn't look away even if you tried to."

"Fucking hell," Richie says.

To be fair, Eddie's ass had looked perfect that day. He was wearing jeans that were so _tight_ , but he still managed to look graceful while wearing them. How was Richie supposed to ignore that?

"I really don't understand why you don't just break up with Heather and make Eddie your main man."

"Because Heather would start World War Three if I tried," Richie says. "It'd be apocalyptic." 

"Hm. I understand that. She'd fight tooth and nail to keep you, unfortunately. As long as she has you, she's on top. She wouldn't let that go easily."

"It's getting so hard, though," Richie starts. He feels weird talking about this, especially to Gretta of all people, but the cat is already out of the bag, and now that he's started talking, he can't stop. "It's getting harder to pretend like I love her and it's getting harder to stay away from Eddie. He's been so fucking patient with all of this and I feel like shit for keeping him on the side...I'm just not ready."

"And that is why I don't do relationships," Gretta says with a soft smile.

"I thought you had a boyfriend a few months ago?" 

"Yep. And look where I am now? I'm all about the vagina."

Richie laughs. A few seconds later, Gretta joins in.

"Look," she finally says after they settle down. "I'm just trying to do a solid by warning you that you're getting close to instigating some rumors about yourself. If you're not careful, you and Eddie will become the talk of the town. Not in a good way."

"I don't want that," Richie immediately responds worriedly. "I can't have the truth come out like that. Not when I'm not ready. And - and Eddie. He doesn't deserve any of this shit."

"Then be careful. That's all I'm saying."

* * *

 

**_Present_ **

Richie heaves a deep breath as soon as he finishes the story. He can see the worried look in Eddie's eyes. It's silent for a few seconds before Eddie finally speaks. 

"You were staring at my ass again?" Eddie asks with a teasing grin, trying to ease Richie's discomfort.

"That is so not the issue right now," Richie says, though he can't help but laugh.

"So she knows," Eddie says with a shrug. "It doesn't sound like she's going to tell anyone. Though, her being a lesbian totally makes a lot of sense. I've been seeing her and that cheerleader named Abigail looking pretty cozy lately. Cozier than usual."

"You don't think she'll accidentally let something slip out about us?"

"No," Eddie says. "You know her. She wouldn't let something like that slip. Especially if you've got her dirt now too. It wouldn't make sense for her to even mention the two of us to anyone else."

"Yeah, I guess," Richie says. "It just creeps me out, you know? Like, I see her a lot. And she sometimes sits near me at lunch. I just hate siting there when she's only a few feet away, knowing that she knows. It's weird."

"Is that why you've been skipping out on lunch?"

"It made me nervous for a while," Richie admits. "I kept expecting her to drop the secret like a bomb. She does like to cause shit sometimes."

"I don't think she'll do that this time, though."

"Yeah, you're right," Richie says. "I'm just worried."

"So, after you talked to her, that's why you started pulling away? Because of all the stuff she said about being careful?"

"I guess it make me think about the things I've been doing and how I've been acting around Heather. And it made me think about how much I'm - how much I'm hurting you in this process."

"Richie," Eddie says firmly. "The only thing that hurts me is seeing you so miserable all the time. I've told you a thousand times - I understand that you're not ready to come out right now."

"But you have to put up with me sneaking around and spending time with Heather when I should be spending time with you!"

"Then break up with her," Eddie says. "I just don't really have any other advice to offer."

Richie sighs before he reaches a hand across the table and holds Eddie's hand. 

"I know. I'm sorry. I just can't help but think you deserve better than this. But than I feel guilty because I don't want you to be with someone else because  _I_ want you."

"You have me," Eddie promises. "I'm not going anywhere."

"You're sure?" Richie asks, sounding small and afraid. Eddie just wants to wrap the boy up in his arms and never let go. He want to tuck him into bed and crawl in next to him.

"I swear."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! :))
> 
> Also, Gretta knows about them. Only because she noticed how they openly stared at each other too much. HOWEVER, this means that we still don't know who caught them kissing on stage after the Grease performance :))) uh ohhhh...who could it be??? ;)


	11. My Kind of Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, hello there! So yes, I have completely dropped off planet Earth for a while there. I apologize for that. Life happened haha. 
> 
> But do not fret! I have not given up on this story. The amount of feedback I'm still receiving makes me so happy and proud of this story. I'm not entirely sure how many more chapters this story will be having, but I do know that I'll be wrapping it up soon. Maybe three to four more chapters and then we'll be done. I can't keep dragging their relationship on forever, can I? Lol. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read and comment. I appreciate it so much! I read each and every single comment, so never think that I ignore your comment if I don't get the chance to respond. I seriously appreciate the feedback greatly.
> 
> Anyway, enough of my rambling. Here's a brand new chapter for you guys!

By the time Eddie finally returns home from getting coffee with Richie, (and making out...just a little bit, though) he's  _exhausted._ And he hasn't even started on his homework yet.

He groans to himself and creeps up the steps to his room, thankful his mother is snoring loudly in her favorite chair. Once he reaches his door, he easily turns the knob and pushes the door open.

The second his eyes meet his bed, he almost drops all of his belongings from fright, because  _Beverly_ just so happens to be lounging on his bed with an easy smile on her lips, seeming to see no issue in laying in a bed that isn't her own.

" _Bev!_ What are you doing here?" Eddie hisses.

She sits up, her smile still ever so present.

"What? A girl can't visit her best friend? I'm hurt," she pretends to wince as she clutches at her chest.

"Did my mother let you in? Why didn't you text me? Is everything okay?" Eddie begins to get worried.

"Don't worry, Eddie. Nothing's wrong," she reassures. "I'm good. Also, I snuck in through the window."

Eddie's quiet for a few moments, but he finally nods and relaxes. He eventually gives her a grin and sits on the bed next to her.

"So, what's up?" He asks her.

"Oh, same old, same old," she replies with a chuckle. "School, work. Hanging out with Ben. The usual."

Eddie nods.

"It feels like forever since we've truly hung out. What the hell?" Eddie says aloud, mostly to himself.

It's true. Ever since all the  _Richie_ stuff began, he feels like he's been abandoning Beverly, his  _best friend._ And not only her, but all of his friends. Bill, Ben, Stan, and Mike. He suddenly feels terrible.

Beverly grasps one of Eddie's hands in her own, squeezing gently to comfort him.

"I think it might be because you're invested in  _someone else?_ " She asks with a pointed stare.

Eddie freaks out for a split second, but then he realizes, that  _yeah,_ everyone saw the debacle between Richie and Henry today. Everyone including Beverly, who had been the first one to help him when Richie and Henry were dragged off. So that means she  _definitely_ knows something is up now.

He hasn't told her a single thing about he and Richie. He feels terrible. What kind of friend keeps such a huge secret from his best friends? Beverly deserves to know everything. She wouldn't judge him, she would help him. But now that he knows she knows, he feels like a weight has been lifted off of his shoulders. He feels like he can tell her  _everything_ now.

"Yes," he breathes. "And I'm so, so,  _so,_ sorry I didn't tell you anything. Please don't be mad at me, please don't hate me. I wanted to tell you, trust me, I did. But I was afraid of what'd you say, and, and, and-"

"Eddie!" Beverly cuts in, putting her hands on his shoulders and gripping them lightly. "Calm down. Take a few deep breaths. I'm not mad at you for not saying anything. I'll admit that I'm a little  _hurt,_ but I could never hate you. You know that," she says.

Eddie closes his eyes and breathes a sigh of relief. He takes a few deep breaths just like she said to do. 

"Now," Beverly begins quietly. "I can tell you have a shit ton of things to tell me. Why don't you start from the beginning?"

Eddie nods once and finally starts to tell her the very beginning.

"So...it all started the night of Heather's party."

* * *

 

Three days later, it's after school and Richie is staying after to hang out behind the main building for a while. Despite how shitty the high school is, the back of it actually has a pretty nice sight. Lots of green trees surround the area, with several rays of sunshine peeking through them. Richie sometimes likes to just sit behind the building and think.

Eddie went home not too long ago. Richie was able to convince him to allow the two of them to sneak a few kisses back there, but he ended up having to go because he had a planned library date with Beverly.

He smiles at the thought of the smaller boy. He's so  _perfect._ Everything Richie could ever want in one single human being. He doesn't know how he managed to score somebody as amazing as Eddie, but he's grateful for him. He also knows that he'll have to come up with a plan soon. A plan that will end up with Eddie and himself dating happily ever after, while Heather is eaten by a dragon or something.

He laughs softly. If only real life could actually be like the fairytales he saw on television growing up. 

He doesn't really care, though. Even if he came out and everything turned to complete shit, Eddie was worth it. Eddie was worth being relentlessly bullied every single day. He was worth being called every name in the book, or being told that he'd "burn in hell".

None of that mattered because at least he'd have the one person by his side who actually  _matters_ to him.

He knows what he has to do. He has to figure out a way to come out soon. He can't keep hiding. He can't keep hiding from himself, or from everyone at school. He needs to be honest.

And he needs to be honest  _soon._

The back door swings open, startling Richie out of his thoughts. He whips his head to the side, only to meet eyes with Stan Uris. He immediately relaxes, knowing Stan is no threat to him. Only a good friend.

"Stan the man," Richie greets.

Stan rolls his eyes, but steps outside, letting the door swing closed behind him. He quietly slides down to sit next to Richie, resting his chin on his knees.

"Just Stan is fine, thanks," Stan says dryly.

"Sorry," Richie says with a grin. He claps Stan on the shoulder. "What can I do for you?"

"Just one little thing," Stan immediately responds. He raises his head off his knees and turns to stare Richie right in the eye. "I want you to tell me what's going on between you and Eddie."

Richie gasps so hard, that he begins to choke. He coughs wildly, his whole body shaking by the force. Next to him, Stan sighs softly and reaches into his backpack to grab an unopened bottle of water, before handing it to Richie.

"I figured you'd need some of that," he says as he watches Richie chug down the water.

"I uh," Richie finally begins after he is able to breathe again. "I don't really know what you're talking about."

Stan gives him a poker face.

"Richie, cut the crap. What happened today? What was that about? Just tell me. Seriously, you don't have to hide anything from me. I won't tell anyone anything," Stan says honestly.

And if there's anyone who would be an amazing secret keeper, it's Stan. And Gretta, surprisingly. 

"I mean, I was just defending a fr-"

"A friend?" Stan interrupts. "Come on, Richie. I think you and I both know there's more than that to this story. Keep talking."

"Look, I'm not really sure what you're looking for here. I mean, Eddie and I are friends.  _Friends._ "

"Friends?" Stan repeats.

Richie nods quickly.

"Hm," Stan nods.

For a second, Richie thinks that Stan may have actually started to believe him, but then of course, it's  _Stan._ There's no such thing as lying to Stan. He's able to see past anything.

"So..uh. We good?" Richie finally says, still desperately trying to make Stan just drop it.

"So you and Eddie are friends," Stan states instead.

Richie huffs and nods again.

"Yes," he snaps, beginning to get frustrated. "We're friends. I just said that!"

"Then why did I happen to walk in and see you and Eddie kissing on the stage after our opening night of _Grease_?" 

Richie freezes. 

This somehow feels exactly like the situation between he and Gretta, but this is even  _worse._ Because Stan has  _seen them._ Meaning there really is no going back either.

At Richie's expression, Stan seems to soften for a moment.

"You......saw....us?" Richie finally manages to get out.

Stan nods.

"Yep. I walked back in the auditorium to grab my coat that I left behind. Guess I had the perfect timing, huh?" Stan says with a soft smile.

Richie stares at him for a few seconds, before he squeezes his eyes shut and drops his head back against the brick wall and groans loudly.

"Fuck!" He snaps. "I knew we should've been more careful."

Stan puts a hand on his shoulder comfortingly.

"Don't worry so much about it," he says.

Richie lets out a humorless chuckle.

"Don't worry about it? What the fuck do you mean 'don't worry about it'? Don't you - don't you get it? What if this gets out to everyone at the school? I just, I haven't come up with my plan yet. I want to do it myself -"

"Richie! Please calm down. You're just going to stress yourself out. Look, drink more of your water," Stan hurriedly says as he pushes the bottle of water towards Richie's face.

Richie downs a few more big gulps. 

"Just talk to me about it. It's clear that trying to keep this all bottled in is having a negative effect on you, both physically and mentally. So just tell me. It'll make you feel a lot better. I promise," Stan clarifies.

Richie nods shakily. For some reason, he suddenly feels an overwhelming sense of emotion rush over him, and he feels tears prick at his eyes. Before he knows it, he's crying.  _Hard._ Sobs wrack through his body, and he begins gasping for breaths. 

He realizes that this is the first time he's actually letting out his own emotions over this entire situation. For months now, he's kept everything bottled inside, but now, everything is being unleashed. In front of Stanley Uris of all people.

Richie feels Stan's arms wrap around him, and Richie's head immediately drops forward to lay on Stan's shoulder. He's soaking the boy's shirt, but Stan doesn't seem to care. 

"Shh," Stan whispers. "It's going to be okay. I promise. It's going to be okay."

"I-I'll tell you," Richie finally says. "I'll tell you everything. Just promise me you won't tell anyone else. I-I can't -"

"I promise," Stan says firmly.

Richie wipes at his eyes for a few moments, trying his best to calm himself down before he begins speaking. Finally, he turns to Stan and begins.

"It all started the night of Heather's party."

* * *

 

"Wait, so  _Stan_ knows?" 

Eddie and Richie are getting coffee again a few days later. 

Richie nods.

"Yeah. He, uh....saw us kissing on stage that one night," Richie says awkwardly.

"On the opening night of _Grease_?" Eddie questions, his eyes wide with fright.

"Yeah," Richie responds. "I guess we weren't really watching out."

Eddie nods stiffly, before he suddenly sighs.

"Well, since you admitted that you told Stan everything, I guess it's only fair to tell you that I told Beverly everything too. That's...okay, right?"

Richie almost laughs at Eddie's face. He looks so  _afraid._

"She's your best friend, Eddie. It's only normal that you'd want to tell her everything," Richie responds with a reassuring smile.

Eddie seems to visibly relax. He leans back in his chair with a small smile. God, he's so  _gorgeous,_ Richie thinks. 

"God, you know what we should do?" Eddie suddenly says as he perks up. "We should get drunk this weekend. Just let loose. Forget about all of this shit for a while."

Richie's eyebrows shoot up. 

" _You_ want to get drunk? And... _have fun?"_ Richie teases.

"Shut up," Eddie laughs. "I'm being serious. I think it'll be good for the both of us."

Richie shrugs.

"I don't know....I just don't really know if I'm in the best of moods for that."

* * *

 

"This was the best idea  _ever!"_

Richie's words are slurred as he and Eddie stumble out of the bar, hanging on to each other and laughing loudly.

"I..I told you," Eddie responds, his words just as slurred as Richie's.

The two ended up going to the bar to dance and have a  _few_ drinks. But two drinks turned into four, and then four drinks turned into about nine or ten. And now, both of them were  _drunk._

"You're just so perfect, Eddie. You're so perfect. So pretty," Richie says as he pats Eddie's cheek lightly. 

Eddie giggles loudly.

"No,  _you're_ the pretty one. You have such pretty hair and-and you have the best cheekbones. And your lips..don't even get me started on how great your lips are," Eddie slurs.

They dissolve into a fit of giggles again as they begin walking down the street together. Thankfully, Eddie's house isn't too far from the bar.

"I'm so happy we did this, Eddie. Thank you," Richie says a bit more clearly. 

Eddie turns to look at him right in the eye, his own eyes shining with happiness.

"You're welcome," he responds quietly.

Time seems to stop between the two of them. Everything around them disappears as they stare at each other with complete love and adoration. 

Richie realizes in that moment that he would do absolutely  _anything_ for the boy standing only a few inches from him. Absolutely anything.

"I love you," Richie suddenly breathes. He didn't mean to say that, but it just popped out. He meant to say something along the lines of, "You're amazing," or "You mean so much to me".

Well, it must've been his drunk mind spitting out the truth, because Richie knows that it  _is_ true. He does love Eddie. A lot.

Eddie doesn't even seem to be too taken aback. His eyes widen for a split second, before they return to normal. A smile grows on his lips and he's suddenly leaning forward.

"I love you, too," Eddie whispers, his lips just a few centimeters from Richie's.

Richie closes the gap in between the two of them, pressing his lips to Eddie's. Eddie smiles into the kiss, reaching his arms up to wrap around Richie's neck. 

Richie wraps his arms around Eddie's waist and lifts the smaller boy off the ground, twirling him around in the air.

Eddie breaks the kiss to giggle loudly.

Richie's heart aches because he's just so  _happy._

Everything is right where he wants it in that moment.

* * *

 

The following Monday, when Eddie returns to school, he walks into the main hallway with a bright smile on his face. His weekend with Richie had been  _amazing._

He didn't want it to end. But things are finally a bit more settled down for the two of them, and he has a feeling that Richie is getting closer and closer to coming out or at least breaking up with Heather.

That thought makes Eddie somehow grin even more. 

His cell phone buzzes and he sees a text from Richie, telling him 'good morning, good looking.'

Eddie chuckles and sends him a quickly reply before pocketing his phone.

However, he suddenly notices how everyone seems to get quiet when they notice him. He notices that all eyes are on him now. He begins to hear whispers and giggles aimed towards him.

His eyebrows scrunch together, because  _why is everyone looking at him like he committed some kind of horrible crime?_

He keeps walking, trying his best to ignore all the stares and whispers.

He finally reaches his locker. He quickly opens it and begins grabbing his books for his first class of the day.

He shuts his locker, and suddenly, Beverly is there, staring down at him with wide eyes.

"Eddie," she says seriously.

And now, Eddie knows something is wrong because Beverly is  _never_ this serious.

"What?" He responds softly.

She immediately holds up her phone, and Eddie's eyes widen comically when he sees what's on the screen.

It's a picture of him and Richie.... _kissing._ A picture of them from the other night, when they kissed after leaving the bar.

The caption with the picture says, "Derry High's resident fairy, Eddie Kaspbrak, seems to be getting pretty cozy with Derry High's rockstar, Richie Tozier. Seems like Richie has forgotten all about his girlfriend, the one and only Heather Winstead. Has she been a beard this entire time?"

"There was a mass text of this sent to everyone this morning," Beverly says. "Oh, Eddie."

Eddie covers his mouth with his hand, choking back a sob.

His head is spinning, he feels like he could faint.

And somehow, everything seems to get even worse in that second.

Because Richie strolls into the hallway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't hate me??:))


	12. Walk in the Park

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello!!!! How are you all doing? Hope you're doing very well. 
> 
> I have a fantastic gift for all of you!! A NEW CHAPTER! Yayyyy! lol jk. 
> 
> But I really do hope you guys enjoy this one. I will be wrapping this story up soon. I'm still not sure how many more chapters I will be having but no more than five for sure. It will most likely be three to four. 
> 
> Lastly, thank you so so so much to everyone who is still reading and taking the time to leave comments. It seriously means so much to me!!! Love you all so much.
> 
> Anyway, HAPPY READING!!! :)))))

This is terrible.

There's a fraction of a second where Richie looks  _happy._ He's glowing, and his smile is bright, his eyes shining. He looks so earnest and genuine. It reminds Eddie of how the taller boy looks when the two of them are together. Only the two of them, no one else in the world existing. When they don't have to hide their looks. When they can just look straight into each other's eyes with pure love and admiration.

And then that smile is gone.

As if someone doused him with gasoline and lit him in flames, his smile is gone just as quick as it was there. His dark brown eyes dart around quickly, drinking in the glares he's currently receiving from all of his peers as he steps inside quietly. No one is even whispering anymore. They're just staring him dead in the eye, offering no explanation at all. 

Eddie notices how Richie gulps and shifts just a little bit, leaning all his weight from one leg to the other. It seems as if he's afraid of moving, but he's even more afraid of standing still. 

He looks so small and nervous, like a baby animal getting caught in a trap, and Eddie feels stuck. He has no idea what he should do. If he should walk over to Richie and explain what the hell is going on, or if he should remain at his locker, just so he doesn't risk furthering the rumors even more. 

Even if they're really not rumors anymore.

But Richie just keeps standing there, hands clutching the straps of his backpack so tightly, Eddie can see his fingernails digging in to his skin. 

Eddie wants to literally cry.

"This isn't a zoo, you  _dumbasses!"_

Suddenly, Gretta is there, throwing her arms around as she strides down the hallway with purpose and determination. She glares at the students as she passes, clearly ready to start an argument if they so much as murmur one word.

"Why don't you all get a life and keep walking! There's nothing to see over here, losers," she yells.

People begin to scatter quickly. Just as she's about to pass Eddie, she grabs the front of his shirt and tugs him after her. He can only follow. However, only seconds later, she grabs Richie by the arm too, and drags them both out of the doors that Richie had just entered.

"This is so not how I wanted to spend my morning today," she says when they're finally outside and away from everybody else. "But I guess we all have to do things we don't want sometimes, huh?"

"W-what's going on?" Richie suddenly mutters nervously. His eyes dart to Eddie for a split second. "Why was everybody staring?"

"Remember when you were all worried about the  _truth_ being let out?" Gretta begins quite nervously. "Well...looks like it's kind of....or  _very_ out."

"What - but - t-the truth -  _that truth?_ " Richie says hysterically. 

"Yep. The truth about you and Eddie sneaking off this past weekend to get drunk together at that gay bar and then being all over each other outside in the parking lot? Yeah, that truth," Gretta answers.

Richie's face goes sickly pale, which is really saying something because the boy is already pale as snow. He looks like he's about to faint.

"How - how do you know about that-"

"The whole entire school knows," Gretta states as she yanks her phone out of her pocket and quickly pulls up the picture everyone had received. She shoves her phone into Richie's hands. "Looks like you two are the talk of the school. Normally, I'd congratulate you, but in this case, I should probably just keep my mouth shut."

With shaky hands, Richie finally takes in the photo on the phone. His eyes grow comically large, and his lips part. He lets out a futile moan of despair. He scans the picture over and over, taking in every single detail.

"But who - who would do something like this to us?" Richie states quietly.

"One of Heather's jock gorillas has been parading himself around all morning," Gretta says. "Apparently, he was driving past the bar when he saw the two of you. Pulled over and snapped a quick pic. Just had to send the photo to everyone in case anyone doubted him."

" _Why,_ though?" Richie asks, his voice barely above a whisper. He finally looks up from the phone and Eddie's heart shatters when he can see a sheen of tears in Richie's eyes. "Why would he do something like this?"

"Because he's a stalking little dick without a life of his own," Gretta mutters angrily. "He doesn't really need any type of motive to be a douche."

A single tear slips down Richie's cheek. Eddie has to physically shove his hands into his coat pockets to stop himself from reaching out and wiping it away. Richie tries to take a deep breath, but it comes out as more of a shudder. He closes his eyes for a few seconds and then tries again.

"I don't - I don't know what t-to do," he whispers in a pained voice. "I'm terrified."

Gretta's face immediately softens. She wraps a hand around Richie's arm.

"I'm sorry," she says softly and so genuinely. "I really,  _really_ am."

Richie lowers his head and Eddie can quickly tell that he's sobbing based on the shaking of shoulders. Gretta stares sadly at the boy for a few seconds before she turns to look at Eddie with a pointed stare. It's not a mean stare, it's simply a stare that is telling him he needs to do something to help Richie.

Eddie nods once and takes a deep breath.

And then Gretta walks away from them and heads back into the school, leaving the two boys alone.

Eddie looks back to Richie, and that's when he knows he's at a complete loss here. He's not sure how to be the strong one. He still doesn't even know if he should reach out and comfort Richie, or if that would just make things even worse. Richie won't want anything to do with him now. Because Eddie has completely ruined him. He ruined any and every good thing Richie had. He ruined Richie's relationship with Heather. He ruined Richie's popularity and social standing, and he's ruined the two of them. He never should have let himself get involved. They shouldn't have gotten involved together.

If they hadn't ever gotten involved, they wouldn't be here where they are now. The entire school wouldn't know anything and everything would be just fine.

Well, things would be fine for Richie. Eddie would probably be torturing himself every day, wishing he did get involved with Richie.

But he has to make things right. Because Richie doesn't deserve any of this.

"I'll tell everyone it all me," Eddie says, his voice not nearly as strong as he was hoping it would be. "I-I'll tell them that I made you come with me to the bar. And I'll tell them that I got you drunk and forced you into kissing me. I'll say you were so drunk, you didn't know where you were or who you were with."

Richie's blood shot eyes find his. 

"Wait,  _what?"_ He asks.

"They already treat me like I'm trying to convert all the guys here anyway," Eddie says, though he's trying to convince himself. "It'll only be a few more months here until graduation. Then I'll be gone and none of this will matter anymore. I-it'll be hard to tell my mother about all of this, and even if she treats me even worse than she already does, that's okay. I'll do whatever it takes to make sure no one knows the truth about us -"

"Eddie," Richie says again, louder and more firm. He's got his hands on Eddie's shoulders now, giving him a light but firm shake. " _Stop it_."

"But you-"

"I would never, ever,  _ever_ let you do something like that," Richie states, even though he's still crying a bit. "Never. Do you understand me?"

"But what are we supposed to do?" Eddie asks desperately. "They know, Richie. Everyone knows.  _Heather_ knows."

"I know," Richie replies, wiping at his tear-stained face. "I don't - maybe I should just go home. Maybe we both should just go home."

"I don't really think it's going to get any easier tomorrow," Eddie reminds him. "We'd just be postponing the inevitable."

"The way they were - the way they were staring at me," Richie whimpers. "It was like - it was like they thought I was going to - to  _infect_ them or something."

"I know," Eddie whispers.

"Is that how it really is?" Richie asks. "Is that how difficult it is for you every single day?"

Richie is looking at him, silently asking him to ease the pain. But Eddie can't do that. They're not living in the lie they've been living the past few months anymore. Richie has practically been shoved out of the closet, and things might get really bad now. Eddie can't do anything to ease the pain because there's no way he can protect Richie from a world of judgmental assholes.

"You learn to ignore it," Eddie says dully, dropping his eyes down to the ground.

"Oh,  _Eddie_ ," Richie breathes, sounding absolutely heartbroken. 

He throws himself at Eddie, clinging desperately as he continues to sob and shiver in fear. Eddie can feel his own sob threaten to escape his lips, but he can't cry. He needs to be the strong one. Everything is about to change for Richie, whether he likes it or not, and Eddie promised he would be there for him whenever he finally came out. This isn't exactly how Eddie envisioned their relationship coming out, but the secret is out now and there's nothing they can do except try to wade through it and try their best to keep their heads above water.

But Eddie doesn't even know if Richie will still want him after all of this. Not after he's already ruined everything else between the two of them. It hurts, but he feels like he should tread carefully to make sure he doesn't mess anything else up. 

"Maybe I should go," Eddie finally says. "If I'm not here, maybe they won't be so harsh."

"Please don't go," Richie whispers against his shoulder, sounding like a frightened child. 

"I just - I've already messed up so much for you," Eddie attempts to explain. "I think it'll do more damage if we do anything together."

Richie suddenly gasps. He pulls away to stare at Eddie in disbelief.

"Wait a minute, wait. Y-you don't want to be with me anymore?" He asks.

"Of course I want to be with you," Eddie assures. He cups Richie's face in his hands. "Don't ever think that I don't want to be with you. But things are going get very difficult. And I feel like I just make things worse by being here. I figured you'd want to part ways while you figure things out."

"That is the complete opposite of what I want," Richie says firmly, curling his fingers around Eddie's arms.

"I just don't want to do anything else that might risk even more shit."

"I can't do any of this without you," Richie says.

"A-are you sure?"

"I've never been more sure of anything. Look, Eddie. You mean everything to me. Ever since that kiss at Heather's stupid house party, I knew that I wanted you. Only you. I've been hooked on you since and that won't be stopping any time soon. There were some days when I questioned all of this. When I thought to myself, 'Should I really be doing this'? There were some days when I thought things might be easier if you and I ended things. But then I would look you in the eyes for one second and automatically know that that isn't what I want at all. I want to be with you, Eddie. Do you want to be with me?"

"Of  _course,"_ Eddie answers immediately, tears in his eyes. "I do. So badly."

"Please don't leave me."

"I won't."

"You have to promise," Richie whispers, his lips only inches from Eddie's.

"I promise," pressing a kiss to Richie's forehead. "I swear. God, I swear."

"I just-" Eddie continues. "I was having this bad feeling that you'd want to push me away while you tried figuring things out yourself."

"I already tried that, remember? But it didn't work. It made me get punched in the face by Henry Bowers."

At that, Eddie bursts into giggles. He definitely needs something to laugh at right now. He loops his arms around Richie's shoulders and presses their foreheads together. Richie laughs lightly and sniffles. Despite the challenges that will for sure be facing them when they finally go back in that school, Eddie is relieved to know that Richie wants him still. 

"So no breaking things off," Eddie says.

"Absolutely not."

"And we're going to - to do this together."

"Together," Richie agrees, his voice quiet. His eyes cut to he school, and he looks afraid of what's looming on the inside.

"It'll be okay," Eddie attempts to reassure.

"But y-you don't know that for sure."

"No, I don't. But I do know that I'm right here with you every step of the way."

"What am I supposed to say to Heather?" Richie suddenly blurts, his eyes wide with terror. "W-where will I sit at lunch? Who will even talk to me?"

"Don't worry about Heather right now. That'll come later. As far as lunch, I've got a great group of people who will be more than willing to let you sit with us. I think you may know them," Eddie says with a soft smile. "We'll talk to you."

Richie nods with a grateful smile.

"But maybe we shouldn't, um-"

"What?" Richie asks.

"Well, you know. Act like a couple. Hold hands and things like that. Just for now at least. When this all finally blows over, we can. But I think right now it might be a little better to just act normal."

"Yeah," Richie says softly. "Yeah, I guess you're probably right."

"But I'll be with you the whole time," Eddie says. He grabs Richie's hand and places it over his own chest, right above his heart. "We're in here together, remember? Our favorite place."

With a quick, shaky nod, Richie presses a quick kiss to Eddie's lips.

They can do this.

* * *

 

Turns out, the majority of their classmates ignore them for the better part of the morning. Richie and Eddie do their best to not linger in the hallway during passing periods. They'd been shoved once during one of the passing periods, but Eddie had taken most of it, while Richie's shoulder barely grazed a locker. So far, Heather hasn't made an appearance, though Eddie thinks he may have seen a quick flash of her hair as she rounded the corner to go to the ladies restroom.

Beverly attempted to corner him to talk to him about everything, but Eddie had promised he would talk to her later when they weren't at school and gathering attention on themselves.

It isn't until lunch that things take a turn for the worst.

Eddie sits down at his usual spot with all of his friends, but Richie holds back. He clutches his lunch tray tightly and looks worriedly at the chair at Eddie's side.

"Is it okay - i-if I sit with you guys?" He asks everyone, expecting to be turned away.

"Oh, sit your skinny ass down," Beverly says, exasperated. "We're not  _mad_ at you, you know?"

Everyone nods in agreement, giving Richie a reassuring soft smile.

As they sit, Mike, Bill, Ben, and Stan immediately launch off onto a funny story that had apparently happened a week prior. Things are light, playful. Normal even. And Eddie is so happy to see a ghost of a smile appear on Richie's lips during one of the particularly funnier moments of the story.

Five minutes later, Eddie feels his heart drop, sinking somewhere around his eyes.

Four boys in letterman jackets crowd in front of them on the other side of the table. One of them grabs a nearby empty chair and turns it backwards, plopping himself down to where he's straddling it, ignoring the fact that he's completely unwanted.

"So," he says, a malicious glint in his eyes. "Is it true?"

His friends stand behind him with equal malicious grins.

His eyes are glued to Richie's face. 

"Is what true?" he asks, and Eddie can practically hear Richie's pulse speed up in sheer panic.

"Aw, don't play dumb," the jock sneers. "You know what I'm talking about, Tozier. That you're a homo. Are you really Kaspbrak's butt buddy?"

Eddie glares, wishing he could set the boy along with his friends on fire with just his gaze alone.

"I don't think that's any of your business," Richie weakly answers.

"Oh, but you see, it is my business," the jock states. "Because if you're gonna run off and be a fag now, I think some changes are going to have to be made in this school. And I think-" his eyes cut to the table where Richie usually sits, where a cheerleader has her arm around an unusually quiet and stone-cold Heather. "-that I wanna start with her."

"What-"

"I mean, if you're gonna be sucking dick now, then Winstead's legs must be open for business."

The jock receives a round of high fives from his friends behind him. Richie's fist clenches around the bottle of his water, and Eddie thinks he might crush it. 

"Don't mess with her," Richie says angrily.

"Why? You've got your little Kaspbrak homo right here. I can take Heather off your arms for you. I'll make it real easy. Unless, she doesn't mind being kept as a side piece."

"Shut the fuck up, Greg," Richie hisses.

"Why should I? I bet Heather needs a real man. Bet she'd look real good on her knees for me-"

"Heather is also a person," Eddie interrupts. "With morals and self respect, so just stop talking about her!"

"I don't think anybody asked you," Greg says.

"I don't care whether you asked me or not," Eddie states. "Richie's business is none of your concern and neither is Heather's. You're a pathetic excuse of a man, and if you think that for one second, Heather would ever want you, then you're one delusional idiot. Not go crawl back into whatever hell you slithered out from because no one at this table actually feels like listening to anything you have to say."

"Listen here, fucking fairy-"

"Do we have a problem here?"

Yet again, Gretta is here at their rescue, giving Greg the biggest bitch glare she can muster. Greg grunts in defeat, clearly not willing to take on whatever Gretta has planned.

"No problem," Greg says. He stands and gives a firm tug of his letterman jacket. "Just setting some things straight."

"Well you're obviously at the wrong table for that," she snaps in return. "Now get the hell away from them.  _Now_."

"Screw you," Greg mumbles, slinking off with his friends.

When they're gone, Gretta fixes them with a stare.

"You two really don't know how to lay low don't you?"

"I-it was him. Saying all of those disgusting things-" Richie begins but is cut off.

"I know. I heard him. But they're just trying to rile you up. Don't you get it? They want to make you mad so you'll fight back. They like to see you angry."

"They also like to see us cower," Eddie interjects. "We can't just do nothing."

"That's exactly what you're gonna have to do," Gretta says. "If you want to make it out alive, ignore everything they say. Don't let them get to you. Eventually, they'll realize that you're not worth their effort and they'll leave you alone."

She offers a hard look and then strides off, ponytail swinging in her wake. 

Eddie huffs in frustration. He doesn't want to just do nothing. But then he looks at Richie, who's shoulders are hunched in defeat and realizes that this isn't just about him anymore. He has to look after Richie. He has to be that strength and foundation that Richie needs.

He has to keep them safe. 

* * *

 

The atmosphere after school is tense. It's been a long day. Heather didn't attempt to talk to Richie once, and Richie the same.

Richie and Eddie are exiting the school together, when they come face to face with Heather and a couple of her cheerleader friends.

"Heather-" Richie begins before being interrupted.

"Believe it or not," she snaps. "I'm avoiding you. If I don't, I'll scream. So, just don't try to say anything.

"C-can we just talk about this?"

"What do you want me to say, Richie?" she erupts, throwing her hands in the air. 

"I- I don't know," Richie admits, clearly grasping at straws. Eddie can sympathize.

"Should I start with the fact that you lied to me?" She asks with an enraged, sarcastic bite in her tone. "Or maybe we should start with the fact that you've been cheating on me for god knows how long. Because I have to wonder how long you've been sleeping with him and then kissing me and telling that that you love me. Yeah, I think that's a good place to start. Don't you?"

She crosses her arms across her chest in defense. Eddie swallows hard, eyes cutting to Richie, wondering how the taller boy will approach this.

"It - it hasn't been that long," Richie says, voice quiet and sad. "Just a f-few months."

"Oh, is that all?" she snaps. "You've been with him for a few months and you've been having sex, even though you've barely touched me?"

"I'm sorry," Richie says, tears in his wide eyes. "I never, I didn't know why I - but I can't  _help_ it."

Heather's lips pinch together in a flat line. Her eyes harden in response and she remains quiet for a few, tortuous moments before finally speaking. 

"I know you can't help it."

Eddie's eyes widen.

"W-what?" Richie stammers.

"I'm not some ignorant bitch," she states. "I have two gay grandparents, if I do recall. I understand the fact that you can't help being gay. You are who you are."

Richie can't seem to find the words to respond, but tears begin streaming down his face. Eddie had always known that Heather would understand he was gay.

"I'm angry because you lied to me about it," Heather declares. "I'm angry because you didn't trust me enough to tell me that you were questioning or you were confused. We've been together for a long time, Richie. You could have talked to me about this. Instead, you both went behind my back, you went behind everyone's backs, and had some secret affair. As if we'd have a problem with it, especially when we all know Eddie is gay and we don't care."

Richie lowers his head and he squeezes his eyes shut. 

Eddie, on the other hand, lifts an eyebrow, challenging Heather's words. He's not about to let her pin this all on Richie.

"I think I'm going to have to cut in for a second," Eddie says.

Heather glares at him, obviously expecting him to keep his mouth shut. 

"You can say that you're open-minded all you want, but you can't stand here and claim that everyone here is as accepting as you claim to be."

" _Excuse me?"_ she snaps. She plants her hands on her hips. 

"Last time I checked, you've never once said a nice word to me. Neither have any of your friends. You guys won't even talk to Beverly because you all know she's my best friend."

"We invited you to my party, remember?" 

"Richie invited me to that party," Eddie reminds her. "You put up with me that night because you were drunk off your rocker. I won't let you stand there and pretend like you're ready to wave the rainbow flag every day, and tell Richie that everyone would've accepted him for being gay. He's seen the way you all treat me. Hell, before we even started seeing each other, you all made him believe that people like us should be treated in that way. You can say you're supportive all you want, but you don't do a damn thing to actually support me or anyone else in this school because you're too worried about how you might look if you did."

"I - I am perfectly supportive!" She screeches.

"You're passively accepting," Eddie says. "You pretend that people like me don't exist, because it's easier to ignore me than to actually accept me."

"I would have understood if he talked to me about it!" She says, pointing at Richie. "I'm not like everyone else here at this school."

"You're worse," Eddie says. "Because you just pretend. How was Richie supposed to be honest with you when he's seen the way you and your friends treat me? How was he supposed to talk to you when he knew you'd just end up ignoring him too?"

"Well, seems like our whole relationship has just been a huge lie so I guess it doesn't really matter," she says.

"But it wasn't. Heather," Richie jumps in. "I loved you. It just...wasn't that kind of love. I didn't know it at the time, though."

"Then you should have said something."

"How was I supposed to know?" he asks, shrugging his shoulders. "I didn't even know I was gay. I didn't know it was even a possibility. I didn't know I could feel this way about boys."

"Why didn't you just break up with me, then?" She snaps.

Uh oh.

Richie stutters, tripping over his own words. 

This is not going to end well.

"I thought - fuck," he mumbles. With a sigh, he finally admits the truth. "I didn't think you'd let me go because I knew how much you wanted to be popular. So I didn't break things off because I figured you'd fight me and try to convince me to stay, even though I didn't want to."

Eddie looks at Heather, attempting to gauge her reaction. Her eyes widen and her mouth opens, preparing to say something in response, and then it snaps shut.

Her eyes water.

"I can't believe you. That's what you think of me? That I'd just try to keep you around in order to be popular? I thought you actually loved me. How could you do this to me?"

"I'm sorry," Richie says quickly. "I was confused and scared and I didn't know what to do. You always held on so tight and-"

"I thought you liked spending time with me, even if I was a little controlling-"

"More like a tyrannical dictator," Eddie interrupts.

Heather glares at him.

"Not helping," Richie whispers.

"What? I'm not going to let her blame all of this on you," Eddie says, unapologetic. "Look, I'm just going to say this because Richie will dance around it and try to be nice and let you guilt trip him next week. The fact is that Richie is gay. And yeah, he screwed up, we both did. He should've broken up with you instead of sneaking behind your back. It was wrong and immoral and whatever else you want to call it. But you can't fault him for being scared or worried about how you and everyone else would have responded to any of this. If he had told you and you had understood and you had let him go with some sort of blessing, someone else would have found out. You probably would've told someone, and then they would've told someone else, and then before we know it, everyone knows. He was outed. He didn't come out. He isn't at fault for assuming that you might freak out and not let him go. Jesus, you got mad at him because he didn't want you jumping into his arms. You were suffocating him, Heather. And you were doing it while he was already confused and trying to figure himself out so yeah, this all ended badly. For everyone. But he isn't a bad person for leaning on me when I was the only one to show him real support and real acceptance. If you think it was easy to hide all of this from everyone and pretend like we weren't ridiculously happy with each other, then you're wrong. Do you have any idea how hard it was to watch him kiss you or put his arm around you? Because I was dying inside. But I understood that it wasn't about me. It was about him. So don't you dare make this about you. Because now, everyone is going to treat him like he's less than what he is while everyone coos over you and says  _I'm so sorry_ and  _He was never good enough for you_ because you're pretty and you're popular and you're heartbroken. Meanwhile, he can't even hold hands with the person that he likes because the person that he likes happens to be a guy. So fuck you, Heather Winstead."

By the end of it, Eddie is breathless and panting and angry. He had no idea that he had so much pent up rage that needed to be let out, and okay, maybe that last quip didn't need to be said, but it's already out there. It's a little too late to take it back now. Heather stares at him in shock, eyes so large, like she’s in a horror movie and she just witnessed someone be killed right in front of her. 

Richie, on the other hand, has similar wide eyes, though he has his hand covering his mouth to hide his shock.

"On that note," Eddie concludes, "I have a coffee date with Beverly. Richie, I'll talk to you later. Heather, I hope you'll actually listen to whatever Richie has to say to you."

And with that, he strides away from them with his head held high, feeling better than he has all day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow wow wowwww!! What did you guys think? this was a longer chapter. btw, i don't agree with Gretta's point of view on "laying low." Coming out is a personal choice which people handle differently. there is no right or wrong way to handle it. Gretta's stance on it is one of many. I think she just stands by that because she isn't out herself yet, and she fears what might happen if she is, so she wants to just lay low.
> 
> Let me know what you thought!! :))


	13. Begin Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helllllllo everyone!!!! How are you all doing? Hope you're doing fantastic. I have a brand new chapter for you guys. I really hope you all enjoy this one. It's a good one. also, I'll only be having one more chapter after this one! I'll wait until then to get all mushy and emotional, but I just wanted to let you know that this story is definitely just about done. 
> 
> Thank you for all the kudos and comments. I appreciate them so much. Much love for everyone who's stuck by this story so far. You guys are the best.
> 
> Happy reading!:))

The feeling of cold water splashing against his face made Eddie feel a thousand times better than he had all day.

He was finally at home, and thankfully, his mother had gone out with a friend for a few hours. He could actually have a little bit of peace and quiet. The only person he would enjoy having right next to him right now is Richie, but he knows the taller boy has a few things to sort out before he can do that.

Eddie sighs, dropping face first onto his bed once he dries his face and exits his bathroom. His body immediately sinks into his sheets and he lets a blissful smile spread across his face. Things are hard right now, and they will certainly be hard for a while longer, but right now, in the silence of his own room, Eddie finally feels like he can truly relax. 

His eyes quickly start to feel heavy, and he feels them drooping shut. Right before he closes them all the way, he cracks an eye open to make sure he hasn't received any calls or texts from anyone. When he sees that his phone is completely void of any calls and texts, he feels himself drift off into sleep in only a matter of seconds.

He feels a very familiar hand running itself through his hair. It's definitely  _ Richie's  _ hand running through his hair right now. But Eddie's not entirely sure if it's a dream, real life, or somewhere in between. But all Eddie knows is that it feels  _ amazing.  _ So amazing that he can't even open his eyes to try to figure out if it's real life. He sighs sleepily and snuggles deep into his billow. Suddenly, he hears a chuckle from somewhere above him, and then he feels that hand drift down until the back of the fingers are lightly caressing his cheek. 

_ Okay, this isn't a dream, is it? _

Eddie slowly opens his eyes and glances around his room, until he sees the person he had just been thinking he was having a dream about, sitting right there on his bed, caressing his face. Eddie's eyes widen a little bit, because Richie just looks so  _ gentle  _ and his smile is so sweet and serene. Eddie almost forgets about everything that happened today, because right now, Richie looks as if there's nothing wrong in the world.

"R-Richie?" Eddie croaks softly, his voice still sleep heavy.

Richie's face somehow softens even more.

"Yeah," he whispers in reply. "Yeah, it's me."

Eddie feels himself grin.

"How'd you get in?"

"Your window was unlocked. I've noticed that you tend to forget about locking it. It works for me, though. Means I get to sneak in whenever I want," Richie jokes.

Eddie snorts.

"Yeah, right. How long have you been in here? Oh god, I didn't make you wait for me to wake up for hours, did I?"

Richie immediately shakes his head in response.

"No. I've only been here for about twenty minutes. I just didn't wanna wake you, though. You looked too cute."

Eddie's face flushes. He bites back a smile.

"Whatever," he says instead, though he's melting inside from the compliment. "So. How did everything go with...y'know Heather?"

Richie's quiet for a few moments, seeming to ponder. Finally, he takes a deep breath and answers.

"Surprisingly, not that bad. I really think your super badass speech really got to her. We're......I think we're going to be fine. Maybe we can be friends, maybe not. But either way, I don't think she hates me. So I guess that's good."

Eddie nods to himself.

"Are you okay with that?"

Richie nods.

"Yeah. I mean, it'd be nice to have her in my life as a friend, considering I've been close to her for so long now, but if she doesn't want it, I'll learn to live with it. I won't blame her."

"Yeah," Eddie replies. "I'm really happy for you, Richie. And I'm so proud of you. With how you're handling all of this. You're handling it so well."

Richie's eyes begin to water, but this time, instead of sadness, Eddie can tell, that it's due to happiness.

"I couldn't have done any of it without you, Eds. Seriously, what you said to Heather earlier was....so amazing. And not only then, but also standing up to those stupid jocks earlier at lunch. No one would have ever stood up for me like that. So thank you for that. Really. I just....when you were going off on Heather, I could tell that it wasn't because you were necessarily angry at her in particular, it was because you were just so angry at _ everything.  _ You looked so  _ passionate _ because you were standing up for what you believe in. You have so much courage, way more than me. But right there in that moment....as I saw you unleash all your fury and anger.....I think I fell in love with you all over again."

Eddie's heart soars at Richie's words. Richie is right. His speech to Heather was really meant for  _ everyone  _ who has a problem with Richie and himself. Every single homophobic asshole who can't handle the fact that two boys might be in love with each other. Eddie feels his own eyes begin to water, and he quickly sits up and wraps his arms around Richie, who quickly returns the hug.

"I love you, Richie. So much. You don't even know."

The two boys cling to each other tightly, almost like they're afraid of what might happen if they let the other go. Richie leans back from the hug a few inches to stare right into Eddie's eyes. Eddie feels overwhelmed with emotion at Richie's gaze. It's so strong and full of passion and love. Eddie doesn't think he's seen something so beautiful.

Richie's eyes glance down towards Eddie's lips, and before either of them know it, they're leaning in and attaching their lips in a kiss. Eddie sighs into the kiss and wraps his arms tight around Richie's neck. Richie's large hands grasp at Eddie's hips. They kiss, and kiss, and kiss, because they're finally able to be open without having to hide. Sure, they're going to have lots of problems in public, but not having to keep each other a secret seems to make up for all of it.

Richie breaks the kiss, and fiercely says against Eddie's lips, "I'm all yours, Eddie. All yours. I don't even care how hard things will be at school. Just know I'm all yours, no matter what."

Eddie feels a burning heat low in his abdomen when he hears Richie's words. His heart feels like it's about to burst.

"We're each other's. We belong to each other. Forever," he replies just as passionately.

The rest of the week at school doesn't get any easier. At all. 

Every single student still treats Richie and Eddie like they’re freaks. Well, they’ve always treated Eddie like one, but now they’ve seemed to double the hatred, as if they think Eddie is some weird gay boy who likes to convert straight boys.

However, when Friday finally rolls around, there finally seems to be some sort of light that appears at the end of the tunnel for Eddie.

He’s switching out his books at his locker, when he suddenly feels the presence of multiple people standing right behind him. Thinking it’s his friends, he smiles and quickly turns around.

“Hey, guys -”

Eddie’s smile immediately drops when he notices that it’s not his friends standing there. It’s a group of jocks and cheerleaders, the same ones who have been making dirty faces at he and Richie all week. But this time, at the very front of the group, is none other than Heather “Main bitch” herself. She has her hands on her hips, as she looks at Eddie evenly.

Eddie clears his throat and smooths his shirt down, suddenly feeling very insecure and small. However, he quickly reminds himself that he can’t let them tear him down anymore. He needs to stand his ground. So he straightens his back and looks right back at Heather and her pack of wolves.

“C-can I help you?” Eddie asks, immediately cursing at himself in his mind for the stutter.

Heather doesn’t say anything for few moments, and with each second that passes, Eddie can feel himself shrinking more and more under the gaze of the group.

Finally, Heather sighs deeply and speaks.

“Look, Eddie. I….I don’t really know how to say this. But I’m…..sorry, I guess,” she begins before she huffs. “No, I don’t guess I’m sorry, I  _ am  _ sorry.”

Eddie can’t believe his ears. There’s no way that Heather fucking Winstead just apologized to him. And not only that, but in front of her own gang. Eddie feels his mouth drop open.

“I’m sorry?” He asks, needing her to repeat exactly what she just said. He has to hear it again.

“I’m sorry,” she says again, softer this time. “I’m sorry for….the way we all have been treating you and Richie. I’m sorry for being such a bitch to you all these years. I’m just….I’m sorry for everything.”

Eddie’s mind is running a million miles per second. He can’t even believe he’s hearing what he’s hearing. But he takes in Heather’s expression, and he can see how  _ genuine  _ she’s being.

“I know you’re probably wondering where all of this is coming from,” she continues. “I just - after everything you said to me yesterday, I guess it just...opened my eyes and made me realize what a shitty person I’ve been for a long time. I didn’t used to be this way. You’re right. Ever since I started dating Richie, the popularity came, and...it felt good. I soaked it right up. But somewhere along the way, I let it shape me into the person I am now. Which isn’t a good person at all. I can barely stand looking at myself in the mirror. I just...I owe you an apology. A big one. And I’m here to do that. I brought all of my...friends because they’re sorry, too.”

She gestures behind her and notices that while a lot of them are sporting blank, almost emotionless faces, a few of them actually do look guilty. Eddie’s heart melts at the sight. It feels so... _ nice  _ to actually see the people who have been tormenting him for years, actually look like they feel guilty for doing any of that.

Eddie can’t wait to tell Richie about all this.

“I know this doesn’t immediately make us besties for life or anything, but..I just hope you know how sorry I am. And I promise….I won’t ever,  _ ever  _ do anything mean or bitchy or harsh to you again. From here on out, I only want to be as kind as I possibly can. I mean that.”

Eddie knows she does. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen her look more honest and truthful than she does in this second.

“Um. Thank you,” he says.

Heather nods and a ghost of a smile appears on her face. This is the very first time she’s directed a genuine smile towards Eddie. She looks pretty.

“Well,” she says, clapping her hands together in finality. “I’m glad we had this talk. We have to go. But um….I’ll see you around, Eddie.”

Before Eddie can say anything else, Heather nods one more time and starts walking away. As the jocks and cheerleaders begin following, Eddie notices that majority of them look at him and shockingly offer him a brief nod or smile.

However, one cheerleader who didn’t seem too happy, stepped up.

“Just remember, even though we’re gonna try our best and be nice to you, this doesn’t mean we’re best friends or anything, got it?” She says with a scowl on her face.

However, it doesn’t even phase Eddie.

“Got it. Trust me, I’m more than happy not being friends with you,” he says with a smile.

A few of the jocks and other cheerleaders snicker at the remark.

The cheerleader’s eyes widen. She opens her mouth to retort, but Heather quickly walks back to grab her shoulders and steer her off.

Once all of them are gone, Eddie leans his back against the lockers and drops his head back, letting out a deep breath he didn’t even realize he was holding. However, he feels a smile begin to bloom across his face.

Maybe the rest of the day wouldn’t be so bad after all.

* * *

Finally, when the end of the day arrives, Eddie is walking with a skip in his step. Just like Heather promised, none of her goons had messed with him at all. Sure, he received glares from all the other students still, but they never actually bullied him. He could tolerate them. But as far as the actual bullies go...he hasn’t been receiving any direct bullying from them.

He walks to his locker and quickly stuffs his books in, not even caring if they look nice and neat as usual. He shuts the locker and begins walking down the hall.

Suddenly Richie turns the corner and appears at the end of the hall. Richie’s face immediately lights up and a big smile stretches across his face. Eddie feels a smile on his own face appear.

Eddie notices from the corner of his eye that some of the students in the hallway have stopped to see what the two boys would do. They probably wanted to see if the two would actually be acting like a couple now?

Eddie could see that Richie noticed the students staring as well. For a second, Eddie feared that Richie was about to walk away in fear of what might happen. However, Richie simply shrugs and begins racing towards Eddie with that same grin on his face. Eddie lets out a sigh of relief and even giggles a little bit.

He quickly walks towards Richie and meets him halfway. As soon as the two boys are in contact, they both wrap their arms around each other and hug tightly. Eddie can feel Richie’s grin stretch even wider against his head. Richie drops a kiss on Eddie’s forehead.

“I missed you,” he says.

Eddie’s heartbeat picks up.

“I missed you, too,” he replies earnestly.

“Well. You have any plans today? Or for the rest of the weekend, for that matter?” Richie asks.

Eddie shakes his head.

“Nope. Cleared my entire schedule this weekend. For you,” he finishes shyly.

Richie’s face softens. He cradles Eddie’s face in both of his hands, completely ignoring all the students who are now staring at the boys with slight disgust.

“Good. What do you say we start this weekend off by letting me buy us some ice cream?”

Eddie’s smile lights up his entire face.

“Sounds perfect.”

Richie laces their fingers together and the two walk side by side down the hallway. The students watch them, even as Richie and Eddie both give them pointed looks right back. When a couple girls and boys shake their heads and whisper and point, Richie is sure to flip them off as he passes them.

Eddie can’t help but laugh at the students’ looks of astonishment in response.

Richie squeezes Eddie’s hand and the two boys turn to look right at each as they walk, both sporting large smiles on their faces. Gretta turns the corner and makes eye contact with the two boys. Eddie notices that for a split second, Gretta’s eyes soften at the sight of the two of them but she quickly covers it up. She rolls her eyes and pretends to look like she’s grossed out.

“You guys are disgustingly cute. Stop it,” she says, though she has a hint of humor in her tone.

Richie responds first.

“Can’t. I have the best boyfriend in the world.”

Gretta fake gags and keeps walking, though she’s smiling. Just a tad bit, but it’s still there.

It takes Eddie a few seconds to process what Richie had said, but when he does, he freezes and turns to look right up at Richie.

“B-boyfriend? You wanna be…...my boyfriend?”

Richie nods as if there’s nothing wrong in the world.

“Well, duh. I don’t buy ice cream for just anyone.”

Eddie’s face slowly dissolves into one of complete love and adoration for the taller boy with the wildest curly hair he’s ever seen.

“I love you, Richie,” he says.

This time, it’s Richie who’s taken aback. His eyes widen and he almost seems shocked to hear Eddie’s words, as if he can’t believe he’s hearing them. But slowly, he grins again and wraps an arm around Eddie’s waist, pulling the shorter boy flush against him.

“I love you,” he responds.

* * *

“So. Graduation is only in a month,” Eddie says when he and Richie are alone at the park later that evening.

“Yeah,” Richie responds. “Crazy, huh?”

“Yeah,” Eddie replies. “Really crazy.”

Eddie realizes that he and Richie haven’t once discussed what will happen to the two of them after they graduate. Eddie hasn’t even thought of  _ himself.  _ Where will he go? His mother forced him to apply for the University of Derry months ago, but Eddie knows for a fact that he doesn’t want to go there. But he realizes with sadness that he’ll most likely have to, because he didn’t really look into any other schools. He wasn’t exactly sure what he even wants to do with his life, so he he was too afraid to even look at different colleges to try to help himself.

“Any college plans?” Richie asks.

Eddie sighs softly.

“Yeah. My mom will mostly likely make me go to the University of Derry. She won’t want me leaving any further.”

Richie nods slowly.

“What about you?” Eddie asks. “Any college plans?”

Richie nods immediately, his face lighting up.

“Yeah. I’m going to LA.”

Eddie’s heart stops and his eyes widen.

“L-LA? As is Los Angeles,  _ California? _ ” He asks, completely shocked.

“Yeah. I’m already looking at apartments over there. I don’t want to go to school, though. I’m going to try to find a music job as soon as I get there. It was actually you who influenced me to do that. When you told me that I should continue playing the guitar because you thought I was good. It made me realize that I want to do that as a living. Play music. Perform. For big crowds. All over the country. Sounds like my kinda life,” Richie says with a grin.

“W-wow,” Eddie says. “That’s amazing, Richie. I am so proud of you,” Eddie says.

And he means it. But a sudden wave of extreme devastation washes over him as he realizes that this means Richie will be leaving. Far away. Sure, they could try long distance, but Eddie knows for a fact that it will be challenging.

“Thanks. So. Do you want to go to University of Derry?”

Eddie shakes his head.

“No. But I didn’t apply anywhere else. So I kind of have to.”

“Hm. Well, I kind of have a dilemma, to be honest. You see, the apartment that I’m looking at purchasing in California is for two. As you may know, I’m not rich. I can barely handle paying for myself. So that definitely means I can’t pay for a two-person apartment.”

Eddie blinks. He wonders where Richie is going with this.

I guess I could try finding a roommate, but eh, I don’t really want to go through the trouble. Nor do I want to rick having a roommate who I can’t get along with,” Richie continues. “So, that really owns me one thing.”

He turns to stare Eddie right in the eyes, and Eddie suddenly gets it.

“R-richie. I can’t. I can’t go to California. There’s nothing over there for me. I-I haven’t even looked at schools over there. I don’t even know how to begin-”

“Say no more,” Richie says with a chirp in his voice.

He suddenly reaches into his backpack, which has been laying on the other side of him on the bench.

Eddie’s eyebrows scrunch together in wonder.

Richie pulls out a big golden envelope. Eddie sees the letters UCLA on it.

_ University of Los Angeles, California. _

The next thing Eddie sees is his own name plastered right in the middle of it.

“W-what is that?” Eddie asks.

“Open it,” Richie says simply, as he pushes the envelope towards Eddie.

Eddie grabs the envelope with shaky hands.

He opens it and pulls out a small stack of papers.

He opens the letter on top.

“Read it aloud,” Richie says softly. He grips Eddie’s hand in his own and squeezes it encouragingly.

Eddie nods slowly and swallows.

“ _ Dear Eddie, _

_ Congratulations! It is our great pleasure to offer you admission to UCLA for the fall quarter of 2018. _

_ You have been admitted to the UCLA College of Nursing with Nursing as you major. _ ”

Tears are already falling down Eddie’s face before he can even continue reading, so he shakily sets the letter aside and covers his mouth as he begins to cry.

“I-I got in. I got accepted to UCLA.”

He can’t believe it. His world is spinning.

Richie laughs brightly and nods, wrapping an arm around Eddie’s shoulder and pulling the shorter boy into his chest.

“Yep. That’s right. Trust me, I had no doubt that they would take you. You’re Eddie fucking Kaspbrak. You’re gonna take that school by the horns and  _ kill it.” _

Eddie laughs happily, rubbing furiously at his eyes.

“H-how did you know? Nursing?”

“You may not think that I pay attention all the time, but I do in fact pay attention all the time. I see how passionate you get when you talk about helping people. I can already see you looking all cute in some scrubs, saving lives and shit.”

Eddie snorts.

“Yes, that’s exactly what Nurses do, Richie. Save lives and shit.”

They both giggle hysterically. It’s such a stupid joke, but they can’t stop laughing. They’re laughing because they’re happy, they’re laughing at all the stupid Derry kids who can’t handle two boys loving each other, they’re laughing at each other for taking so long to finally become boyfriends. But they’re mostly laughing because their lives are about to completely change in the next few months, but they’re going to go through that change  _ together.  _ Just like it should be.

“We’re really doing this,” Eddie states.

“Hell yes,” Richie replies, moving forward and tapping Eddie’s nose with his own.

Eddie takes a deep breath and nods.

“Okay.”

Richie nods right back.

“Okay.”

Eddie knows that they have a lot of planning and talking to do. He knows his mom will be close to having a heart attack when he tells her,  _ Hey mom. Guess what? I have a boyfriend now. Oh yeah! I’m also taking off to California with him right when we graduate. _

They’ll struggle. They’ll struggle a lot. But right here and now, Eddie knows that no matter what, he and Richie will work through it together.

Together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought in the comments below!! One more chapter left to go:((
> 
> Thank for reading, everyone. You rock!


	14. Beautiful Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, well, well.......I AM BACK! Back from hibernation, it seems. Guys, this is it. This is the last chapter. After months and months, we have reached the end of the journey. Thank you to everyone who's been reading this work I've been putting together since last November. I really and truly appreciate every single one of you who left kudos and/or comments or just simply read my story. I hope you've grown attached to the characters I've put together just as much as I have. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
> 
> I've got another Reddie story on here entitled "Better than Me". I literally haven't touched that one in MONTHS. There's only one chapter posted right now, but I'll be constructing a new chapter of that over the next few days, and that should be posted in just a few days. Feel free to check that one out when you're done reading this story. 
> 
> Once again, thank you! Enjoy!

"-and we now invite our salutatorian to the stage, Ms. Gretta Keene."

There's the sound of scattered applause, along with the sound of whistles and cheers, as the one and only Gretta Keene steps up to the microphone at Derry High's graduation ceremony. 

Eddie can't believe it. Here he is, with all of his fellow classmates, waiting to receive his diploma, which will grant him the achievement of graduating from Derry High School. Four years of school for one diploma. Four years of torture and hell from a majority of his classmates. Four years of being bullied and torn down by everyone, including his own family.  _Three_ years of pining over the same boy who he never thought would ever look twice in his direction. But.... _one_ year of nothing but love and pure sweetness with that same boy. Maybe the first three years of high school were completely miserable, but  _boy,_ did that fourth year seem to make up for all of it. 

All because of  _Richie._ Richie fucking Tozier, who's currently sitting up on the actual stage near the faculty and a few other students because he's somehow a whiz kid who was invited to give a speech to the graduating class along with Gretta. 

Eddie just stares at Richie. He can't help it. I mean, the boy is  _hot._ But more importantly, Eddie is absolutely  _in love_ with that abnormally tall curly haired boy.  _The gentle giant,_ Eddie jokes to himself. He snickers quietly. Just then, Richie turns his head and locks eyes with Eddie. Eddie freezes at the look in Richie's eyes. He never thought anyone would ever look at him the way Richie is right now. A look of pure adoration and law. 

Eddie feels the corner of his eyes prick with tears but he holds them back. The actual graduating part hasn't even started yet, the crying doesn't happen until after the ceremony, he reminds himself. Eddie smiles at Richie, who gives him a big goofy grin right back and shoots him two thumbs up. Eddie can't help but chuckle at the sheer silliness of Richie.

"Thank you," Gretta says in the microphone. She clears her throat and continues. 

"I don't really like these kinds of speeches but for some reason, I was invited up to here to talk to you all because I'm super smart. Probably a lot smarter than most of you," she says.

There's a chorus of chuckles and murmurs of agreements that come from the students and even some of the faculty members. 

"So I'm just going to keep this short and sweet before I start to really go off on a lot of you for being dumbasses throughout all of high school. Congratulations, Derry High graduates. After four long years of work and dedication, we've finally made it. We're finally at that end of the tunnel everyone always seems to talk about. Good job to everyone who's made it this far. However, this is only the beginning. The beginning of our actual lives. Now, we must conquer the real world, full of paying bills and raising families and all that. Doesn't seem very fun, but that's life, right? Well. I have one piece of advice that I'd like to share with all of you students. I actually did spend quite a bit of my precious time coming up with what kind of advice I wanted to give you all. I wanted it to be special, you know? Memorable. And at last, I finally came up with the perfect words that I'm sure will  _really_ resonate with majority of you all."

Eddie's eyebrows raise, because he notices how Gretta's eyes harden right then. It wasn't that noticeable, but Eddie noticed it right away, mostly because he's seen that look directed at himself more times than he can count. Uh oh. Where is she going with this? Eddie's locks eyes with Richie again, who looks just as panicked as he does. 

"The advice I wanted to give you all is to.....grow the fuck up!" Gretta suddenly exclaims loudly. Eddie gasps, his eyes widening. Everyone else around him makes sounds of disbelief as well, just as shocked as he is. Richie is wide eyed and quiet as well.

"I know that doesn't sound very nice, and I know I'm probably going to be in trouble for saying that. But, if I don't say it, this won't ever get through your brains. What I mean by grow up, is not literally and physically grow up. I mean, mentally. Grow up. So many of you are some of the most ignorant people I've ever met. It's like you all live in this bubble that absolutely cannot be popped and if it is, you freak the hell out as if your life is about to end. Well let me tell you this, the real world is  _filled_ with all kinds of people that will be more than happy to pop those stupid bubbles you're all living in. I'm saying all of this because of how I saw everyone treat two students at this school. I won't name drop them because I like to keep it classy, but I'm sure you all know who I'm talking about. Two boys. Two boys who felt something for each other that everyone feels at some point in their life. Love. Oh but wait, that doesn't sound right does it? Because they're two boys? Well, guess what? Grow the  _fuck_ up! Who the hell cares if two boys love each other? You know how many gay people there are all around the world?  _Tons!_ You all tossed these two boys aside and treated them like shit all because you couldn't be bothered to accept them for who they are. They have done absolutely nothing wrong, but you all don't care. You treat them like they're pieces of garbage anyway! Just because you think you can! Well, you can't! Because those are human beings with feelings and hearts, and those unkind words you all have to say can hurt! I know you are all probably wondering why I'm so caught up on this! Well....it's because I'm gay too! Yep, I said it! Announced it for the first time at my own high school graduation in front of all my classmates, faculty, and parents. I'm in love with a girl. Have been for a while. But I never wanted to admit it because I see how you guys treat anyone who's different. And I was too scared. But I regret being afraid, because at the end of the day, I couldn't care less what you all think of me. I'm getting the hell out of here, and I'll never look back on this town filled with people who are too afraid of any kind of change. Too afraid of accepting something that's a little different, so you all instead sit there and pretend those people are invisible. Well, I'm sick of it. I'm sick of this town! And I'm especially sick of all of you!"

Just then, the microphone cuts out as someone was  _finally_ able to cut the sound off to stop Gretta. 

It's silent. No one makes a sound.

Gretta stands there for a few moments, breathing heavily, before she slowly straightens out her cap and gown and clears her throat. 

Eddie feels like his heart has permanently stopped. His mouth is open wide and he knows his eyes much be as wide as an animated cartoon character. The only sounds are a cough every now and then, and a quick whisper amongst the students. The principal of the school, who had been the one to cut the microphone out, storms up to the stage and harshly whispers in Gretta's ear. Gretta doesn't seem phased at all, simply shrugging her shoulders and sitting back in her seat. 

Suddenly, there's the sound of clapping coming from the stage. Eddie's head snaps to the front, only to be even more shocked to see Richie of all people standing up as he claps slowly, a grin spreading across his face. Eddie exhales sharply at the sight. Just then, a few other students who Eddie recognizes to be extremely close friends of Gretta stand as well and clap, including the cheerleader who Gretta must've been talking about, given the blush and large smile she sports. Then, to Eddie's right, there are the sound of even more claps, and he laughs in disbelief to see all of his friends standing to clap as well. Mike, Ben, Bev, Bill, and Stan are all standing and clapping with a smile on their face. Eddie feels like he's in a movie. And almost like his body has a mind of its own, he feels himself stand and clap too. Richie's smile seems to grown even more when he makes eye contact with Eddie. Eddie laughs in return and gives Richie a ' _What the hell was that about?'_ look, to which Richie simply shrugs but continues grinning in return.

Gretta looks pleased as punch from where she's sitting on the stage, smiling widely at everyone who stood to clap for her. The rest of the students, as well as the faculty don't look too happy, simply sitting there with red faces and frowns. 

"Please, quiet. We must continue the ceremony," the principal says, once the microphone is on again. "Um, would the Valedictorian, Richie Tozier please come up?"

Everyone claps politely as Richie makes his way up to the microphone. Eddie cheers loudly, along with Gretta and all of their friends. 

"Thank you!" Richie says happily into the microphone. "Wow, thank you for that speech Ms. Keene! Very much needed, and definitely memorable. Had a perfect amount of spice and flavor to really heat things up."

Eddie snorts.

"Derry High graduates, here we are. We've done it, you guys! Really, you guys rock. I mean, seriously, I don't know if I've ever met a better group of people. Especially those of you who particularly went out of your way to make my life hell the past couple of months. Thanks for that. You don't know how much that has meant to me," Richie continues in that same chipper voice, those his eyes harden ever so slightly.

"Gretta's right. You guys are dicks and that's that. Those of you who aren't a dick, you know who you are. But the rest of you, seriously, have fun being trapped in your limited mind all your life. It won't get you very far, trust me. You all chose to look up to me, all until I fell in love with a boy," Richie says, eyes flickering to Eddie's. "Then, suddenly I became the floor that you all walk on. I became trash in your eyes. Did anything about me change? No. I'm still the exact same person. But because I realized I'm in love with boys, I'm suddenly the worst person imaginable. And I'm not about to stand up here and talk about myself, as if I've had it bad all my life. Because I haven't. But there's one boy in particular, who you guys treated like he was worthless the past four years and probably even before that. You guys tortured him beyond repair, all for the fun of it. Because you have nothing to do. Well, congratulations. I hope you feel better about yourself for that. But, you know what? That boy is coming with me to UCLA this coming Fall? And you know what else? He's going to be a successful nurse. Isn't that something? He wants to spend his life helping out other humans, even though he's been let down by them time after time. He's really something, I'll tell you that. He's the best person I've ever met, and I can't fucking wait to see him grow and take the world by the horns. Since I'm also about to be silenced by our principal, I wanted to just end it by saying this.  _Fuck you guys._ "

Richie suddenly puts his two middle fingers up and flicks off the entire student body, creating yet another wave of gasps amongst the crowd. By this point, Eddie can't even be shocked anymore. He's truly seen it all, he has not shock left in him. So again, he simply stands and claps, joining the exact same people who stood for Gretta.

Suddenly, Gretta, with a warm look in her eyes, runs up to the microphone next to Richie and shouts. "Yeah, what Richie said! Fuck you guys!" She joins Richie in flicking off the students body, and Eddie begins to laugh at the sight. 

For some reason, he's not that shocked that his own graduation ended up being everything  _but_ normal. Actually, Eddie would've truly been shocked if this ceremony was normal.

* * *

 

"Oh my fucking god, Richie! I can't believe you! When did you grow such a huge pair of balls to do something like that?" Stan shouts as soon as the group is together when the ceremony ends. They're sitting together at the barrens. They all finally were able to escape their parents for a few hours, promising they'd be home soon. Eddie dreads going home. His mother didn't say a single thing to him after the ceremony, simply asking him if he was going out, and when Eddie replied that he was, she simply nodded and let him know that they'd talk when he returned home. The look in her eyes scared Eddie, to be honest. He's never seen them so empty, emotionless. Eddie had no idea what was going to happen when he returned home, but he's ready for it. He's ready to stand up for himself and for Richie, and not take no for an answer. Speaking of Richie, who feels incredibly warm against Eddie right now.

Eddie wraps his arms even tighter around Richie's waist in happiness. He's never felt as happy as he does right now. Richie's arms are wrapped just as tightly around his shoulders.

"Oh, you know," Richie says. "Your mother."

Stan rolls his eyes, but his smile doesn't falter.

"T-that was awesome, R-Richie," Bill says, fist bumping Richie.

"Thanks. But in all seriousness, I actually did have a completely normal, family friendly speech written down that I was going to do, but Gretta's speech ended up inspiring me to come out with something much better."

"Thank god for Gretta then. Because that speech was fucking legendary," Bev says with a grin.

The group laughs and then settles into an easy conversation, mostly about their college plans. Beverly and Ben were heading to New York together. Bev would be going to NYU with a major in fashion design and Ben would be attending the same University with a major in Anthropology. Stan and Bill were going to both travel to London together to study abroad. Stan was going to study Animal Sciences while Bill would become a writer. Mike decided to head to Texas, where he would be living with some cousins, and also working on a farm over there. 

Eddie suddenly realized how much he would miss all of his friends. Even though he just became friends with most of them, they all proved that they were very loyal individuals. He didn't want to part with them yet, but he knew they would have to at the end of the summer. Eddie did know for a fact that they would all definitely be visiting each other and meeting up again, which calmed him bit.

He sighed happily and snuggled into Richie's side, who wrapped his arms even tighter around him. Suddenly, Eddie's phone vibrated in his pocket. Eddie grabbed it and glanced down at his phone. He sees Gretta's name flash across the screen.

_I'll miss you, little guy. Get the hell out of here and go somewhere where you can finally be happy with Richie. You two deserve it. You two are going to do so many wonderful things. With love, Gretta._

 

Eddie's gaping at his screen by the time he's done reading. He re-reads it over and over, not believing the words he's reading. He never thought Gretta would ever be so nice, but she's definitely proven that even she is a wonderful person when she wants to be. Eddie sends back a quick text before pocketing his phone.

_Thank you, Gretta. For everything. I'll miss you._

Eddie sighs to himself and suddenly he feels Richie lower his head until he's almost face to face with Eddie.

"You okay?" He asks warmly.

Eddie smiles up at Richie, leaning forward to kiss him. Richie immediately returns the kiss, cupping Eddie's face with his hands. They kiss slowly, savoring each moment of it.

"God, would you get a fucking room?" Stan says, throwing a stick at the two boys. They immediately separate, laughing.

Stan gives them a soft look, as he weaves his fingers together with Bill's, holding his hand gently. Bill blushes and moves closer to Stan, leaning his head on his shoulder.

Richie gives them a thumbs up and Eddie simply smiles. 

Eddie knows he'll still have to go home and face his mother. He knows it probably won't be very pretty.

But right here, and right now, he didn't care about anything else. As long as he had Richie and all their friends, everything was good. 

More than good.

Perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you so much for reading! I have a 'soundtrack' for this story too. Almost every chapter was a song title. Here they are in order of chapters.
> 
> Chapter 1. Walking On a Dream - Empire of the Sun  
> Chapter 2. Fantasy - Mariah Carey  
> Chapter 3. You Don't Know Me - Ben Folds  
> Chapter 4. Nasty - Pixie Lott  
> Chapter 5. Feels Like We Only Go Backwards - Tame Impala  
> Chapter 6. Making Plans for Nigel - Nouvelle Vague  
> Chapter 7. Our House - Crosby Stills and Nash  
> Chapter 8. To Build a Home - The Cinematic Orchestra  
> Chapter 9. Wild - Beach House  
> Chapter 10. On Melancholy Hill - Gorillaz  
> Chapter 11. My Kind of Woman - Mac DeMarco  
> Chapter 12. Walk in the Park - Beach House  
> Chapter 14. Beautiful Light - Uppermost

**Author's Note:**

> So! What did you think? Comments, kudos and feedback is strongly welcomed and appreciated! Thanks guys! Excited to continue this for you all! :)


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